The Enigma of Personal identity
Who are you? It might seem like an innocent question but your answer – or answers – will help you identify the roles you’ve learned to play in order to fit in with your social surroundings. But which of the roles is the real you? Which of your many masks truly represents who you really are? Who’s hiding beneath the layers of programmed behaviour that’s shaped your sense of identity? And why is any of this important?
Human beings are more likely to flourish when they are freed from their conditioned behaviours. Developing a deeper sense of self is the most important step any of us can take on the pathway to personal fulfilment.
When we learn to become more aware of our thoughts and feelings, we quickly realise that most of what we think and feel are nothing more than habits. Obviously, it can be very unsettling to learn that most of our sense of who we are is artificial, a construct of our early childhood conditioning, and that there might be something deeper within us that’s waiting to be discovered. It’s as if we have to abandon our precious individuality and risk losing ourselves in an unknown quantity of personality traits that bear little resemblance to the familiar face in the mirror that we’ve learned to accept as real.
Rather than questioning all the roles we play, perhaps the better question is to ask whether these behaviours are helping us or hindering our progress. In other words, are you getting in the way of your own happiness, success and fulfilment?
We don’t have to abandon everything that constitutes our sense of identity. We can start by letting go of limiting beliefs about our potential for happiness. We can make small adjustments to our attitudes about success. We can let go of negative reactions towards others. We can make a little space within our minds to cultivate a greater degree of acceptance – towards ourselves as well as towards the people we meet.
Ultimately, only you can decide who and what you are. The voyage of discovery does not involve adding new layers to your personality. It’s a process of discarding everything that is not you. What remains might not be immediately familiar but it will be the answer to every question that’s ever crossed your mind.