The Engaging Leader

What is an Engaging Leadership Style?

Engaging leaders go beyond asking for feedback on their own ideas. They use engaging questions to draw ideas out of others by stating a problem and asking “What do you think?” This leadership style is not merely open to feedback or even to asking for feedback on your own ideas. When leaders state their views first, the team may feel limited to saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to their boss’s idea.

Engaging leadership is a bit like active listening but more proactive. Active listening is reactive in that you are just responding to someone’s comment with questions to help them express themselves more fully. Engaging leadership uses questions to get people to come up with new ideas that may not have occurred to them otherwise.

Advantages of an Engaging Leadership Style

1. Potentially better solutions
2. Broader ownership of plans and decisions
3. Greater engagement and empowerment of all involved in devising solutions
4. Increased motivation and commitment to an action plan
5. Showing that you value people by asking them for their opinions
6. Greater team spirit created by fuller involvement in solving problems
7. Helping people grow by acting as a coach

Sample Engaging Leadership Questions

• What do you think we can do to work more as a team?
• How can we solve this problem in a way that is really innovative?
• What do you think we can do to collaborate better with other teams?
• How can we approach our work in a more strategic manner?
• How can you show that you are a star performer, ready for advancement?

Selling an Engaging Leadership Style

Bosses who see themselves as having all the answers disempower team members who often know more than their boss. Their motivation is greater if they feel their views are valued. An engaging leadership style is best sold to team members by explaining how it’s in their interest to be more involved in decisions. It will empower and develop them and help them feel a greater share of ownership and commitment to any decisions made. When bosses tell their team members their solutions, it’s like feeding them fish while asking them what they think is teaching them to fish.

It’s essential to explain to teams that asking what they think is not due to your lack of knowledge but a different, more empowering and developmental leadership style. You could also say that when you offer your own solutions, you’re operating as an individual contributor but when you use a facilitative style, you’re acting as a leader because your focus is on getting more out of people. In the old days, “getting work done through people” meant simply delegating tasks. Now, in an age of knowledge work, this focus needs to be balanced by tapping into people’s brain power to “get mental work done through people.”

Applications of Engaging Leadership

Delegation

Directive leaders tell team members in detail what needs to be done when the risks of getting it wrong are high. Engaging leaders state the objective to be achieved then ask engaging questions such as: “What would be your plan for getting this done?” “What steps would you take?” What obstacles do you anticipate?” “How would you get around these obstacles?” What risks are there and how would you mitigate them? Two advantages of this approach: 1. The team member owns the plan and is thus more motivated to deliver on it. 2. You learn in advance if the team member is going to take a wrong turn.

Let’s say that the team member lists the steps to be taken as A, B, C, D… But you know that step D will not work. Say something positive about the first three steps and then ask an engaging question such as: “If you do step D and x, y or z problems arise, then what would you do?” If the team member can’t think of a better option to D, again stay in engaging mode by asking “What about a step such as E, instead of D, how do you think that would work?” That is, you’re making your suggestion in the form of an engaging question. This is more motivational and empowering than saying “D won’t work, do E instead.” Switching to telling is quicker but it fosters dependency on you as the ultimate know-it-all. This is self-defeating if you want to really get more done through others (mental work).

Solving Problems and Making Decisions

In team meetings, directive leaders suggest their own solutions and then (maybe) ask their team members what they think of their plan. A more engaging style is to pose the problem, without stating your ideas, and then ask engaging questions such as:

• What do you think are some possible solutions to this problem?
• What do you think is the best solution?
• What are the pros and cons of this solution?
• How will this solution impact other things we’re doing or other teams?
• What obstacles do you see and how might we get around them?
• Who do you think we should involve and how might we get them on board?
• How can we be really creative about this?

Notice that these questions ask for solutions not information. They are not analytical questions, the sort that conventional bosses might ask so they can solve the problem themselves.

Performance Reviews

Performance reviews are too top-down. Team members are in a passive role expecting to be clobbered for all their failings. This creates defensiveness, blaming and poor ownership of mistakes.

A more engaging style starts with asking team members to do most of the talking, covering 3 topics:

1.?????? The things you are most proud of that you have completed or progressed since last time

2.?????? Which things you feel could have gone better

3.?????? What you plan to do in future to avoid the issues in your second list

You can add to these 3 lists. For the second list, ask another engaging question: “What do you feel could have gone better with project X? A focus on what they did well first helps the team member relax and realize that performance appraisal is not all about failings. It gives them a chance to celebrate their successes, which is more motivational than just discussing setbacks.

?For any performance shortcoming, the key engaging question is “What could you do differently?” This question fosters accountability, ownership and a greater sense of accomplishment, hence motivation.

Blame Avoidance

When team members say they didn’t get something done because a colleague didn’t finish their part in time, you have an opportunity to foster accountability by asking: “How could you have avoided that setback?” You might explain to them that it always feels better if we challenge ourselves by asking this question: “What could I have done differently?” When we place blame, we disempower ourselves and that doesn’t feel very good. It’s more solution-focused and a sign of accepting accountability to challenge ourselves by asking what we could have done to have avoided any setback. Placing blame is a dead-end.

Career Advancement

The following engaging questions can be used for team members with good or subpar performance:

• What can you do to show that you’re ready for promotion?
• How can you differentiate yourself to show that you are a star performer?
• What strengths do you have that you can build on or play to more?
• What development needs can you address and how can you do it?
• What can you do differently or become better at?
• How can you step up and show some leadership?
• What opportunities do you see for improving things around here?
• What kinds of work would you like to do more of?
• What kinds of things would you like to learn more about?
• How can you learn and advance yourself by volunteering for projects?
• Who can you learn from about other lines of work?

Engaging questions get people thinking and making decisions for themselves. The leader is acting as a coach rather than as a parent with this style. People will feel a greater sense of satisfaction and achievement if they develop their own plans and make their own decisions.

Strategy Development and Innovation

Leaders sometimes get feedback that strategic or innovative thinking, for example, are not among their strengths. Because they are thinking as individual contributors with answers to offer, not as facilitators, they think they have to become more strategic or innovative themselves.

Using an engaging leadership style, leaders can facilitate meetings on strategy or innovation instead of developing these skills in themselves. They can ask everyone to come to a meeting with new strategic or innovative ideas to discuss as a team. This can be done with direct reports or same-level peers.

Challenging Colleagues

In a meeting where a colleague is proposing a course of action, you might have nothing to say if you don’t know enough about the topic to offer a better solution. This is because you’re wearing a solution generator’s hat instead of a facilitator’s one. With an engaging style, there are always two questions you can ask, even if you know little about the topic or don’t have a strong view about it:

1.?????? What other options are there?

2.?????? What are the downsides, risks, costs or broader implications of your idea?

To minimize defensiveness, you might start by saying what you like about your colleague’s proposal before asking one of these questions. It is nearly always possible to ask such questions because most people proposing a course of action will usually only talk about their preferred option and only about its advantages, not the downsides. Wearing a facilitator’s hat, you can broaden the discussion by asking what others in the meeting see as the pros and cons of the proposal or what other options they see.

Influencing Your Boss

If something isn’t working, it can be risky to say so to your boss. Some bosses can feel threatened by a suggestion that they have missed something important. You can use engaging questions to create a greater sense of shared ownership with your boss:

• What do you think we could do to make this process more efficient?
• What do you feel is working and not working?
• What changes do you think we could make?
• What options do you see and which one offers the most benefits?
• What do you think of option X? (your suggestion)

Begin by asking your boss for suggestions with “What do you think?” questions. Then offer your suggestion, again in a similar engaging (What do you think?) format so that your boss sees you as asking for suggestions. This way you aren’t showing up your boss but still getting your point across. This is a good way of being assertive without being confrontational.

Pacifying Angry Clients

When clients say they are unhappy with something we’re doing or advocating, it’s tempting to become defensive and argue with them to show how they’re wrong. However, a factual misunderstanding is often easily corrected by a clear explanation. But an engaging style is often better received where you ask the second most valuable engaging question, besides “What do you think?” This question is “What do you want?” Examples include:

• What would you like to see happen?
• What would be your preferred option?
• What are your top priorities?
• What do you see as the advantages of our idea for you?
• How can we adapt our proposal to better meet your needs?
• How can you help us improve our work so it is closer to what you want?

You might not need to change your offering radically. Just showing that you’re prepared to listen and are open to client suggestions could calm your client down and induce them to be more open to your ideas. Sometimes people object just because they’re annoyed at not being involved or consulted in the development of the plan.

As they calm down and appreciate that you are listening, you can make new suggestions in the form of “What do you think?” questions:

·?????? How would X work for you?

·?????? If we changed Y, how much better would that be for you?

Adopting an engaging leadership stye does not mean always being engaging. In crisis situations or when only you know what needs to be done or when shared ownership of a decision is not essential, you can make decisions yourself and be directive. It’s a matter of being strategic about yourself: asking yourself how you can add most value now or what is the best approach in a given situation. If you use an engaging leadership style most of the time, you’re gaining permission to be directive when the situation calls for it.

?An engaging style is most valuable where you need shared ownership of a decision, when you want to influence difficult colleagues or when you want to develop and motivate your team. The key is being able to recognize your normal way of working and when to switch to an engaging style. A clue to your preferred style is noticing whether you ask only analytical questions such as what happened, when, how many. When you ask analytical questions, you’re acting as an individual contributor, one who happens to have authority.

Asking engaging questions shows leadership because it enables you to get more out of people. You’re engaging their brains not just their ability to do things.