Enough is Enough: The Etiquette of Connection Requests on LinkedIn

Platforms like LinkedIn have become indispensable tools for making connections, sharing insights, and exploring potential collaborations. However, there's a disconcerting trend that takes away from the promising opportunities for connection and exploration of mutual business interests. That trend involves the sheer volume of unsolicited sales pitches that invade all available inboxes, every day, at all hours. As someone who values meaningful connections as a person and as a marketer, I'm calling out this vexing problem, starting with the increasingly predatory behavior of vendors on LinkedIn.

I'm especially frustrated by the unwelcome barrage of sales pitches that arrive under the guise of LinkedIn connection invitations. Used to be, you'd get a stranger's connection request followed by a sales pitch. That was bad enough. Now, vendors are skipping the second step and wrapping sales pitches in faux-friendly requests to be admitted to your network and get a call on the calendar that same week. It's clear, these vendors don't want to follow me for the scintillating content I produce or my hot takes on nonprofit marketing. No, I'm simply a gatekeeper to a budget they'd like to tap - and I know that I am one of many CMOs being hit up with the same fawning language and guarantees to double my conversions. The game is about spraying and praying until one of us gives them time on the calendar.

Why does this grate on me so much? Because the approach blatantly disregards the fundamental principles of networking.

The foundation of a valuable connection should be built on trust, shared interests, or mutual contacts. More immediately, the approach irritates me because every minute that I waste opening, skimming and then deleting an unwelcome pitch is time I am not spending on mission, team leadership or networking with people with whom I share legitimate professional interests.

So, what's the solution? It starts with a basic understanding of etiquette. When a vendor seeks to connect with someone on LinkedIn, particularly someone with whom they have no prior relationship, it's essential to make a gracious entrance.

Here's a better approach:

1. The outreach would feel significantly less invasive if a vendor would start by asking a mutual connection for an introduction. If a vendor genuinely believes that their offering will benefit my organization, they should consider reaching out to someone we both know on the platform and ask to be introduced or endorsed. This introduction can serve as a bridge between the vendor and the potential connection. It's a more respectful way to approach someone and, in many cases, it can open doors that would remain firmly shut otherwise.
2. If a vendor genuinely believes there's potential for collaboration, they must take the time to nurture the connection. Engage with my posts, share insightful content, and show a sincere interest in my what's happening in my organization, in my professional environment and among my network.
3. After a period of interaction and relationship building, it's appropriate to inquire if I would be interested in discussing services or products. This approach respects my time and establishes a foundation for a meaningful conversation.

Now, let's pause for a moment and reflect on a set of questions every marketer should ask themselves:

• Is my pitch going to be more annoying than helpful to the recipient? Am I wasting his/her time as well as my own?
• Have I done my homework? Is my pitch deep and narrow to address this manager's specific pain points? Or, am I going wide and shallow and hoping this pitch lands?
• Is the nature of my request and the channel I selected to contact this person who doesn't know me likely to result in being deleted, blocked, or reported?
• Is intrusion a good way to start a trusting relationship?

The answers to these questions are glaringly apparent. Unsolicited, invasive pitches can quickly turn from an annoyance to a cause for immediate action: deletion. They risk tarnishing not a vendor's reputation but also that of the entire marketing industry. Remember, professionalism and courtesy should be at the forefront of any marketer's approach, not pushiness, assumption or rapacious behavior.

Today in business, time is our most precious commodity. Respect for one another's inbox space is of paramount importance. It's frustrating when vendors resort to tactics that are, at best, rude and counterproductive.

As professionals, we must recognize that first impressions matter. An unsolicited pitch as the opening move can leave a sour taste, no matter how tantalizing the offering might be. It's like proposing on the first date; it's too much too soon.

The game of marketing is constantly evolving, and it's vital that vendors adapt to these changes. Marketers should be aware that, particularly in a digital age, trust and authenticity are key. Just as I wouldn't rush into a face-to-face meeting with a prospective donor with my hand out, vendors should not force a relationship that doesn't exist, or one that's not ready to flourish. Building trust and rapport is a gradual process, and rushing this phase can be a major turn-off.

So, what's the solution? The answer lies in understanding the art of strategic communication. It's about building genuine relationships rather than trying to close a deal at the first opportunity.

Vendors, you can do better. Here are a few ways to improve your chances of a warm reception:

1. After connecting, send a polite greeting or a message thanking the person for connecting. Acknowledge the connection as a step toward building a professional relationship. Be authentic and intentional.
2. Take the time to learn about the person with whom you've connected. What are their interests, what is their professional journey, what are their pain points, or their recent accomplishments? Use this information to craft a personalized message that shows you've done your homework and that you really do have a solution tailored to a specific need.
3. Instead of launching into a sales pitch immediately, offer something of value. Share an insightful article, ask a relevant question, or engage in a meaningful discussion related to your shared interests or industry. Again, be authentic. If your communication at this juncture feels forced, scripted or formulaic, I'll see right through it.
4. Building relationships takes time. Don't be in a rush to close the deal. Building trust is a gradual process, and pushing too hard too soon can be a major turn-off.
5. If, after some time, you believe there's a genuine opportunity for collaboration, ask for permission to discuss your services or products with the new connection. Respect their decision, whether it's a yes or a no.

The reality is, if vendors can master this art of building authentic relationships, they'll not only stand out but also increase their chances of turning connections into clients. Marketers, especially those pitching to fellow marketers, need to be smarter and more strategic in their approach. After all, who better understands the value of trust, credibility, and good old-fashioned relationship building than someone in the marketing field?

Let's raise the bar for LinkedIn etiquette. Let's use this platform for what it was meant for – professional networking and knowledge sharing. It's time to put an end to the unsolicited pitches that clutter our inboxes and, instead, focus on building relationships that are based on trust, mutual respect and mutual interests. In this way, we not only create a more pleasant networking environment but also ensure that our efforts as vendors are genuinely appreciated.

Remember, the golden rule of marketing: treat others as you would like to be treated. It's a win-win for everyone.