End of Life Planning

End of life planning and decisions
 
     Being faced with end of life decisions in the midst of an unexpected health crisis is overwhelming both emotionally and physically.  Sometimes, even if we have had conversations with a loved one regarding what their wishes are in such situations, the details can escape us when emotions are running high. There are important things that can be done to make this time less stressful.

Plan ahead. You can begin by creating advanced directives. Your primary provider will likely ask you if you have advanced directives or a living will in place. He or she can help guide you through this process or you can hire an attorney if you feel there are complex details to be addressed.  You can create your own advanced directives at  www.honoringchoices.org

Listen. If you are helping a loved one make end of life decisions while battling a terminal illness, let them take the lead in sharing their thoughts when they are ready.  This can be an especially difficult time and their wishes may even be in opposition to how you would like things to be carried out but patience and respect are essential.  Things to be considered in addition to standard advanced directives are things such as how hospice care will be handled if needed. Hospice can be provided in the hospital, in an independent hospice center or at home. Providing hospice care at home sometimes isn't considered because there are details to be attended to such as, choosing a home health company to provide nursing services, obtaining the necessary medical equipment and coordinating family support. Home hospice is certainly a reasonable option and can be done with some pre-planning and research.  There are helpful resources for caregivers at www.hospicenet.org

Ask for help. If you feel it is necessary, choose a health advocate or proxy who won’t be influenced by emotion when difficult decisions need to be carried out.  It is not uncommon for emotional family members to implement changes to their loved ones end of life plan simply because they aren’t ready to let go when the time comes.  It can even ease the stress on a loved one and give them time to say good bye and process their emotions if they aren’t also in the roll of making decisions with healthcare teams. A trusted friend or health professional may be willing to take on the responsibility of supporting your well thought out wishes at this difficult time.  Have these important conversations well before the need arises.

Some resources that can help guide you through the process are:

The Conversation: A Revolutionary Plan for End of Life Care by Angelo Volandes

Final Gifts: Understanding Special Awareness, Needs and Communication of the Dying.  by Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley

Hospice Whisperers; Stories of Life by Carla Cheatham

The alska platform is also a great tool to keep everyone connected and save time so you can stay focused on the time you have remaining with your loved one.  It is also a place to securely store important documents like advanced directives, estate plans and other health information. 

Michelle Chaffee  President & Founder of alska