Empowering Life Choices, Getting Intentional with Time, and How to Say No

Deviating from what is considered a ‘normal’ path by society can be a scary thing to do. Or perhaps it’s a change from what your family or cultural tradition deems as the ‘right’ way to do things.

Some examples of this include: making a decision not to get married or have children, changing a ‘secure’ career path for one considered risky or unstable, leaving a marriage, moving to a new town or country, or deciding to devote all of your time and energy to a cause that resonates with you.?

Whatever your decision may be, taking the road less traveled can bring up uncomfortable feelings not just for yourself, but also for the people you love and who love you.

This is a scenario I am very familiar with, as I’ve made many decisions in my life that are not considered traditional. I’ve always sought out ways to live life on my own terms, even when I was a complete and utter people pleaser. I moved away, I got divorced, I am childless by choice, I left a stable, successful career to start my own business, to name a few.

If you’re in the midst of taking a new path, considering one, or already well on your way, it’s important to remember that making an alternative decision to the one people expect of you means you’ve decided to live life on your terms, and not based on what someone else wants for you.

In doing so, you are building a relationship with yourself, trusting what you want for you, and holding that higher than what someone else wants from you. And you do it knowing that others might feel disappointed. Like so many things in life, this is about boundaries and knowing what’s true for you, even if someone else feels differently.?

The fact is we do not make people unhappy, mad, or disappointed. Everyone has free will to feel the way they want to feel. You can be open to impact and their feedback, but it’s not your responsibility to manage someone else’s truth. Oftentimes when someone in your life has a strong negative reaction to a decision of yours, it’s because your decision holds up a mirror to them, making them question their own choices and actions.

The alternative to living the life you want is tamping down your own life force to not rock the boat, making yourself unhappy at the expense of presumably keeping others happy.

It’s essential to get right with your own decision, because this is what empowers you. You’re taking full responsibility for yourself without needing anyone else’s buy-in, permission, or approval.?

And if you’re still sitting with uncomfortable feelings, fearing judgment and criticism, then that simply means you’re still judging and criticizing yourself. This is the work – getting into right relationship with yourself so you can embody your own truth.

Going against the grain of society’s norms is something I cover quite a bit on my podcast Your Permission Prescription, and I invite you to check out episodes that align with this topic. This includes choosing to be child free, how and why I changed my career path to become a life coach, and embracing change when you’re operating in life on different terms. There are many more along these lines, and I hope you’ll check them out to see what resonates with you!

The Business of Life Coaching

I recently posted a video on YouTube talking about the myth of work-life balance, and how it’s more helpful to reposition this as work-life blending. I want to elaborate on how this impacts life coaches specifically.

In some ways, the conversation about work-life blending comes down to boundaries and time. Even if I’m talking about blending vs. balance, it doesn’t mean I’m working 24/7. Instead, it’s about constantly crafting your own life. If you’re a life coach running your own practice or working to start your practice, how do you want to craft your days…and by extent, your life?

For example, I always consider what will make me perform and feel my best, and those things are always at the top of my list. They include meditating, journaling, and hiking. These things go in my calendar and I block time for them. Another practice that works well for me is stacking my days. I pack more into Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays so I can be more flexible on Monday and Friday. The way I craft my time is very intentional.

Most people are just doggy paddling, going in circles, not intentionally blocking time. And not just from a time management perspective. It’s also about considering what makes you feel good and what you need to make your day work best for you.?

Ultimately, you can be the architect of your life.

A Coaching Prompt for Coaches

Do you have trouble saying no? Instead of saying no when you want to, do you respond with a knee-jerk yes?

The knee-jerk yes is what happens when you automatically say yes to something you don’t want to do. You say yes out of obligation, fear, responsibility, or wanting to be the hero.

Trouble saying no can have a big impact on your coaching practice. For example, a client asks to meet at a time that’s not preferable to you. But you say yes because you’re afraid of losing the client.?

Or you conduct a discovery session with a potential client and strongly feel you should not work together, but you fear you won’t be able to get more paying clients, so you say yes.

The only reason to say yes is desire. And YES, it’s absolutely realistic to only say yes when you want to. The process is fundamentally simple, but something you’ll have to train yourself to do.?

You must pause before responding with a yes or no.

Pause to consider what you want, whether it works for you, if it’s within the limits of the boundaries you set for yourself, and if it is in alignment with your vision. This isn’t about being selfish – it’s about getting clear on how and when you can show up as your best self.

In the examples offered above, saying no can be as gentle and simple as:

“I don’t have availability at that time. Let’s look at other options.”

“I don’t think we are the right fit, but I’d like to refer you to a colleague.”

Your “no” never has to come from a place of apology or giving excuses or even reasons. You can deliver your no with gratitude and grace, all while remaining in integrity with yourself.

Expand Your Mind

I am pleased to share that Hay House is currently offering my newest audio download – 8 Dimensions of Reinventing Yourself – for 50% off, and I’d like to offer a lesson from this audio with you.

Earlier in today’s edition of The Practice, I talked about being intentional with your time. Within 8 Dimensions of Reinventing Yourself, I provide a lesson on self-honoring and non-negotiables.?

As you begin to explore how you can be intentional with your time each day, ask yourself these two questions:

How will I connect with myself in the morning?

How will I connect with myself in the evening?

Once you identify how you will achieve this connection, write out the actions you must take that will enable you to connect with yourself morning and evening.

Start there and see where this takes you. Setting intentions for morning and evening are a powerful way to ensure you act in alignment with your overall life vision and what you desire.

8 Dimensions of Reinventing Yourself can be purchased as a stand alone audio, or as part of Hay House’s Empower You Unlimited Audio.?

If you’re not familiar with Empower You, I encourage you to check it out – it’s a beautiful and incredibly valuable resource for self development, personal growth, and healing. It is a subscription program where members receive access to every audio book, program, and meditation Hay House has to offer. You can learn more about Empower You Unlimited Radio right here.?

Life Coaching Links

Stop the Frenzy! — The Hidden Cost of “Hallucinated Urgency”

If you always find yourself in the rush of “doing” you will relate to the author’s concept of “hallucinated urgency.” This is essentially the feeling that we must be fast and uber-responsive, fearing anything less than an immediate response would result in being judged poorly. The author of this article empowers the ready to understand that urgency is a choice. In today’s world, I think that’s a pretty revolutionary concept…and a very necessary mindset shift.?

Teenagers Share Their Best Life Hacks

Younger generations can sometimes be an untapped source of wisdom, and the life hacks offered by teenagers in this article prove it. The hacks range from simple and useful, to profound and surprising. Absolutely worth a read for all ages.

How Changing My Words Changed My Life for the Better

The power of words never fails to amaze me. This article explores the impact our words have on our individual mindset – and how simple shifts of word choice can literally change your life. Many of the word shifts are things I often say, and I know what a profound effect these changes can have.?

Did you like what you read in this edition of The Practice? Do you know someone who could benefit from reading it, too? Please share this newsletter with them or invite them to sign up at nancylevin.com/newsletter.?