Employees Don’t Quit Bosses, They Quit Themselves

“The most useful person in the world today is the man or woman who knows how to get along with other people. Human relations is the most important science in living.” Stanley C. Allyn

As an employee, we feel cared for when our employer goes the extra mile to make us feel comfortable as we journey through the world of work. How do employees make their employers feel? After paying the bills and wages, most times I have nothing left. I never knew one of my team members noticed that. So, when she got paid, she makes sure she gets me a gift and thank me for the sacrifices I made. Another team member also noticed and put money in an envelope to give back to me.

Employers want to also feel cared for. Employees want to have relationships with their people. I got a job and started work and within seven months I was earning more than some of the employees who had spent 2 or more years working there. The secret was that I built a relationship with my employer. I provided value to him by building relationships. I demonstrated care to him by doing more to help him realize his vision.

When being mentored by Bob Chapman, I noticed that when people talk about leadership it is always top-down. Except in conversations and academic work, no one looks at the employee as a leader. I have been both an employee and now an employer. My goal isn’t to talk from one perspective but from a common ground. I wrote my book, Truly Human Employee, to address this. You can get it here

It amazes me when employees quit a job simply because they are unable to get along with their bosses. One of the key skills that most employees lack is the ability to build relationships at work, especially with their bosses or employer. We talk about how employees are treated, but we never talk about how employees should treat their bosses.

At Value Giver Coach programs, we guide employees to first build relationships with their employers. Value cannot be created until there is a relationship that is mutually beneficial.

Bosses are humans. They have a family. They have same human challenges as employees. They have need to be cared for. They want to also feel included and have a sense of belonging. Employees come to work, expect to be treated well and then leave at the close of work and expect to be paid.

Most employees don’t ever consider how the boss is able to pay bills and still keep the business afloat. They hardly consider the stress employers go through to ensure that everyone has a job when they come in the next day. When employees close from work and leave to go home, most bosses stay back and work more to ensure everyone can return back the next day.

In Truly Human Employee, I talked about the number one skill every employee needs to have: the ability to relate with their employer. It's important that every employer ensures that their employees understand what it takes to build relationships at work.

When we say our bosses are difficult, what we are doing is projecting who we are to them. When you think your boss is difficult, you may actually be the one who is difficult. What you are getting back is the mirror image of what you are sending out into the world. The way you see others is a reflection of how we see ourselves.

If we think people are difficult, its because we are difficult with ourselves

If we think people are toxic, its because we have toxicity in us

If we can’t trust others, its because we can’t trust ourselves

If we are critical of others, its because we are critical and not accepting of ourselves

If we are caring to others, its because we care for ourselves

Creating Value Starts With Relationship

There is no way you can see value in others when you haven’t seen value in yourself. The way you see yourself is exactly the way you are going to perceive others. The world only reflects back to you and gives you back what you put out. The way you are treated is your mirror image.

So, quitting a workplace because you feel it's toxic won’t change you. You may see toxicity in the place because you have it in you. Quitting because you feel no one cares for or trusts you but the truth may be that you don’t care for others and don’t trust them. I have learned that working with difficult people helps you become a better person than working with nice people.

That is the power of relationships. You don’t quit your family even though it's dysfunctional. When work is tough, you have the chance to become better. When people don’t care for you, you have the chance to become caring. You can’t only give what you have. As Wayne Dyer said, when pressure is applied to you, what is inside you comes out.

If you quit a job because you are not paid well, you are a commodity.

If you quit your job because you are not treated well, you are inhuman

If you quit your job because everyone is hard on you, you are an economic child

No one can create value without first developing a relationship with the other. Building a relationship with people is one way to create value for them. All other forms of value creation depend on building a relationship. There are two distinct types of relationships in the workplace:

1. Transactional Relationship: This relationship is me-focused. I feel I am entitled and you need to create value for me. I treat you as you treat me. If I am hurting, I hurt you back. If you are good to me, I am happy. If you are not good to me, you are cruel and wicked. It’s all about what I can get from you for minimum effort and if I don’t get it, I end the relationship. The relationship is built around what I want. I want people to understand me. When I am benefiting everything is okay. I take and you give

2. Transformational Relationship: This is other-focused. I only deserve anything because I created value for you. Even when I don’t get what I want, I keep creating value. I don’t treat you as you treat me. If you are harsh towards me, I am caring towards you. If you are toxic, I isolate that toxicity and try to understand you so I can add value to you. I want to understand others. When you are benefiting everything is okay. I give and you give.

When people quit a job, they are not quitting bosses, but rather are quitting themselves. They are exposing their inability to build relationships with their employer. They are quitting the opportunity to build a capability that will continue to help them in life. When you build transformational relationships, you provide people with hope, confidence and excitement.

We are organizing a Game-Changing Value Creator Coaching program. You can be part and should be part. It is for you. If you want to attain freedom and find fulfillment at work, then become a value creator.

Be part of the Game-Changer Value Creation Coaching program. You will go through the mindset required to create and the tools you need to always create value in the workplace. Are you ready for a fundamental change- a breakthrough in the way you approach your work? If you are, then you are ready for the Value Giver Coach Program. Please call +2348101671745.

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