Encouraging with Robust Compassion

Encouraging with Robust Compassion

I remember a leadership position I held at one time, my team consisted of five individuals, each of whom had their own unique gifts and strengths. Despite four of them performing the same role, they each did it in their own unique way. As a result, as their manager, I had to approach the way I supported and encouraged them differently.

My approach was to celebrate, point out and encourage the things they did really well so they would continue to do these things. At the same time, inviting them to lean into their areas of development. In this way, I was able to reinforce their strengths but also encourage their areas of improvement. By highlighting strengths first my perception was there was more openness to exploring the things they needed to work on and therefore more willingness to put in the effort in these areas.

This brings up a very important point, encouraging others is not just about identifying and supporting strengths or the things they do well. There are definitely times when calling people up about their words, actions or behaviours is just as important for encouraging them to thrive.

When someone is acting out of alignment with their values or in a way that is causing harm to others it is our responsibility to point this out. They may be blissfully unaware of the impact they are having on themselves or on others, this is where we can exercise robust compassion.

My understanding of the definition of compassion is that it is a distinct wish for someone to be free from suffering. There is definitely an action component to compassion. We feel a deep understanding of what another is experiencing and want to do something to mitigate the suffering in some way. There are certainly times when a more “robust” approach is required. Like pointing out to someone how a behaviour is not serving them or those around them. Keeping them accountable to this is a pure act of compassion in and of itself.

Of course, our delivery here is crucial, we need to discern the time and the place but more importantly the openness to hearing. If someone is in a highly activated or in a heightened emotional state it may be better to wait until they become more regulated to deliver our message. We can do this by using our observation skills and listening. Not only to what is being said by the other but also by their body language and non-verbal cues.

A sentence starter that I often use to test the waters is “Do you mind if I reflect something back to you” or “Do you mind if I offer some feedback?” In my experience, the use of ‘I’ statements is critical here particularly if the other person is somewhat vulnerable or emotional. Upon asking either of these questions though we have to be mindful and open to the response and not just plough on because we have “the answer”.

If the other person says “no” we have to respect that and leave it there resisting the need to fix! Our role in holding space for others needs to be led by and in service to them. It is so much more powerful if they come up with the realisations or answers on their own.

The point here is sometimes we need to point things out and call them up so there is awareness in the first place.

When we encourage others we help them see not only the things that they do well or that we admire in them we also point out the potential blindspots someone may have. By doing so we enable greater self-awareness and by virtue of that assist them in being a better version of themselves.

First Published: https://www.beinghuman.net.au/blog/encouraging-isnt-just-about-rainbows-amp-unicorns

Mike Dyson

Building capacity for social & emotional wellbeing ◆ Consultant ◆ Facilitator ◆ Program Designer.

1 年

Yes to this. I love this phrase 'robust compassion'!

回复

要查看或添加评论,请登录

Joel Hines的更多文章

  • Human connection is universal

    Human connection is universal

    Facial hair is definitely not a gift of mine but this month during the month of Movember I have been joining thousands…

  • Great Leaders Listen

    Great Leaders Listen

    Great leaders possess a skill that sets them apart: they listen. In the cacophony of modern leadership rhetoric, the…

    1 条评论
  • Why Leaders Must Master the Art of Facilitation

    Why Leaders Must Master the Art of Facilitation

    Having had a lifetime of experience in both leadership roles and facilitation, I have been unaware of how intertwined…

    3 条评论
  • The Art of Persuasion

    The Art of Persuasion

    Use Storytelling to elevate your next presentation, proposal or pitch Have you ever been to, yet another, boring…

  • 3 Ways to Elevate Your Next Team Building Day

    3 Ways to Elevate Your Next Team Building Day

    I have participated in a range of team building days over my career and what has separated the positive experiences…

  • Cultivating Trust

    Cultivating Trust

    The Essential Ingredients for Building Strong Teams In one of my early leadership roles, I remember being so keen to be…

  • Crucial Considerations

    Crucial Considerations

    The Art of Crafting Successful Team Building Days Team building days can be powerful tools for enhancing team cohesion,…

    1 条评论
  • Amplifying Trust - The Key to Success

    Amplifying Trust - The Key to Success

    When I step into a room as a facilitator, there are three questions in my audience’s mind regardless of age, gender or…

  • Getting to the HEART of Leadership

    Getting to the HEART of Leadership

    “People can’t be what they can’t see” - This piece of advice from a mentor has been one of those pearls that has stayed…

    1 条评论
  • The Stormy Seas of Change

    The Stormy Seas of Change

    Recently I stepped away from a permanent role in an incredible organisation in order to pursue my own personal mission.…

    3 条评论

社区洞察

其他会员也浏览了