Energy In the System

I love the simplicity of what my uncle said. "There is now more energy in the system then there was before. A system with high energy, has high volatility." Growing up we weren't allowed to learn about the nuance of physical systems and the environment. It wasn't conducive to community. I need simple physics to keep me grounded amidst the complexity of life.

Over a decade ago I was returning from an excruciating field trip in central Nepal. We had to carry all our research equipment into a remote community. There was no electricity and many kids in the community had never seen a foreigner before. The two week period around that trip moved me so deeply, I am still processing the trauma and transformation it brought to my life. How can the heart dream to stretch and hold love halfway around the world?

The Landslide

We conducted field work on the precipice of a gargantuan landslide. Decades before a third of the farmland had washed away overnight. Without knowing it; human hard work had been destabilizing an already precarious geological formation. Rows upon rows of forestland converted to fields had increased the risk of soil washing away; and then one day it was gone. The trauma forced hundreds of families to move into the far corner of the country. Our research traced the transition of that community, and chose that area as an epicenter of language development initiatives for the community.

The Body

Four hours into the 10-hour hike to the village, my knee was throbbing. Weeks before I had injured myself cycling. Without knowing it; my hard work cycling up hills (with clipped shoes), had torn ligaments along my leg. I remember forcing myself on the bike, how powerful it felt to work up the hill with determination, until the stabbing pain shot up my leg. I thought it was short-term, but weeks later on the hike I met an injury that would define my physical experience for several years. There was no option out. I had to hike in, and I had to hike out. My team was incredible at supporting as best they could, but the pain was excruciating. To make it worse, I had developed itching across my body. Without knowing it; the multivitamins I took on fieldwork contained a chemical I was allergic to. I'm so grateful to my friend Dhan Tamang who walked the path back with me slowly hobbling along, doing everything I could to avoid bending my knees--as we moved 3,000 feet in elevation.

The Energy

After the trip I had promised a friend that I would visit his village for the biggest Hindu festival of the year. At the time I was a devout Christian; who had grown up reading stories of pagan festivals and idol worship. I was expecting a dark, oppressive energy, and almost canceled my time with him. He promised to be supportive, and something in me would not quit. Over several days his family and community helped me rebuild my energy in a way I couldn't have imagined. In the afternoons I would sit and read The Brothers Karazmov by Doshtoevsky, in the evenings we would play cards over tea, and in the mornings we would trapse around the village feasting on that day's sacrifice. It restored my energy in the way I least expected. I found community where I thought I would find coldness. I felt love where I least expected it.

Without Knowing It

Humans have exponentially increased energy in our environment over a very shorty period of time. We have been working hard, to win a billion different games, and increased the energy of our entire planet. Energy isn't a bad thing, but we need to know what we're doing with it. Right now we don't. We need to be better.