The Enduring Influence of My Mother

In the tapestry of my life, Phyllis Taylor, a petite figure at 5' 3'', shaped the man I have become. ?She was a genuinely resilient person. The early story of her life was filled with sadness, misfortune, and many twists and turns.? Her parents died young. Her mother had dementia, and after her death, my mum told me, she would routinely come home to find her dad with his head in the gas oven because he didn’t want to go on with his wife.

When he passed away, her aunt made her homeless and swindled her out of her inheritance.??Then she met my dad, and her new family reshaped her life. She looked after all of us so well, often sacrificing her needs for ours.??As a child, I just accepted all of her giving as normal.?

My dad adhered to traditional values, but unfortunately, those values included misguided beliefs of misogyny. He held onto a patriarchal mindset, selfishly asserting his dominance and control over his domain.??This included giving my mother a paltry amount of money to “keep the house”, as he called it.?

She didn’t confront him. Instead, she developed an unwavering work ethic. She often had 3 or 4 jobs on the go at any one time.??She was the dinner lady at our primary school, a home-help to a couple of pensioners, a dressmaker, a night shift cleaner at the squash club and a manager at our local laundrette, to name but a few.??

Mum embodied the essence of a hardworking woman. Juggling multiple jobs with grace and determination, she dedicated herself to providing for our needs. Her tireless pursuit to?make ends meet?showed me the value of perseverance and instilled in me the belief that remarkable achievements are born from dedicated effort.

One of my mother's most captivating qualities was her exceptional ability to listen. People naturally gravitated towards her, seeking solace, guidance, and support. Despite the weight of her own responsibilities, Mum possessed an innate empathy that made her a reliable pillar of strength for those around her. Her selflessness in offering a compassionate ear and heartfelt advice shaped me into a more understanding and caring individual. Bearing witness to her genuine care for others taught me the immeasurable power of presence and the profound impact we can have by extending our support during life's most challenging moments.

To relax, my mum read books. She was an avid reader; she loved stories where the heroine would eventually prevail. I think the books gave her the strength to deal with her challenges.

Despite being a source of unwavering support for me and my brothers, my mother often held herself to incredibly high standards, plagued by self-doubt. ?This led to a breakdown, she was hospitalised, and we didn’t really appreciate how ill she was; back then, it was never discussed with children.

For the rest of her life, she battled with depression, and even though she suffered, she constantly reminded us that we possessed the ability to achieve anything we set our minds to. Her personal struggles taught me the virtue of humility and the importance of courage. Through her example, she showed me the significance of embracing our vulnerabilities and surpassing the limits we impose on ourselves.

Phyllis Taylor, my mum, was a beacon of warmth and kindness. Her acceptance of others knew no bounds. She created a place we called home, a unique world with a magic fridge that we all had to look inside every time we entered her kitchen.? A place where love and understanding flourished and fresh homemade cakes could be found every Sunday.

Her generosity of spirit has profoundly influenced how I engage with the world, reminding me of the transformative power of empathy, acceptance, and the simplest acts of kindness. As I reflect upon my career, I am acutely aware that my mother's influence surpasses mere words. Her unwavering dedication, profound wisdom, and boundless love have left an indelible impression on my heart.??Her example may have led to me becoming a coach.??All those people that sat on her sofa with a cup of tea and homemade cake were being coached and guided by her wisdom.?

Today, I strive to embody the extraordinary qualities that made my mother the remarkable woman she was. I endeavour to emulate her unwavering work ethic, extend a compassionate ear to those in need, pursue success with an unyielding commitment to my children and cultivate a heart open to the diversity and beauty of humanity.?

Phyllis Taylor, my mother, mentor, and cherished best friend, will forever be the guiding light illuminating my life's journey, and her enduring legacy will inspire me as I navigate the world with grace, resilience, and love.

God bless her; I miss her every day. She was A Shining Example of Strength, Kindness, and Compassion.