Engage or Disengage? That is the Question.

Challenging conversations among coworkers, friends, and family members need special considerations to not only preserve the quality?of the type of relationship but also the mental wellness?of those involved. Today’s sociopolitical conditions are emotionally charged for most of us. We know that emotions can hinder effective communication. Today’s blog is about how to ENGAGE & DISENGAGE with intentionality to reduce stress and maintain your integrity.

In general, it is important to set boundaries around when?to have conversations about the Israel-Hamas War. We need to honor ourselves by protecting our mental and emotional energy. Be self-aware of signs or symptoms that you need to limit talk around what is happening. ?Do you have physical symptoms of stress, such as headaches, digestive issues, IBS, back or neck pain, ringing in your ears, sleeplessness? Are you more irritable or weepy? Are you struggling to focus on your work? If any of these are true for you, it is more important to exercise healthy control around these conversations.

Give yourself permission to say any of the following (in my words or your own!) to disengage from too much or too distressing conversation:?

• ?“I want to hear your thoughts, so I need to make time with you tomorrow” (or later or over the weekend or whatever feels right to you).?
• “Let’s talk about this when we can both be free to feel what we need to.”?
• “With respect to you and the severity of this situation, let’s find a better time and place to talk.”?

Healthy boundaries also include how to participate in these hard conversations. Non-aggressive, compassionate tones allow for the honoring of both you and the other (s) involved. Whether you are engaged with similar or opposing thoughts with the other (s), neurolinguistic science shows that when we use aggressive language, we reinforce the fight or flight response in the brain. Cortisol spikes. This holds true with people sharing in fears. We need to reduce the cortisol levels in our brain (and gut) in order to have the best impact in every aspect of our lives. While we surely need to connect with others around our distress for support, try to conclude?emotionally charged discussions with a focus on what you or others can/are doing to help either in the moment, a situation, or in larger ways.?

Another way to engage in these kinds of conversations when there are differences of opinion is to focus on why this is important to you and people whom you care about rather than debating around specific issues or events. When we do this, we share our truth. We reduce stress around the subject because what we are talking about is not debatable. We add meaningful context to what is happening. In fact, in any of our relationships, talking about why something matters to us personally is one of the best ways to help others expand their own thinking, foster empathy, and shift choices.

There are important?times, places, and people to engage in debates with on sociopolitical concerns of the day. These strategies are offered to you so that you can safeguard your mental and emotional energy so we can move forward well.

If your company could use support with managing the corporate environment and/or employee wellness right now, we can help you with corporate communications, virtual or in-person presentations and/or support groups, and 1:1 coaching. We have strategies for managing internal and external stress in the face of unprecedented experiences.

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