Empowering Choice #2 - Choose to TRUST OTHERS
Jean-Francois Cousin
Global Executive & Team Coach, MCC ? Keynote Speaker ? Author ? Former Chairman, ICF Global Board
Ernest Hemingway famously said,
“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
I wish to add that the best way to be trusted by somebody is to trust them, and therefore, it matters to leaders. Lao Tzu said:
“He who does not trust enough can not be trusted”.
I am not talking about unconditional trust here, as I wasn’t of blind optimism. ‘Believe in God and lock your car’ would better reflect the approach I suggest to trusting others!
Hence I recommend you give your trust, explain at the same time that you like to anchor your relationships in trust and that it makes them rewarding for 95% of the time - thereby implying that you stay aware that 5% of people don’t honor your trust back!
It is about choosing to offer your trust in an 'adult-to-adult relationship', where each party is accountable for their commitments and holds the other one accountable as well. A clear opposite to 'parent-child relationship' where the parent-figure will take full responsibility and won’t hold the child-figure responsible.
Neuroscience has shown that people are energized as they gain a degree of autonomy, and that is what trust enables. In reverse, micromanagement de-motivates people drastically.
1st Tip - Grant your trust and explain why you choose to do so
It is also important that you explain to those around you how integrity is a core-value of yours, and why you don’t tolerate any lack of it. Some people may derail and manifest dishonesty…
My experience is that it is rarely worthwhile to give them a second chance. And it is often risky, for toxic behaviors can be highly contagious. As we take a rotten apple out from a fruit basket the moment we spot it - it may also be sound to remove an untrustworthy employee from their position.
2nd Tip -
Don't compromise about integrity
Jean-Francois Cousin is a global executive coach and the founder of Greatness Leadership Coaching. His latest book “Game Changers at the Circus: how leaders can unleash Greatness in their organization” is available on Amazon.com.