Empty Nest Syndrome: Understanding and Overcoming the Emotional Challenges

In the 2024, “Winning Every Wednesday” series, “Shalisa’s Sisters” is celebrating the lives of all Women over 50! My mission is to provide female survivors of Domestic Violence and women around the globe with uplifting, empowering, transformative resources, and guidance to enrich your life. I see you, Sister!... You’re Beautiful ,You’re Important and the Wisdom you have is Valued! Thank you.

??????????? In 2024, globally, approximately 50-70 million parents are set to become “Empty Nesters” and in the United States alone, this number could exceed 13 million as adult children move out their parents’ homes to attend college, get married, or start their independent lives. As a mother who has faced “Empty Nest Syndrome” when my son left home, I understand the sadness, fear, and worry that accompany this transition, including concerns about whether I had adequately prepared him for to be successful and have a happy life.

During this transformative period, both parents and children encounter a spectrum of emotions and must tackle challenges like managing finances, adult children finding safe & affordable housing and dealing with family members living in separate spaces. Navigating this new and sometimes intricate phase can be approached with resilience and optimism. It's essential for families to communicate openly about the next steps to ensure a smooth and organized transition. By working together, you can develop a solid plan to guide your family through unfamiliar territory.

Common Emotional Challenges

1. Feelings of Loss and Grief The departure of children often brings a profound sense of loss. It’s not just about the empty rooms; it’s about missing the daily interactions and the role of being a hands-on parent. This shift can trigger a grieving process as you come to terms with the end of a significant chapter in your life. When my son first left home, I literally would come home expecting to talk to him about his day, cook dinner and prepare for an onslaught of his activities; my entire identity revolved around being his mom. When he moved out, I technically was still his mother, but I didn’t know how to cut the apron-strings. I treated him like he was still my little boy even though he was a grown man. In my eyes, I still viewed him as a child that needed my protection and guidance. I gave him my opinion without him asking for my input. To help your family stay connected during this transition, schedule video calls, text updates, or visits to stay involved in their lives while also giving them space to grow independently.
2. Identity Crisis Many parents derive a significant part of their identity from their role as caregivers. When this role changes, it takes time to pivot from parenting a child to finding a new sense of self and purpose. The change might leave you questioning your worth or direction in life. Think back to the time before you were a parent…you used to date, you had hobbies, or traveled and most of your time belonged to you. Then you became a parent, and your time was no longer just your own.

Now that your children have moved out you may be asking yourself, Who am I? Well, this is a chance to rediscover yourself, make a list of things or places you want to travel. Ask yourself who you are and aspire to be, or how you want your life to be now that you’re an Empty Nester, this can provide clarity. Consider taking up a new class, starting a creative project, or volunteering for a cause you care about. Leaning on friends, family or consulting a licensed therapist can provide you with perspective.

3. Increased Loneliness The quiet of an empty nest can lead to feelings of loneliness. Without the constant presence of family members, the house may feel eerily quiet, and the lack of daily interaction can lead to isolation and a sense of disconnection. What you’re feeling is normal and you’re not alone; connecting with other Empty Nesters at local community programs or on social media can be an outlet and help you process your feelings; other parents maybe experiencing similar circumstances and together all of you can find ways to cope; they can be your new support circle. Consider adopting a pet, having a pet to care for can give you a new sense of purpose.

4. Marital Strain For couples, the empty nest can also bring to light underlying issues in the relationship. Without the focus on parenting, partners might find themselves confronting long-simmering disagreements or discovering that they need to rebuild their connection. Couples therapy can allow you and your partner to respectfully acknowledge and discuss the areas in your relationship that need strengthening and healthy ways to rebuild a loving partnership. If after a concerted effort of participating in marital counseling is fruitless, the two of you may decide to respectfully uncouple; remember the two of you are still parents and your children will forever bond you two together. Your adult children need to know that their parents still love them, and that the family bond is strong.

5. Worry and Anxiety Parents often worry about their children’s well-being when they are no longer under their roof. This worry can sometimes translate into anxiety about their future, safety, or success. From the time you discover that you’re expecting, you worry about a healthy pregnancy. You wonder if they’ll be born with all their fingers and toes. You worry about your delivery then once they’re born you worry about them for the rest of their lives. No matter their age, you naturally worry about them when they’re not in your sight, the old saying is “A mother carriers her child for nine months and carries them on her heart for the rest of her life” The meaning emphasizes the deep and enduring bond between a mother and her child.

?6. Strategies for Overcoming Empty Nest Syndrome

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings Recognizing and validating your emotions is the first step in dealing with Empty Nest Syndrome. Allow yourself to grieve and accept that it’s normal to feel a mix of sadness and relief. Journaling can be an outlet to process your emotions as well as openly talking to your adult child(ren) about your thoughts about them moving out. Consider scheduling a specific time to speak once a week to catch up, occasionally meet for a meal and periodically vacation together.
2. Strengthen Your Relationship Now that your adult children have moved out, you and your partner can have a regular “Date Night” to rekindle the romance or keep the flames of passion burning . Plan activities that you both enjoy, to strengthen your bond. Whether it’s traveling, cooking together, or investing in your relationship can be both fulfilling and reassuring.
3. Stay Connected with Your Children Maintaining regular contact with your children can help ease the transition. This can help you feel more connected and informed about their lives.
4. Create a New Routine Establishing new routines and habits can help fill the void left by the departure of your children. Re-purposing your time can restore your sense of purpose in life. This might include setting new goals, creating a personal schedule, or engaging in activities that bring you joy and satisfaction.
5. Focus on Self-Care Prioritize your well-being by adopting self-care practices. This might involve physical activities like exercise, mindfulness practices such as meditation, Yoga or simply taking time to relax, perhaps a daily afternoon nap can help rejuvenate you and lift your spirit. Self-care can enhance your emotional resilience and overall, provide you with a sense of well-being. Remember to also rest, after all you’ve raised children for years; it’s okay to take a break!
6. Reframe the Experience Embracing a new mindset may help you view this phase of your life as another chapter and learning experience rather than a loss. An empty nest can be a time for personal growth, freedom, and new possibilities.

??????????? Welcome to the new phase of having an Empty Nest! Empty Nest Syndrome is a natural and understandable reaction to this significant life change. By acknowledging your emotions, investing in yourself, and seeking support, you can navigate this transition with greater ease, renewed purpose and joy. This period can also be an opportunity for you and your partner to reconnect and strengthen your bond. Remember, you’ve spent years preparing your children to step into the world and make a positive impact. Trust that you’ve done your best, for them and yourself.

RESOURCES:

National Domestic Violence Hotline-?If you or someone you know is in an abusive romantic relationship and needs resources, please call?1-800-799-7233.?TTY?1-800-787-3224.?Text- “START” to 88788. Open?24/7, 365?by call/text/chat (You can speak to representatives in English & Espanol).?https://www.thehotline.org/

Hard Cover Book. “The Empty Nest Blueprint: Plan, Pursue, and Thrive for the Most Underrated Stage of Your Life”?Damaschino, Anthony. September 12, 2023. Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/Empty-Nest-Blueprint-Pursue-Underrated/dp/B0CJ6P1XFR/ref=asc_df_B0CJ6P1XFR?tag=bingshoppinga-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=79920938826404&hvnetw=o&hvqmt=e&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=&hvtargid=pla-4583520404835237&psc=1

*When utilizing the Internet, please only use official websites with a lock symbol next to the URL (“A URL, or Uniform Resource Locator, is the address used to access resources on the internet. It specifies the location of a resource and how to retrieve it”, these are only a few examples. Ex: https://example.com/path/to/resource OR https://example.com OR https://www.ssa.gov/

REFERENCES:

Holy Bible- Scripture/Passage (New International Version-NIV). ?Exodus 20:12 NIV. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus%2020:12&version=NIV

Personal Story (Empty Nest Syndrome). Wall, Shalisa. Spring 2005

ChatGPT AI-. (Empty Nest Syndrome). https://chatgpt.com/

?Google Search Engine- (Number of Empty Nesters in 2024-globally/America)

?SCRIPTURE OF THE DAY: Exodus 20:12 NIV– “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”

??DISCLAIMER: I am a survivor of Domestic Violence, and my goal is to provide free helpful resources to other female survivors to support you in your healing journey.?The statements, thoughts and comments are my own. The resources provided are from legitimate entities that I have no affiliation with nor receive compensation from these businesses. Please comply with all your local, Federal and state laws as it relates to your individual Domestic Violence situation.? If you know someone that’s in immediate danger, please call 9-1-1 or your local law enforcement emergency number. *I have no association, affiliation nor receive compensation from any of the aforementioned companies/products.

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