ENOUGH?

I’ve been lucky to do, and learn, a lot by age thirty-seven. The age I turn in a week.

I’ve realized by 37 that:

• I have no desire for power or status: a fancy title, corner office, or extremely bloated salaries are not things I strive for.
• Material possessions are not only unfulfilling — they’re a burden. One chair, a bed, a book, and a candle will suffice.
• Fame and notoriety is fleeting, shallow, and never enough: I haven’t quite hit Leonardo DiCaprio paparazzi status — but I’ve tasted more than most a couple of times. Isolating. Ungrounding. Not worth it.
• Money is a tool. There’s a lot of it out in the world. It’ll come, it’ll go. Hoarding it, collecting more than you need, depriving it from others, and obsessing over it will never get you anywhere worth being. Some of the most authentic, interesting, and intelligent people in this world are terrible at accumulating it. Some of the biggest pricks are excellent at it. Worth is nearly worthless.
• Love and admiration from one dedicated person > adoration from hundreds of fleeting ones.
• Traveling the world should be done — if you have the means. You can learn more firsthand than you’ll ever be able to via text or documentary. Travel allows you to engage all the senses at once. That being said: travel as an act is overrated. It is escapism when overdone. I’ve done enough travel for one lifetime and you will never catch me saying, “I wish I would’ve traveled more”.
• Mistakes and missteps are okay? And sometimes necessary. (still working on this one, actually) Some say there are no errors on the Game of Life.
• I don’t need anyone but me…but life is a hell of a lot more fulfilling with a handful of people who’d do anything for you.

Do I have enough?

Yes.

Have I accomplished more than I ever imagined possible?

Yes.

Do I still want more?

If I’m gonna keep playing this game — I have a couple more “goals” before I kick the bucket. They are few. And I will be patient (for the first time in my life).

I’m a curious person and that curiosity must be constantly satiated. Does this mean I’m never fulfilled? Yes in the same way your body desires more than one meal in a lifetime. But after a meal, when the hunger subsides, it’s worth kicking your feet up, rubbing your belly, and living in the grateful moment.

I am not on a hedonic treadmill — perhaps just a never-ending fulfillment escalator. Sometimes the escalator breaks down, or stops, or slows down. But that’s fine with me. I have nowhere, specific, to be.

I never made it to the top of any industry — but I’ve shared the room with the “tip-of-the-top” in areas such as Politics, Entertainment, and Philanthropy/Capital. Sharing these rooms makes me see the sacrifice* required to make it to the top (*depravation). And it makes me realize the way I want to live: to be as unelectable as possible.

Here lies Craigory Wiroll: he spoke his truth, bothered many, loved deeply, cared a ton, and was adored by a handful of fanatical loyalists. What a weirdo.