Engage Brain: Self-reflection on mental health lessons for #leaders from Will Smith

Nadia Bilchiks’s Amygdala Hijack! Will Smith & You video reminded me of the phrase that used to have us in stitches with laughter, "Engage brain". ??

One of our hilarious lecturers in Project Management at the Gordon Institute of Business Science (GIBS), used to say, “Engage brain” to us if she thought we were not reasoning at our best. Under those circumstances, it was in light moments, but not in the situation that Nadia Bilchik was highlighting in respect to Will Smith at the 94th Academy Awards ceremony, 28 March 2022, popularly known as the Oscars.

An amygdala hijack can painful to behold. The Will Smith slapping Chris Rock incident and the screaming from his seat, was an excruciating, reflective moment that there are no shortcuts to becoming an emotionally, mentally healthy and a self-actualised human being. Outside of the narrative about protecting Jada Pinkett Smith’s dignity, her pain of living with alopecia areata and the complex feelings and experiences Black women have about their hair as a reason for the assault. If you have followed Will Smith’s own struggles, which he also recently revealed in book, about loving his father, but simultaneously resenting him for physically abusing his mother. He also shared that he contemplated killing his father once.

Childhood is a time of security – being protected and loved. Having stability in knowing you are protected by your family allows you to form solid and safe relationships later in life. Childhood traumas create a tenuous foundation for the individual for the rest of their lives which they must work on to break the cycle and forgive themselves for childhood inaction which have plagued Will Smith all his life because of his not being able to protect his mother as a young child. Will Smith has striven to create a loving environment for his family and his actions up to this 53rd year on earth has really been inspirational when you appreciate his childhood experiences.

I am glad that there are individuals who are highlighting the mental health issue of this narrative which should inspire all of us to self-reflect. Emmaneul Acho captures the reason I have appealed for Compassion and Grace with regards to Will Smith. Each moment of any human's life is an accumulation of many moments which make sense of a "Why" that is nonsensical and out of 'character' (https://youtu.be/hXkDZXmUL98). Will Smith's behaviour was out of sync with his very disciplined character. His own mother has expressed shock at the same.

I did Psychology up to my junior degree level, but even I know that childhood traumas must be tackled. They show up in positive ways when they fuel ambition and drive that make individuals successful. However, in a triggering moment, when you lack emotional fortitude and mental clarity, all the moments that have been suppressed and repressed can destroy our personal brand and reputation that took a lifetime to build.

Therefore, I have so much Grace and Compassion for Will Smith. There is no one berating himself for his reaction more than himself. It is so painful ?? to know and see how all the childhood traumas which I thought was brought into rawness with the book and recent public discussions about his love life with his wife following the Red Table Talk about an ‘entanglement’ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjL5wrGhqoU) she had, compounded by, I am guessing, sheer exhaustion and anxiety from the campaign he has been on to promote King Richard. Yoh! Putting myself in a space where my diary is hectic, life is conspiring with every challenge conceivable and exhaustion. One’s emotional fuse is on heighted alert. An innocuous incident can cause you to snap. Not on a global stage. But our loved ones feel it.

I hope he gets counselling. A tough and painful journey ahead. I hope we are all inspired to look inward and to work at healing our own childhood traumas that we may be masking with our own professional successes and drive. Success that is fuelled by healthy emotions, is most likely to flourish and not be tripped up by what life and people throw at us. As Denzel Washington told Will Smith, "The Devil comes for you at your highest moment". Or if you you'd rather, "It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently", said Warren Buffet.

Work on yourself and your inside, before the outside works on you. It starts from within. Thank you for the reminder, Nadia Bilchik.