Empowering Women: Taking Control of Financial Futures

It’s International Women’s Day, and my father’s death has given me some ideas about how you should be spending it.

Let me explain. When my dad passed away last year, I was unprepared for the decisions and responsibilities suddenly thrust upon me. Had he left any kind of estate plan? What were the passwords for his account? And was my mom equipped to pay the utilities, mortgage, and insurance premiums—or even aware of how much was owed?

My mom, to be clear, is plenty smart. With a passion for both teaching and travel, she has meticulously organized over a dozen trips worldwide, providing high school students with unforgettable journeys to explore some of the globe's most enriching cultural destinations. (And my dad, for the record, was a pretty good cook … if you liked grilled chicken.) But over 52 years of marriage, they divvied up household tasks like many in their generation, carving out domestic specializations that fell largely along gendered lines. He paid the bills; she made sure the kids got to school on time.

These dynamics are changing—and fast, by some reports. In 2020, one?study ?found that nearly 9 in 10 women in a relationship reported that they were involved in household investing and spending decisions, up from 4 in 10 just eight years earlier. (Or not so fast: that same study found that even though nearly a third of partnered women said that they were primarily responsible for their household finances, just 5 percent of men agreed.)

Still, the reality is that in many long marriages, one partner takes charge of the finances—and especially for couples in my parents’ generation, that is often the man. In the months after my father’s death, I found myself talking to many family friends and acquaintances about what I was learning about the need for financial preparedness. I discovered it was somewhat akin to sharing a cancer diagnosis—once you open up about your experience, others reciprocate with their own.

I was surprised by what I heard. Many women, especially those over 60, confided that they were afraid they would outlive their spouses without a clear understanding of their financial situation—or even knowledge of where basic documents were kept.

Demographically, they are right to worry. Women outlive their?spouses ?by an average of 5.8 years, and the stress and anxiety associated with financial uncertainty can profoundly affect one’s mental health, something I heard about in countless conversations and saw firsthand through my mother’s journey.

But financially, they should take heart. Taking the necessary steps to equip oneself with the knowledge and tools needed to manage a household’s finances isn’t rocket science. To the contrary, it’s one that’s necessary for one’s survival, independence, and dignity.

So every year, pick a date to sit down with your partner, perhaps over a bottle of nice wine, or takeout from your favorite place, to make sure that both of you have a good overview of your family’s financial affairs and are prepared should something happen to the other. At a minimum, this conversation should cover:

What are our assets and liabilities??Both of you should know about every financial account, insurance policy, legal document, and liability that impacts your household. (Bonus if you can collect all of this information in one place.)

How do our bills get paid??Make sure to cover due dates, payment sources, and autopay settings. Trust me, these are not things you want to be scrambling to figure out in the days before or after a loved one dies.

How do I access our accounts??It’s critical to remove barriers to information, especially in times of crisis. That might mean a shared set of security questions, using a password manager, or making sure both phones work for two-factor authentication challenges.

How are we doing financially??Too often the social taboo against talking about money extends into our own families. To ensure all members are ready for their future responsibilities, try instead to foster a family culture of openness and transparency about finances.

These discussions aren’t something that should wait until someone is at death’s door. Nor should it be a one-time conversation. Finances are like driving or cooking or changing diapers: even if one spouse does it most of the time, the other should be able to pinch hit at a moment’s notice.

Of course, you can pick any date you choose for this conversation, but International Women’s Day seems apt. Because financial independence is not only about personal security; it’s a cornerstone of societal progress and equality.?Women who are financially literate ?make better financial decisions, express more confidence in their choices, and foster a culture of financial responsibility and independence that can be passed through generations.

Some might believe that managing the family finances is an act of love, and that’s great. But keeping on top of things needn’t mean keeping your partner in the dark. If you think your spouse is grateful now not to be dealing with the day-to-day minutiae of bills and taxes, just imagine how much more grateful they will be when they know what to do if you’re not there.

Nothing can prepare you for the loss of a loved one. But we all can—and should—take steps to be more prepared.

Are your loved ones prepared if something happens to you? Organize your estate information today and ensure your family has the vital information they need.

Estate Preparation Packages begin shipping out at the end of March! (We’re waiting on the physical binders to arrive from overseas.)

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Adam Zuckerman is a JD/MBA, Eisenhower Fellow, and the founder of?Buried in Work , an online resource for end-of-life and estate organization.