Emotional Support Systems

As Africans, it is our culture to take care of our parents when they are old, frail or sick. It is difficult for us to hand their care over?to caregivers. Maybe it is because of how close we tend to be to our parents but we are generally wired that way and it is a good thing. However, caring for the elderly and very sick patients in the hospital as a doctor has given me a few life lessons.

First of all, choosing to have not more than one child can be a heavy burden for that child when we are older. She or he would have to take care of both parents when they are old and even if the financial burden is not a problem, the psychological toll it could have on a person can be exhausting. Sharing that emotional burden with a sibling always makes it easier to cope.?So if you can have more than one child, please do. I’m not saying have children you can’t cater for but having at least two can be good. I may be wrong but I speak from what I have seen people go through while caring for their old or sick parents.

Secondly, always check on your parents, they may not feel the need to burden you probably because of your own circumstances. But take time every now and again to really have deep, meaningful?conversations with them and let them know how much you really?love them. At the end of the day, they are also humans and need the care, love and attention from us as much as we did and still do from them. Give back that emotional attention they invested in you during your formative years. Sometimes all they need from you is your attention not your money. Don’t get me wrong, your financial assistance is always important but it will not take the place of your emotional support.?After years of nurturing you, the cycle turns where you have to “nurture’ your parents when they are old and frail. Life is like that sometimes.

Finally, we need to understand and accept that life is in cycles. When we make decisions for ourselves, they inadvertently affect those around us. Don’t isolate yourself in life. Having an emotional support system is extremely important for our mental health. There are friends that stick as close as?siblings. If you’re an only child then this?is most especially crucial?for you. No person is an island. It always takes a village. Even if that village was not provided by natural selection, then create one for yourself. It is extremely important.

See you at the top.