The End

The End

Previous part - Ego

"Sakiv, Sakiv", I hear my name in a faint voice. Someone is shaking me. It was Anka.

"Oh sorry, I spaced out for a minute. I will brush Nogah and Qadis now", I said. While Anka supported all the kids' chores, I always brushed their teeth at night.

"What are you talking about? I just came back from dropping them to school", Anka said.

"School, at night?", I was confused.

"It's 10 in the morning and your phone has been ringing constantly. It's Aaron. I think there is something urgent at work.", Anka said.

I have been sitting here for 13 hours. I remember having this wonderful experience of oneness with the universe but lost 13 hour of time since then. As I was pulled back from alternate universe, I decided to get ready and go to work. I was in no hurry and took my time to get ready.

I reached office and went to Aaron's office. I saw Carlos there, who seemed upset.

"Here comes your boy", Carlos said with anger and sarcasm.

"How can I help?", I asked.

"Is it true?", Aaron asked.

"What?", I replied with my own question.

"That you are provoking Carlos' team to rebel against him.", Aaron asked.

"I have talked to some members of his team but we discussed nothing about Carlos.", I replied.

"Well Shiva and Adnan are leaving the team. It cannot be a coincident. Now you listen to me. I own this team and I will not let you try to take it away from me by playing politics.", Carlos was seething with anger.

"You don't even own your life, let alone all those people.", I replied.

"Aaron this is exactly what I am talking about. Your boy has no responsibility, doesn't understand the critical phase of delivery we are in or how many careers are at stake here. You have got to reel him in or I quit right here right now.", Carlos barked

"Carlos, enough", Aaron goes to the corner of his office, picks up a box and hands over to me. "Sakiv, take this box and collect your things in the box. Then go home. Debbie will take care of your stuff.", Aaron said.

"That's it?" I asked.

"That's it", Aaron said with a stern expression on his face.

I took a glace at Carlos. I could see a satisfactory smile on his face.

"That's right. Go on", Carlos said as I was leaving.

"That's enough Carlos", Aaron said and shut the door behind my back.


As I was walking back home, I felt nothing. Why am I not feeling anything. Shouldn't I feel shame for getting fired? Shouldn't I feel unworthy? Why was that I not feeling those feelings? Am I in a shock? Have I not realized what just happened? What is happening to me? Then I felt a gust of wind on my face and I dropped those thoughts and enjoyed the breeze. I saw geese protecting their chicks from people passing by and kids running around in water fountain by the Lake Union. For the first time the world just seemed to make sense to me, just when I stopped grasping for meaning.

Anka seemed surprised to see me.

"It seemed like an emergency in the morning and you are back so soon from work?.", she asked.

"Well the emergency was that they really needed to fire me right away.", I replied

"Well could they not have done that over the phone?", Anka asked with a smile.

"Probably legal reasons", as we both laughed.

I was surprised to see  how well Anka took this. I guess she was just happy to have her husband back. I have been gone for a long time as my work consumed me. Every waking hour was about making some plan or solving some problem. Now I have just been present with all my faculty for her and kids.

As Anka goes off to pick up kids, I pick up my copy of 'Tao Te Ching' which has been collecting dust for a while. It was a pleasure reading it after almost a year. After a long time I enjoyed seeing sun set behind the mountains from my patio. As I was making my way in, my phone rang. It was Aaron. I picked up the phone. "Come outside", said Aaron in his authoritative voice. I went out and his driver opened the rear door of his limo.

"Get inside", Aaron said.

"What's up", I asked as I made my way into the car.

"I feel bad about what happened today.", Aaron said

"I don't and  you shouldn’t either. I understand it's strictly business, nothing personal", I said.

"I am relieved that you understand. I do care about you and wanted to set you up at a good place", Aaron said

"I am already at a good place", I replied.

"I don't want you to be sore. I wanted to show you the options. Take a ride with me", Aaron said.

"I am sorry I don't want you to worry about me. I am not sore about anything. If anything I am relieved. I would have left Nile anyways if you had not hired me.", I replied.

"Then please do it for me?", Aaron pleaded

I had always looked up to Aaron in our fifteen years of history together.

"All right", I replied.

It was a short drive and we didn't exchange a single word during the drive. The car stopped at Nile's office.

"lets grab your stuff while we are here", Aaron said.

I followed him and we entered his office and at his desk in a box was my stuff. Some family pictures and a small Buddha statue.

As I walked to pick up the box Aaron stopped me.

"Welcome to your new office", Aaron said.

"What are you talking about", I asked

"I want you to take over the division", Aaron said

"Why? I thought it was your baby, your life's mission", I asked.

"That's right kiddo but I have run out of time", Aaron said with a smile.

"You know why I started this division? Three years ago, I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I went through round of chemo and radiation and went in remission. At that time I talked with Stan to create the health and life sciences division. I knew my time was limited so I wanted to give my best for whatever time I had left. About two months ago I found out that my cancer is back with a vengeance. Doctors gave me 6 months. I wanted someone who would give this project the same care as I have. I wanted someone who would jump on the grenade. I wanted someone who could solve problem without constraints holding them back. There was only one name that came to my mind - your. All this was to prepare you for the role. Today I want to hand this over to you and make my peace with the world", Aaron said.

I was sad to hear about Aaron's health but then let that thought pass. The feeling of sadness passed and was overtaken by compassion.

"Are you thinking about Carlos? I fired his ass as soon as you left. He is not going to be a problem. You make this division in your image.", Aaron said.

I wanted to say something but I was running out of words.

"So? What do you say?", Aaron asked nervously

"I am sorry but I must respectfully decline", I replied

"May I ask why?", Aaron said as his face became stern.

"I made that decision during exploration in your team. I don't want it. I don't need any of this.", I replied

"Then please do it for me", Aaron asked

"I am sorry, I can't do this. Not even for you. I realized that It is more noble to give yourself completely to one individual than to labor diligently for the salvation of the masses. I want to give myself completely to my children.", I replied.

I picked my box and walked out. As I was exiting the building, I saw Rojas.

"I heard you got fired today", Rojas asked with a little schadenfreude expression on his face.

"Yes I did.", I smiled and walked on.

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