Encounters That Inspire Us to Grow
Impactful encounters, and the lessons they bring, can stay with us long after they’re gone. Especially when they come from unexpected sources.
I had one of the worst coughs I’d ever had and almost canceled my trip to the US. However, after receiving a hesitant okay from my doctor, I decided to go anyway.
On the first morning there, a tall, rather rugged-looking older man walked up to me. The walls were apparently very thin, and my coughing had kept him up all night.
He expressed sympathy for my cough, handed me a bag of throat lozenges, smiled, and walked away. I was moved by his thoughtful gesture but also suspicious of the stranger’s generosity.
As the week went on, we got to know one another.
His rugged appearance turned out to be a result of recovering from many years of alcohol addiction. I listened as he shared what it took for him to embark on his recovery process. His story, and the way he told it, made this encounter one of the most impactful and humbling ones of my life.
His story, and the way he told it, made this encounter one of the most impactful and humbling ones of my life.
What made his story so powerful?
As he told his story, he shared it with such radical honesty, without any sense of "victim mentality" or blaming others, as he took total accountability for his addiction and how it had affected those around him. When I told him I was impressed by his level of honesty, he responded,
“I wouldn’t be able to stay sober without it.”
What’s my point in sharing this story?
You and I may not struggle with alcohol addiction, but all of us have past experiences, behaviors, or struggles we are reluctant to face.
We can try to avoid or ignore them, but what are the possible consequences of doing so? And what could be some positive outcomes if we did?
This man said he couldn't begin the work of recovery until he was ready to admit his absolute powerlessness over alcohol. He had already started working on the other steps in AA's 12-step program, but it took him eight years to finally confront this particular step and start his “real recovery process”.
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What was the turning point?
This man’s two best friends had already died from alcohol abuse, but that wasn’t a strong enough motivation for him.
He found his motivation when he realized his wife and two children were going to leave him for good if he didn’t become sober.
How can you use this story to grow?
Confronting and working through painful truths often requires motivation beyond ourselves.
Conclusions
As I do my inner work, I sometimes think of this man and the integrity he embodied. I use it as motivation to approach myself with the radical honesty needed to grow.
The deeper we meet ourselves, the more compassion we have for others.
True compassion comes with understanding. If we can’t understand another, we can’t feel compassion at a deep level either.
And if we don’t understand ourselves, how can we possibly understand someone else, let alone have compassion for them?
It all starts with ourselves. Others can nonetheless serve as inspiring role models.
But we can't just look up to them, we also need to apply what they've taught us.
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