End The Blame Game Today - And You Win!

Before you read this, I need to caution you first. This is not your average article. It may be confronting.

It’s more of a coaching process than an article. If you follow its instructions, you will discover what’s stopping you from achieving your goals or dreams. If you’ve been playing small or avoiding your next logical step, it may just give you the answer why. So yes, it’s asking more of you than the average article, though I hope it will give you more too. Are you willing to proceed?

If you would like a huge breakthrough ― one that massively accelerates your career or business? Then go ahead right now, grab a pen and paper and list the first three things that spring to mind that are stopping you from rising to your highest calling or being the best you could be…

Go ahead. I’ll wait for you here…

Good! Now if you did exactly what I asked, we have effectively created a coaching partnership and all is possible when you become a willing client. You’re doing well so far…

Now, the next thing to do is look at your list and count the number of things that you think are outside of your control. Is it one, two or all three? These of course are not outside of your control. Instead they’re perceived outside influences that you may well have blamed for your non-achievements.

Now I know this might sound harsh and I’m not wishing to insult you, but more-so, get you focused on the mindset that will deliver your greatest breakthrough.

You see, if you had listed as one of the things that have stopped you any on the list below, I would like to challenge you. Your friends won’t. Your team will never do it, but your coach can…

1.     Your environment? You can change your environment!

2.     Your superiors, staff or colleagues? You can choose who you work with or how you work with them or your attitude toward them? You have more control than you think.

3.     The economy or the climate? Successful people are good at anticipating or forecasting a shift and adjust their approach like a good sailor will!

4.     Your lack of time? Everyone has 24 hours a day and 7 days a week; you, me and the richest and poorest of people. But those successful few, manage time like it was the only limited resource in the world; because it is.

5.     Your limited funds or budget? If you want more, plan for more, study for more, work for more or negotiate for more or switch jobs or get creative! Funds are only limited by a lack of resourcefulness.

6.     Anything else? I bet you now that you understand where I’m coming from you even realise that you are in actually in control of all of it!

The reasons that we make up in our minds about what is stopping us are typically the very reasons that we have not achieved and they can be summed up in one word ― blame. To succeed we must get out of the blame mindset.

Any time you blame external influences, you provide reasons to do nothing about them. After all, they’re not your fault. While reasons get results, equally there are reasons for non-results. So here’s the breakthrough…

Reasons Get Results!

The moment you take full-responsibility for where you are right now, is the moment that you reclaim your power to influence your life, your career, your relationships, you take everything back into your hands ― and, you can do something about it.

Though taking responsibility for one’s entire life and outcomes is not easy to do. As an executive coach, I assure you it takes some courage to own up to your entire life. While you might be thinking right now, “Yes, but R!k, I’ve been working really hard, doing everything I do to get results!” But our minds can justify, rationalise, quantify and qualify anything that serves our patterns and our behaviour. That may well be the lie that you’ve been telling yourself for years ― and it’s getting you these results. It’s a beLIEf! And by the way, working hard never guarantees results, but working with the right mindset does.

But sticking to that old belief means you never have to do anything about the situation or your anything to improve your mindset. You can continue to blame. Convenient huh!

There is nothing truer than the fact that we humans like our patterns and we’re typically lazy. Yes, even those guys that look like they’re working hard ― or at least they beLIEve they are. If we can find a faster or a quicker way, we’ll likely choose it. If we’re given an ‘out,’ we’ll likely take it. While we all know that when he hear the words, ‘rich’ and ‘quick’ in the same sentence we should run for the hills. But why is it that so many people still fall for those scams? One word; lazy.

We’ll skip steps if we can get away with it, yet success requires us to take specific steps. All of them. Whenever we experience pain or issues, it’s because we skipped a step. If we get sick, it’s usually because we skipped the eat well step or the remain calm step and instead allowed ourselves to get stressed. If our marriage is on the rocks, it’s likely we’ve missed our partners love language and haven’t served them in quite some time. Jump a step and you might just trip yourself up or worse…

Skipping Steps is Where Success Trips Up

The other day, I was working with a client who wanted to double her business turnover. A brilliantly big brief for a coach. An exciting one for me. However, the first thing that we needed to resolve was blame. She blamed her non-success on the market shifting, but the truth is she missed a step. She didn’t shift with it. While she stuck to her story and remained in blame, she wasn’t prepared to do anything about it. Again, (in her mind) it wasn’t her fault.

The very reason that she wasn’t where she wanted to be financially is because she was skipping steps. She missed another critical step. In business, we must determine our promise. What do you promise to deliver to your customers or clients. Once you’ve worked that one out and worded it well, all your messages and marketing can now hang off that promise. Here’s another step that you can add to take your business to a much bigger market… Make a BIGGER promise!

If You Want a BIGGER Business, Make a BIGGER Promise!

I asked her what her promise was and she gave me a bunch of corporate jargon bundled in a sentence. It wasn’t appealing, magnetic or even sexy. In truth, she didn’t have one. She just made one up on the spot. Until she removed blame, took ownership of this step and full responsibility for her results, we couldn’t even start to meet her goal.

I find coaching one of the simplest careers I’ve ever enjoyed, however it’s not always easy. Though it’s just four steps.

Step one: Help your client get clear about what they want, specifically.

Step two: Then identify where they are now, realistically. This is 101 Gap Analysis!

Step three: Build a strategic plan with specific steps.

Step four: And finally determine what is stopping them from taking one or any of the steps and remove the mindset barriers.

Coaching is Four Steps

I promise you, that when you take full responsibility for your results and get a coach to help you to get clear about your goals and remove your self-sabotage and blame patterns, your world will have a new golden sheen to it.

Success wants to find its home. The success that is waiting for you is impatient. If you don’t do what you need to, it will find someone who will. Though I know you’ve got what it takes to take full responsibility and follow each necessary step. You can do it. You know you can.

R!k Schnabel, is a Coach, multi-best-selling author and accredited teacher of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Life Coaching with Life Beyond Limits. If it’s time to get a new coach, you can chat with R!k about coaching: https://lifebeyondlimits.com.au/rik-schnabel-the-brain-untrainer/