EMULATING SHREE KRISHNA!! - IT IS IN PARDONING THAT WE ARE PARDONED

The Mooring

The Indian festival of “Janamashtami” was celebrated with traditional fervour and gaiety, earlier this year. As I drove back home after work, I received the undermentioned message about Shree Krishna simultaneously from two sources: Ranju Bhatia - my wife of 30 years and Neeta Advani – a classmate from College.

???? ???? ?? ?? ????? ?? ????? ???? ??? ?? ??? 99 ?? ???? ????? ?? '????????' ??...?? ?? ????? ????

?'???????' ???? ?????? ???? ?? ??? ?? ??? ??? ??? ????? '?????' ??... ?? ?? ????? ????

????????' ?? ???? ???? ?? ??? ?? ??? '??????' ????? ??... ?? ?? ????? ????

???????' ?? ?? ?? ????? ???? ?? ?? ??? '?????' ??... ?? ?? ????? ????

?'????????????' ???? ?? ?? ??? ?????' ??? ???...?? ?? ????? ????

????? ??? ???? ???, ?? ?????????? ??!

????? ????? ?????????? ?? ??????? ?????????? ?? ????

Life in Hindsight – 6/6

?Sooner or later, life makes us realise that hindsight is always 6/6. Post superannuation, despite having a full-time second innings job - travelling to and fro from the office on the unruly traffic-infested streets of Lucknow or while undertaking interminable journeys into the hinterland of rural Uttar Pradesh, both these often give me time to ruminate about “life and stuff”.

?The Basketball Ring at Astha Kunj

One such interminable journey found me back in the gated Society (Astha Kunj, Dwarka, New Delhi) where I spent three (2005 – 2008) wonderful years, while I was posted to the Army Headquarters. Both my kids ( Abhimanyu Bhatia & Arundhati Bhatia ) were young, being 11 and 8 years old respectively. The constant encouragement they received from us and the faculty, to make the most of the facilities available in the “Indraprastha International School, Dwarka, New Delhi”, saw both pick-up sports of their choice. Abhimanyu Bhatia chose Basketball while Arundhati Bhatia went Swimming.

To encourage Abhimanyu Bhatia , to excel – I offered him the age-old advice of making 100 baskets a day and with that intent I sought permission from the President/Secretary of the RWA, to have a practice Basketball ring and net fixed on the wall towards the rear periphery of the society.

The current visit goaded me to go down memory lane and revisit all the favourite haunts in the Society premises, from yesteryears and lo behold – I landed up at the wall which had seen Abhimanyu try and make 100 baskets a day. To my utter surprise, 17 years later I found the remnants of the Basketball ring still affixed on the wall as if hanging on for dear life. I am certain that even after Abhimanyu had left, many more kids must have utilised the Basketball ring to hone their skills. It was apparent that the ring had fulfilled its destiny (and more…) but had finally been vanquished in its battle with the ravages of time and hence lost its utility, a long time ago.

?Forgive and Forget

The presence of the decaying, broken, dysfunctional and hanging-on-for-dear-life basketball ring in the same place even after 17 long years - to my simplistic mind is akin to the grudge or resentment, that we may harbour in our hearts or mind for anybody or anything, who may have knowingly or unknowingly hurt us.

Extending the analogy, a little further and connecting it with the Janamashtami Shree Krishna message I had quoted earlier.

The basketball ring when it was freshly deployed had an unmistakable utility. Similarly, when a hurt is fresh it is a tad difficult to allow oneself to “let it go.” Betrayal, aggression, or plain insensitivity: our friends, acquaintances, colleagues or relatives can hurt us in a million ways, and forgiveness is not always easy. Whether someone cut in front of you while commuting to work, someone close to you slighted you, your spouse (or kids) was irrational and brash with you, or someone at work indulged in back-biting - most of us are routinely faced with a multitude of situations, both grave and mundane that we can choose to ruminate over or forgive. But forgiveness, like so many other things in life, is easier said than done. One is enraged, even furious and accordingly, I completely comprehend that it is not easy to “forgive and forget” or be like Shree Krishna and allow the number of hurts to reach the centennial mark before acting.

?We are after all humans. Agreed!!

But what will happen to your spirit / being if you continue to harbour that grudge, sustain that sensation of resentment and shelter that feeling of ill will against that wrongdoer? That wrong-doer after shooting hundreds of baskets (read – hurt) on your spirit/being, will move on, having perfected the art of hurting others. Whereas your spirit/being, is left battered and bruised, with the proverbial basketball ring left decaying, broken and dysfunctional (going by the example at hand, even 17 years later than when the incident took place).

One can do nothing with it. It is just there, without any aim, utility or viability of it becoming whole again.

?Who is the loser?

?YOU!!

Before, I conclude this piece with my simplistic inference, allow me to reflect on the Janamashtami greeting with which I started this piece. Going by the teachings of our scriptures, God is everywhere – even within us. Those of us who have studied the scriptures would agree to my assessment that Shree Krishna (God as per Hindu pantheon and considered the eighth incarnation of Vishnu) is omnificent, omniscient, omnipercipient and omnisentient. Despite these exceptional qualities he behaves throughout his life as a normal human being. If one was to consider this fact as the eternal truth, then should we not understand that our essence is akin to that of God (Shree Krishna) and should we not then try to emulate what he professed and exhorted everyone to abide by throughout his lifetime?

Just as Shree Krishna repeatedly forgave his cousin, Shishupal (The son of King Damghosh and Queen Sutasubha of Chedi Kingdom. Sutasubha was the sister of Vasudev, father of Lord Krishna) his recurrent follies, should we also not emulate the same example and try to be like Shree Krishna, by forgiving those who hurt us – for any reason whatsoever?

I leave my reader with a prayer of St. Francis of Assisi [the Patron Saint of St Francis School, Lucknow (now College) where I spent my formative years] –

?Make me an instrument of your peace

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

and where there is sadness, joy.

?O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

to be consoled as to console;

to be understood as to understand;

to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

?Amen.

—St. Francis of Assisi[1]

?Simplistic Inference

Forgiving someone even for the most mundane of incidents is fraught with multiple imponderables. We must be careful while forgiving, lest the wrong-doer feels that this type of behaviour is acceptable and might make a habit of it. Oftentimes, we take someone’s boorish behaviour or insensitivity in our stride. Forgiveness can be difficult because these two instances can be easily confused.

Forgiveness is often difficult to grant, especially when the wrong-doer is unrepentant, or you get the feeling that by forgiving you are letting them "off the hook." While this feeling is completely understandable, we must not forget that forgiveness permits us to move on — with or without the wrong-doer. It would be appropriate to quote William Shakespeare on forgiveness when he says - “I pardon him, as God shall pardon me.”

In the end, I feel, the rationale for forgiving those who have wronged you must be that forgiveness benefits the forgiver more than the one who is forgiven.

Jodi Picoult has articulated this so well - "Forgiving isn't something you do for someone else. It is something you do for yourself. It is saying, 'You're not important enough to have a stranglehold on me.' It is saying, 'You do not get to trap me in the past. I am worthy of a future'."

[1] (First published in 1912 - nearly 710 years ago - by a French clerical magazine, La Clochette. The real author was probably the magazine's editor, Father Esther Bouquerel.)