ENGR (MAJ) JOHNCAY & MRS GEMMA IHEJIETO: THE GOOD OF A MAN, THE GOODNESS OF A FAMILY

I was completely surprised on Friday, February 12, 2021 when I received a call at about 11:30am from Engr JohnCay Ihejieto with a simple request ‘we want you and your wife to be our ‘2021 Family Val’’ and before I could respond, he told me that as a family, they have this annual or yearly tradition or ritual where they choose a family as their ‘Val Family’ and nudged me not to reject their kind invitation and I did, accepted, willingly.

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Surprisingly, few hours after, at exactly 3:59pm, I got a chat on my WhatsApp from his most elegant and adorable wife, Mrs Gemma Ihejieto which simply read:

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‘Be our Family Val.’ This is to formalize our discussion of this morning, to grace our home with your presence as our “Family Val” for this Year 2021. Time for the dinner will be 06:15pm. Safety protocols for Covid-19 will be strictly observed.’’

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Humbly, I could only respond: ‘This is an honour beyond an honour. We are grateful’ and their subsequent response ‘thank you Mark, if only you know how much we appreciate you. Most times serious appreciation is better done in the heart’ completely humbled me because at that point, I did not know what we have done to deserve such an invitation, such an honour, yet they invited us to be their ‘Family Val’ for Year 2021.

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So on Sunday, February 14, 2021, in the company of my adorable wife, Mrs Racheal Osabomeh (Nee Enaruna), I arrived at the home of the Ihejietos at about 05:45pm and like in a military precision, Engr Ihejieto was personally at his entrance gate, waiting for us, patiently and on our arrival, ushered us into his palatial home after going through the rudiments of the protocols of Covid-19 of washing and sanitization of hands.

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After exchange of pleasantries for few minutes, at exactly 06:15pm, we were ushered into their lively and excitingly set out Dining Room and on the dining table, were foods and drinks of various colours set out for a King and his Queen, but we were not, hence I could only stare in awe because I have never experienced a sight as beautiful as that. I just stare at the magnificent and majestic plates, meant only for a Royal Dinner. Sincerely, I just stared at the plates, however, at that point, I wish that I could do an immediate surgery to my small stomach, to enlarge it.

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I just needed a large stomach at that point, not out of greed, but to do the right justice to the food, delicious meals that were set before us in appreciation of the kindest hearts that we have ever encountered in the Ihejietos.

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I just wish, but I could not.

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Sincerely, the Dinner was, but superb in all ramifications. It was a dinner set out for a Prince and Princess. It was a dinner for a King and Queen. It was a Royal Dinner. It was a dinner set for Royalty. Yet it was set for us, with no leanings to any royalty. Yet the dinner was set before us, in our honour.

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We will forever live with that beautiful memory. And be grateful, forever.

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On arrival at our home at Olokonla at about 09:36pm, words failed me to properly express our gratitude to the Ihejietos. I could only, muster, the best that my courage and wisdom could do, to compose this inadequate appreciation to them through the WhatsApp platform:

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‘We are grateful. From the deepest parts of our hearts, we are grateful to the Ihejietos for finding us worthy to be hosted as their ‘Family Val’ for the Year 2021. The food, especially the Banga Soup, was specially made. Truly, you touched our hearts with your sincere love especially at a time as this where everyone is using the pandemic of Covid-19 as an excuse to keep a social and physical distance. God bless your household with His divine love. Thank you.’

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Truly, the food were tastefully prepared and presented and graciously and generously served to us, but my only regret was the size of my small stomach that could not take more than it was designed for, naturally.

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Yet, we remain very grateful to the Ihejietos for finding us worthy for an honour of a Valentine Dinner in their most peaceful and serene home that we did nothing to deserve.

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That was an unforgettable night for us on Sunday, February 14, 2021 and we will forever cherish it for as long as we are here on earth.

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Thank you Engr (Maj) JohnCay and Mrs Gemma Ihejieto for the beauty of your hearts for us.

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Sincerely, on that night, Sunday, February 14, 2021, the day of St Valentine, we felt love, a selfless love, the love of giving of self for the good cause of the other like St Valentine did and was executed for on Sunday, February 14, 269 AD, many years ago.

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This is the beautiful story that we tell today, the story of true love from the Ihejietos to us even as the world celebrate yet another St Valentine’s Day today, Monday, February 14, 2022.

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This is the beautiful story of the true love that the Ihejietos selflessly extended to us on Sunday, February 14, 2021.

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And this is our story, our true story of love.

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According to the Preacher, God has called us to be His Ambassador in His mission of compassion and mercy. We can reach out to someone who seems confused, hurt, or even lost. We can begin by engaging them in conversation. We can ask them how they are doing and be genuinely interested in their response. We can offer to help them. And if the person is open, we can ask to pray with them, and we can also promise to pray for them. But even if these small things may be a step out of our comfort zones, especially if the person is acting in a way that is hurtful, God will bless our efforts.

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This was exactly what the Ihejietos did on that night, Sunday, February 14, 2021, as they gave me and my wife a lot of love where we seem to be confused on where to find our own love and we can only say ‘thank you’ to them again and again as the Year 2022 St Valentine’s Day is celebrated yet again, even though this would be very inadequate.

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However, how did this beautiful and most compelling story all started? It started in April 2008 when we came to Ajah and started attending Mass at the Catholic Church of the Annunciation, Abraham Adesanya Estate, Ajah - Lagos.

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As a new family, we quietly kept our distance, but observing each Parishioner, especially families closely to be able to gauze what the general atmosphere of the Worshipping Community at the Parish was and needless to state here that we found warmth in every corner of the Parish that we turned to because as a small Christian Community, families were generally warm to each other, making us feel welcome, however, we noticed this particular man who would always walked into the Church with military precision, unassumingly peaceful and generally calm. There was something about him that made us to take note of him and began to make enquiries of who he is and we were never surprised when the results of our background checks began to flood in:

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‘He is Engr JohnCay Ihejieto, a retired Major in the Nigerian Army, a seasoned school Administrator and a living authority in the teaching of the Doctrines of the Catholic Church.’ And as if nature was in a hurry to help us to complete our background checks on him, he delivered a paper during one of the programs of the Association of Sacred Heart of Jesus and Immaculate Heart of Mary, our dearest Association and from here, we needed no further background checks on him.

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However, by the time I joined the Catholic Men Organization (CMO) of the Parish, I could only have admiration and deep respect for him particularly when he is doing what he knows best, teaching, teaching the Catholic Doctrines with passion and authority.

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He has plenty charisma in him and this always showed in his teachings.

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And as if these were not enough confirmation on our background checks on him, in April 2015, Mr Laurence Alu invited us to the monthly session of Responsible Parenting Advocacy Group (RESPAG) which was to be held in his home on Sunday April 26, 2015 and we did and through this, became members of the Advocacy Group.

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It was here that we finally discovered the man, the true Engr JohnCay Ihejieto. He is a man that is very honest with his words with an excellent spirit and sublime character. He has this staying power and desire, not only as a family man, but as a Teacher in this very admirable, but sensitive vocation of family life with his skill sets and precision.

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He is an authority in family matters!

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Simply put, he is very supportive to the family structure through the ideas of Responsible Parenting Advocacy Group (RESPAG), believing that the problems, challenges and even the successes of the family should always be borne by both the spouses, but not only by one of the partners. In this, he has continued to give us a basic lesson in humility.

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Sincerely, it takes nothing to be humble before God and man. Engr Ihejieto is a living example.

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For the records, Responsible Parenting Advocacy Group (RESPAG) is one of his brain child and he has continued to be a massive Resource Person for its growth.

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Truly, preaching the Word of God by good deeds and carrying out spiritual guidance from the deep knowledge of the Faith, especially through the ideas of Responsible Parenting Advocacy Group (RESPAG) has continued to be his forte.

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As a true soldier, he has continued to fight for God, not with blazing guns, but with his practical life teachings and experiences, for His evangelization mandate, a life of preaching the good news by his own way of life, especially through his modest family life.

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Honestly, it is said that in life, there are things that we cannot just pay for or ever be able to pay for; good advice, good counsel; love, selfless love; etc.

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These things can never be paid for by anyone no matter how much one tries.

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On Thursday, April 11, 2013, coincidentally my birthday, I was interviewed for a role as an HR Business Partners at the Lagos Business School (LBS). It was a desk-to-desk interview and I had just finished with the second Interviewer. On the staircase to the third Interviewer, I ran into him and as he turned, he asked the HR Officer, Mrs Tinuke Bosun-Okusaga who was taking me around for the interview what she was doing with me and she responded that I was been interviewed for a role in Human Resources in the Finance and Management Group and without any hesitation or reservation, he said to her ‘you cannot interview this Guy. I know him so well. Please just give him the job’ and with this very assuring words, he tapped my chest and said ‘Mark, my man, good luck!’

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Those words, spoken so genuinely to me on that day, Thursday, April 11, 2013, the day of my birthday from a man of his calibre, has continued to reverberate in my heart and I can only be grateful for such an encounter through our Faith, the Catholic Faith through the Catholic Church of the Annunciation, Abraham Adesanya Estate, Ajah – Lagos because without these platforms, I may never have been able to associate with him as I am not in his class.

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Sadly, I never got that job, but as a Human Resource Practitioner, I will forever be grateful for such a recommendation. Recently, he humbly asked me ‘what happened to that interview’ because as a man of integrity, he had thought that his on-the-spot recommendation of me would have clinched the job for me instead of the ‘follow up’ mentality in the Nigerian every day context, however it was a question that I could only respond ‘God did not desired or designed that I should work in Lagos Business School (LBS)’ because with such a hefty recommendation, nothing would have stopped me from securing the job, but God.

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Sincerely, I will forever be grateful for such a recommendation from a man of his personality because he knows what such a recommendation means and entails.

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From the records, Engr Ihejieto was appointed as the pioneer Registrar of Pan-African University (now Pan-Atlantic University) in 2002 where he retired in December 2012 after nineteen and half years of solid and meritorious services to one of Nigeria’s best institution of higher academic learning, having joined the Lagos Business School (LBS), the parent body of the Institution in July 1993 as her first Director of Administration and member of the Management Team. He equally served as a member of the University Governing Council.

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Yet he recommended me for a job without any hesitation or reservation.

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Engr Ihejieto is always so kind in and with his words. He is one of my ardent cheerleaders. He always cheers me on in my ‘inadequate’ writings.

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For instance, in commenting on my inadequate piece on ‘Mr Ewaenosa David Osagie-Igiehon: The Music Master!’ on Tuesday, November 16, 2021, he did not disappoint in any way with his usual candour, simplicity and truthfulness when he stated clearly thus ‘Mark, this is a well written piece, an excellent eulogy of admiration and friendship. I must confess, you tested my patience with this long piece, and at a time, half way down the write up, I felt I was being inflicted with the pain of reading through the longest piece ever on WhatsApp with those many ‘read more.’ That is good for the records. You wrote from the heart in expression of your strong attachment and faithfulness to a phenomenon you hold so dear – true friendship. I did not believe I could see through you as easily as this piece portends. Take this from me, ‘you are a gentleman, and a literary giant, a dependable ally to any cause you commit to. Well done Mark, I am proud of you. Dave, you truly deserve all the accolades. Keep it up and well done. Regards.’

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Me, a literary giant? Sincerely, such words could not have been better said than this, from a man who is a living giant in all respect. Simply, I am grateful for such kind words coming from the pen of a great man, a man of deep wisdom as Engr JohnCay Ihejieto.

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Every day, through his lifestyle, we have continued to see a model of humility in him. If anyone should fall into the trap of pride, it is Engr Ihejieto. He is learned. He is experienced. He is comfortable in life, yet he is humble.

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This narrative is found in his ability and capacity and consciousness to be humble.

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Sincerely, it is in the nature of Engr Ihejieto to speak in love and kindness. And he has continued to speak to me in love and kindness.

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Again, on Monday, January 31, 2022 while commenting on the outlines of the RESPAG Monthly Virtual Session (MVS) held on Sunday, January 30, 2022 that I had reported on, he stated thus ‘I cannot resist thanking Mark for his craftsmanship in synthesising the highlights of the Sessions. He does so in a most elegant style, simply presented, and accurately captured, not missing on promptness. I admire your penmanship.’

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Commenting further in response to the comment made by Sir Moses Okonkwo ‘undisputable Mark Markoo. This is brilliant. No wonder you remained mute throughout the meeting. Now I know you were busy cramming the points. You are indeed a gift to us here in RESPAG,’ he stated ‘that is what stands you out in any gathering, that garb of reticence and humility. These are hallmarks of a silent achiever. Mark, I identify you as one.’

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Sincerely, these words, kind words of encouragement and appreciation are hefty words, very heavy words and they mean so much to me and whenever I seem to be weary, I will look up to them and be thankful to God that as little as my contribution is, someone somewhere appreciates it.

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Thank you Daddy Ihejieto for your kind words for me even though they are very heavy for my little heart.

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I am grateful.

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In our lives, it is said that God, in His grace, calls us and gives us certain structures and rhythms to our lives that are meant to help us grow in virtue. We have our prayer times, Mass, and even the demands of our jobs or vocations. And there is a kind of protection in staying faithful to these “guardrails.”

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Reading therefore from ‘Great Strides of JohnCay @70,’ it will give one an insight of who the man JohnCay Ihejieto is truly is.

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He is a man of many beautiful parts.

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Firstly, he is a ‘Soja Man,’ having enrolled into the Nigerian Army through the Nigerian Military School (NMS), Zaria in January 1962, an enrolment that he described as ‘inadvertently,’ but went on to enjoy a fulfilled military career, rising to the rank of a Major where he voluntarily retired in December 1987, having served, meritoriously in different capacities, more than twenty-five (25) years.

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His voluntarily retirement from the Nigerian Army in December 1987 at a time that Military-in-power was in vogue across the Africa land teaches us something very profound. Leaving the stage when the ovation is at its loudest and that is humility.

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By your humility, you will continue to enjoy the beauty of life and may the good Lord continue to grant you the grace to continue to preach true humility.

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He is an accomplished Engineer having studied Electrical and Electronic Engineering from the University of Ile, Ile-Ife (now Obafemi Awolowo University).

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Engr Ihejieto is a thorough bred family man and his deep seated interest is only in family matters, hence he obtained a Master Degree in Marriage and Family Education (MFE) from the University of Catalonia, Spain which has since equipped him to dutifully engage in consulting in Marriage and Family orientation matters and project both at the Church and elsewhere.

He is a seasoned School Administrator and belongs to many Professional Bodies, prominent amongst is the prestigious Nigerian Society of Engineers (NSE).

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Another insightful part of Engr Ihejieto’s life is that of sport. Golf is his forte where he has won several laurels, but generally, he loves the art that is sport because through this, the mind is recreated. However, he does not have a particular football team that he supports for a season, but a winning football team and he is a master when it comes to analysing the beautiful game of football. In fun and simplicity, he exchanges his opinion clearly with candour even with the younger minds and one can never beat him to the fun that he does this, season in, season out.

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He is a ‘Soja’ man, yet he is a gentleman. His sense of punctuality to any event is absolute and unparalleled. This is never compromised, for anything.

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Simply put, his life is essentially of peace, fun and humility, service to God and man.

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Sincerely, reading from ‘Great Strides of JohnCay @70,’ one can see the trajectory of his life very clearly and every person can draw a lot of lessons from his life and time because he is simply a living lesson in life.

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His life, like that of King David, clearly shows us that whom God has blessed, no man can curse especially if he or she remains faithful to God till the end.

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Engr Ihejieto is a blessed man. Recently, he told us the joy in being a grandfather as he welcomes his eight grandchild, proudly and thankfully to God almighty and encouraged us to start preparing for ours because this stage of life is beautiful, thankful to God.

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Truly, without God, we are simply worthless and useless.

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Mrs Gemma Ihejieto is an elegant and adorable woman both by learning and character, morally and spiritually. An enthusiastic lady who is always full of zeal and passion for the work of God. She is forever so cheerful as if the world belongs to her alone, hence she has no challenges of any kind. As the wife of Engr Ihejieto, she has become his true companion and helper and with her right dispositions in her faith in God, she has continued to complement her dutiful husband, admirably.

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While Engr Ihejieto teaches ‘Extended Family and Divorce’ in the Marriage Classes at the Catholic Church of the Annunciation, Abraham Adesanya Estate, Ajah – Lagos, she takes ‘The Introduction to Marriage’ and they have continued to be a marvel in the formation of young families in the society through the Parish.

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What a combination, a beautiful and excellent combination. Sincerely, theirs is a model for every couple, every family. One just need to be around them to learn one thing or the other about love, family life and responsibility.

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They make a perfect couple! They are always at peace with each other, lovingly!

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Sincerely, Christianity is a life of perfect peace with God. And this is the mantra of their family. And they have continued to exhibit this, both privately and publicly to the admiration of all. They are a peaceful couple!

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As we celebrate yet another St Valentine’s Day on this day, Monday, February 14, 2022, ‘the virtue of gratitude acknowledges the goodness of God in our lives. We must therefore learn to be grateful to God and to man for any help rendered.’

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So on this day, Monday, February 14, 2022 that we celebrate yet another St Valentine’s Day, I celebrate this family, this humble family of Ihejieto because God is with them.

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I celebrate this family because of their uncommon interest in others.

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I celebrate them on this day because of their practical living examples of how family life should be lived.

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I celebrate their goodness, kindness and compassion for others, especially for my family.

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Simply, I celebrate them. I celebrate their commitment to God.

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Sincerely, sometimes, our walk with the Lord confuses people who are unable to understand our values and why we do what we do. Engr Ihejieto’s commitment to God’s work has continued to be incomprehensible to many of us because when it comes to God’s work and others, he would always choose God’s work first and last.

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His commitment to God is absolute, total and true.

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On this day and always, may the inexhaustible riches in God’s mercy continue to beautify your hearts. Amen. And may your family continue to witness to it truly and sincerely. Amen.

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As you have continued to admonish us, especially as parents that the greatest reverence for God’s word is not just to read it, but to live it out through our good deeds because through this, we become true living witnesses to the message of God as contained in the Bible and through it, helping to build up the Body of Christ through our families, may our good Lord through the constant intercession of our Mother Mary continue to grant you the wisdom that you need in this assignment. And may you continue to lead your own family in a devout way.

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And as we thank God for the gift of His love to us through St Valentine on this day, Monday, February 14, 2022, on behalf of my family, I thank you for allowing this gift, the gift of love to reach us from the beauty of the heart of your family.

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Happy St Valentine’s Day to you and the entire Ihejieto’s Dynasty.

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God bless you and your most amazing family, now and always.

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Gracias!

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Na we

Your family

Mr Mark & Mrs Racheal Osabomeh

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Monday, February 14, 2022

The Feast of St Valentine