Are You Too Broken to Be an Amazing Coach?

Are You Too Broken to Be an Amazing Coach?

Are you too broken to be an amazing coach?

It’s easy to compare yourself (poorly) to the great coaching gurus…

Coaches who are more successful than you

Coaches with tons of clients

Coaches with a big following… maybe even a podcast?

Success seems to come so easily to those coaches…

…because they look so perfect…

…especially when you are acutely aware of your own flaws, insecurities, and bad decisions.

But that “guru” didn’t start out perfect.

You’re just seeing their final product.

You’re not seeing the years of work they put into becoming that coach.

This reminds me of a dinner party where, when I walked into the kitchen, I noticed how beautiful it was…

I told the hostess, “Your entire house looks amazing.”

The hostess remarked, “We just remodeled.”

Instantly, after her answer, I let the hostess off her ‘perfect pedestal’ in my mind...

…and felt empathy for her.

Now I KNEW that hostess (or at least her life) wasn’t PERFECT…

…even though her home LOOKED perfect.

Why?

Because, having gone through a remodel or two, myself…

…I understood what that meant.

Months of dust

Interruptions from workers…

…and probably a non-functional kitchen.

Tons of work

…money…

…and agonizing hours of decision-making and planning.

Read those last few lines again.

Does any of THAT sound like your coaching journey?

So back to the question…

“Are you too broken to ever be an amazing coach?”

Not according to the ancient Japanese art of Kintsugi

…where the artists mend broken bowls with melted gold

Oriental bowl w/ gold line

…emphasizing the cracks…

…and the imperfections

…instead of masking them.

And the bowls not only become stronger

…but more beautiful.

Each one is unique…

…just like you and your coaching journey.

In fact, almost all the most revered and celebrated works of art in history…

Mona Lisa

…are IMPERFECT.

…are BROKEN in some way.

How do you use your flaws to create YOUR OWN work of art?

First…

What was your greatest setback or tragedy?

What was the day your life was RUINED?

What was the day YOU were broken?

Got it?

The emotional intensity of your most painful moment makes it ‘easy’ (albeit, painful) to remember.

I usually think of my failed marriage…

The worst parts of my divorce?

  • The disruption to my family
  • The pain I couldn’t shield my kids from
  • The uncertainty I went through.

What was the worst part of YOUR broken life?

What about the pain it caused you?

Next…

What were the lessons you learned from your catastrophe?

From my tragedy…

  • I learned to stop worrying about things I couldn’t control.
  • I learned to lean on others for support, instead of isolating myself.
  • I found an inner strength and courage I never knew I had.

What did YOU learn from YOUR tragedy?

Finally…

Based on what you learned from being “broken”…

What lessons can you teach others?

Who can you relate to NOW as a result of that experience? What EMPATHY can you have for them?

Who can relate to YOU if they knew what you’ve been through?

Who could you “be for others” who are suffering? What CHARACTER does it demonstrate to them?

What positive skills and solutions did you glean from your loss that might apply to anyone?

My divorce drove me to find my authentic self, and to honor the greatest expression of authenticity in others.

The point?

All your worst experiences

All your worst days…

…are your BEST days.

Where you’re ‘broken’ is where the GOLD is found.

The gold for YOU.

The gold for YOUR CLIENTS.

The gold for YOUR BUSINESS.

The gold that the “Kintsugi” people use to mend those broken bowls…

That’s the gold that you MUST FIND to mend your ‘broken-ness’.

And, if you’ve already FOUND THE GOLD?

You just need to GIVE THE GOLD AWAY.

And your clients will FIND YOU.

Want to go further?

These questions are part of the personal branding and niche exploration process that Master Coach University students experience.

The process includes:

  1. Exploring the top 3 tragedies in your life, then writing what you learned / gained from each.
  2. Discovering your top 3 accomplishments in life, then writing down the skills, mindsets, and knowledge you needed to achieve them.

Reviewing the top 3 influential people in your life, and the lessons you learned from them.

Circles interlocked

The intersection of these 3 areas will guide you to your zone of genius

…the strengths that are uniquely yours.

These strengths will attract the clients who need you

Your raving fans will FIND YOU…

…because you understand their struggles better than anyone else.

…because you have the GOLD that they need to mend their broken relationship (or business, or body, or LIFE).

…because ONLY YOU can reach them.

…because ONLY YOU can truly help them.

The world is full of “broken” clients…

…who are desperately searching for answers.

Broken clients are still out there, despite all the great coaches searching for them.

These clients need your help.

You are one of a kind

You are a perfect fit for those clients…

And THAT will only become more clear…

...if you take the time…

…to do the work…

…and let your uniqueness shine.

You’ll become more of yourself.

You’ll become more of your “flaws” mended by precious metals.

THIS is your personal branding

THIS is your personal ‘zone of genius’...

THIS is your passion.

THIS is your personal mission

THIS can never be duplicated or stolen from another coach…

…no matter what ‘pedestal’ they’re currently on.

Colette "Use Catastrophe" Coiner

Dr. Colette Coiner, PCC, PT, DPT, FAAOMPT

Associate Dean,?Master Coach University

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