ENOUGH IS ENOUGH – CONSENT: How to Reach Boys, Girls, Young Adults

Chanel Contos, a former student of Kambala,? received more than 7,000 sexual assault testimonies from girls aged from 13 who were sexually assaulted by teen boys.

Students from Scots College, Cranbrook, Sydney Grammar, Waverley College, Kambala, Kincoppal-Rose Bay, Monte Sant Angelo and Pymble Ladies’ College are repeatedly listed in the testimonies.

Brilliant young women including Grace Tame and Chantel Contos are speaking to the girls and women. Are they are reaching boys? When you see the growth in support of Andrew Tate and his misogyny and his hatred of women, it is not working.

I am horrified as we go down the politically correct pathway without results. Well meaning government and non-government bodies are trying to address this issue. Girls are calling for CONSENT. Education authorities applaud them. But teen and young adult girls are being assaulted today. Girls and young women facing verbal and physical abuse especially through ?social media today. Male culture of abuse of girls is hardly changing. ?It can’t work unless there are boys/young adult males talking with girls. Yes, there are the cliches of ‘ASK FOR CONSENT’ and the CONSENT programs, but we need boys.

Boys at the selective Merewether High School in Broadmeadow ran a campaign of attack against an 18 year old girl who was sexually abused from four to 10 years old by a family friend. She confided in one of the boys. He betrayed her trust and initiated the twisted challenge for his mates in a campaign of crushing attacks that she deserved to be abused.

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Private boys schools list year 12? muck up day with activities such as kissing a girl under the age of 15, kissing an "Asian chick" and having sex with a woman who weighs over 80 kilos, is aged over 40 or one deemed a "3/10 or lower".

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My sole parent friend was horrified to learn that her good-looking charming 16 year old son was proud of his list of girls he sleeps with and then discards. The girls have few defences.

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SO LET’S GET REAL.

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The Edge of Limits is compelling literature, where I literally ‘sucked out’ my son’s life. It reveals the self doubt, identity confusion, peer pressure influence in the complexities of male-female sexuality. CONSENT is at the forefront.

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Unless the girls are in the conversation, nothing changes.

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Story is such a powerful way to reach adolescents/young adult. There can be real discussions. Only then will there be change. Not in everyone, but in enough girls to understand and support each other to act with insight. To challenge enough boys, so they stand up against abuse of girls.

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The Edge of Limits is confronting and uncomfortable for adults, parents and gate-keepers. Even though we know the outcomes that can be as terrible as the Leigh Leigh murder.

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The?murder of Leigh Leigh, was at a 16-year-old boy's birthday party at?Stockton Beach,?New South Wales. The 14-year-old girl from?Fern Bay?was assaulted by a group of boys after she returned distressed from being raped by a 15 year old boy. After being kicked and spat on by the boys, Leigh left the party. Her naked body was found in the sand dunes nearby the following morning, with severe genital damage and a crushed skull.

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The Edge of Limits brings girls into the teen male story, so they are aware and empowered in their relationships with boys. When the 18 year old Mereweather school student confides to her male friend at school, she is totally unprepared for the sexual campaign against her. It is actually nothing to do with the girl. It is about the young male identity where he is wanting to establish his ‘coolness’. The collateral damage is the girl. He doesn’t event want to hurt the girl.

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As an educator specialising in child growth and development, I recognise that during adolescence, the area of the brain responsible for reasoning, planning, and problem solving, is developing, which when coupled with the hormonal surge of puberty can lead to impulsive and negative behaviour. It is essential that boys and girls talk.

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‘The Edge of Limits’ facilitates essential discussion.

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Online: Amazon - Edge of Limits : GERVAY, SUSANNE: Amazon.com.au: Books