The Employee Part of Employee Experience Matters: Rethinking Our Relationship with Work

Have you ever stopped to consider whether we're placing unrealistic expectations on our jobs? In an age where work often becomes the central pillar of our identity, it's worth asking: Are we demanding more from our workplaces than they were designed to provide?

As a leader who focuses on modern work and the employee experience, I've observed a growing trend in which individuals seek not just a livelihood from their jobs but also purpose, community, social connection, and even political alignment. While employers strive to create engaging and supportive environments, it's crucial to recognize that they can't—and shouldn't—fulfill every facet of our personal fulfillment. Sometimes, as individuals and employees, it's up to us to diversify where we find meaning and satisfaction.

The Vanishing Web of Community Connections Outside Of Work

Reflect on times past when life was rich with community interactions. Bowling leagues were more than just a game; they were a weekly gathering that fostered camaraderie. Neighborhood barbecues weren't just about food but forging bonds with those living next door. For some, faith institutions provided spiritual guidance, a strong sense of community, and shared values. These outlets provided social interaction and a sense of belonging, allowing people to fulfill different facets of their identities outside of work.

Over the years, participation in these community activities has declined significantly. According to the American Time Use Survey, there has been a trend toward increased isolation and decreased socialization over the past two decades (increase in time spent alone, decrease in time spent with others, and more). As these traditional sources of fulfillment wane, many have turned to their workplaces to fill the void, placing unprecedented expectations on employers to provide not just a job but a comprehensive life experience.

There are many potential reasons for this, such as:

• The continued rise in remote work blurs the line between work and personal life, encroaching on time for local community engagement.
• Creating more informal workplace communities may fulfill some social needs previously met through local community participation.
• The pandemic disrupted many traditional forms of local community engagement, which may not have fully recovered.

While there are many reasons, and the data is more nuanced, the net result is that as sources of connection outside the workplace wane, many have turned to their workplaces to fill the void.

We now look to our jobs to satisfy not just our professional ambitions but also our social and emotional needs. In fact there is even a growing demand for work to match our personal politics (according to recent data, 60% of workers prefer jobs at companies with politically aligned CEOs). We ask our work to be a place for purpose, community, social connection, belonging, and more, but can it be all of those things?

The Pitfall of Concentrated Expectations

Consider the strain placed on a romantic relationship when one partner expects the other to fulfill all their emotional, social, and personal needs. Such pressure is often unsustainable and can lead to dissatisfaction or even the relationship's collapse. Similarly, when we load all our expectations onto our jobs, we set ourselves—and our employers—up for disappointment.

Remember, this risk is more pronounced for those who are passionate about their work, so it's vital to understand that Being Passionate About Your Work Doesn't Always Mean Being Happy With Your Work.

Workplaces are being tasked with providing a sense of purpose, fostering community, facilitating social activism, and more. While creating a positive work environment is important, there's a limit to what an employer can and should provide. Unrealistic expectations can lead to feelings of frustration, disengagement, and burnout among employees.

This overreliance and concentrated expectation can lead to:

• Disillusionment: When work inevitably falls short of meeting every need, dissatisfaction grows.
• Burnout: Constantly seeking more from work can lead to emotional and physical exhaustion.
• Stunted Personal Growth: Neglecting other areas of life limits opportunities for holistic development.

AI Accelerates The Need To Diversify Fullfillment

As artificial intelligence continues to transform the workplace, it's becoming increasingly important to reassess where we find meaning and satisfaction in our lives. AI is automating tasks that were once integral to many professions, leading to shifts in job roles and responsibilities. While this technological advancement brings efficiency and opens new avenues for innovation, it also challenges our traditional sources of professional fulfillment.

As AI changes the value of our work and how our employers value it, this change demands that we better understand the value we get out of our workplace.

AI's rapid integration into the workplace accelerates the need to diversify our sources of fulfillment for several reasons:

• Evolving Job Roles: As AI reshapes industries, some roles may become obsolete while new ones emerge. Relying solely on work for identity and fulfillment becomes risky when job stability is uncertain.
• Reduced Human Interaction: Automation can reduce face-to-face communication and collaboration, reducing the sense of community at work.
• Increased Pressure to Upskill: The demand to continuously learn and adapt can be stressful and contribute to burnout if not managed properly.

The Case For Increasing Expectations On Work & Why Leaders Need to Address Skilling & Insecurity Around AI

This challenge rests on leaders and needs to be addressed for employees and organizations to thrive. While a simplification, most of the challenges today stem from leadership on one end saying they would not hire someone without AI skills (66% of leaders) while they fail to invest, implement, and train their employees on the other end (only 25% are planning to offer training on generative AI this year).

It is important to expect more from leaders and your work when it comes to navigating this changing AI-driven landscape. We should increase pressure and expectations in this area, as our workplaces are not doing enough.

Many feel imposter syndrome; it’s easy to feel insecure as a professional, especially as more of our work is remote, leading to greater feelings of isolation and self-doubt. It's actually more pronounced in leaders, as senior executives (65%) are more likely than early-stage professionals (33%) to exhibit signs of imposter syndrome. So executives and leadership should look to understand this and be able to help improve themselves, their teams, and their organizations.

In the industry as a technology professional, many of the people I work with focus on responsible AI enablement and the security risks that need to be addressed to make that happen. However, insecurity matters as much and needs to be addressed.

Almost no one talks about rising insecurity in the workplace and how AI is accelerating this in new ways.

In my recent TEDx talk on AI and Us, I discussed how the best value we derive from AI hinges on its ability to amplify our positive intent and strengthen healthy human-to-human relationships.

As we evaluate AI's impact at work, leaders need to consider how it strengthens employee connection, engagement, and the relationships between employees, managers, customers, and others. Employee relationships are an important factor in calculating and sustaining more value from AI at work and need to be considered.

This principle applies to our work lives as well. By bringing our best selves to work and fostering genuine connections, we enhance not just our own experience but also contribute positively to our workplace culture.

While employers need to do more here, this rapid change, driven by AI, means that we urgently need to redefine where we seek fulfillment and how we build connections, both inside and outside the workplace.

How To Take Action & Improve Our Relationship With Work

So, what do you think the solution is? The journey toward a more fulfilling work life begins with acknowledging that the employee matters, too, not just the employer, when we consider who is responsible for the employee experience.

While employers should continue striving to improve the employee experience, it's also important for individuals to take ownership of their well-being and the expectations they bring to their employer. If we want to lead healthier and happier lives, we should have greater expectations in many areas, but not in every area.

Embracing employee responsibility in the Employee Experience matters.

We must proactively work to continue rediscovering fulfillment beyond the office and embracing a multifaceted approach to life. By diversifying where we seek meaning, we reduce the pressure on our jobs to be our everything. By taking responsibility for our own fulfillment, we reduce the undue pressure placed on our employers and create a more sustainable relationship with work.

This holistic approach benefits both employees and organizations:

• For Employees: Leads to greater personal satisfaction, resilience, and overall well-being.
• For Employers: Results in more engaged, productive, and creative employees who contribute positively to the company culture.

What Can We Do To Change This For Ourselves?

To create or rediscover sources of joy and connection outside the workplace, consider:

• Self-Reflection: Consider whether you're expecting your job to meet needs that could be fulfilled elsewhere.
• Active Engagement: Participate proactively in workplace initiatives that genuinely interest you, but make time to participate in initiatives outside of work where possible for a more diverse mix.
• Setting Boundaries: Establish a healthy approach to work that allows time for personal pursuits.
• Rekindle Community Engagement: Join local clubs, volunteer organizations, or hobby groups. These activities offer a sense of belonging and can fulfill social and emotional needs that work cannot.
• Cultivate Personal Relationships: Invest time in friendships and family connections. Organize gatherings or simply spend quality time with loved ones.
• Pursue Personal Interests: Engage in hobbies or passions that bring you joy independent of your professional life. Whether it's painting, hiking, or playing an instrument, these activities enrich your life in unique ways.
• Leverage AI for Personal Growth: Use AI tools to enhance your personal development. From learning new skills to managing your time more effectively, AI can be a partner in your journey toward a more fulfilling life.

The Ripple Effect of Diversified Fulfillment

By seeking fulfillment from multiple sources, we not only enhance our personal well-being but also bring a more positive and engaged presence to our workplaces. Employees who lead rich, multifaceted lives are often more creative, resilient, and productive.

It's time to reconsider the immense weight many of us have placed on our jobs as the sole fulfillment providers. By diversifying where we find meaning—through community involvement, personal relationships, and individual passions—we alleviate the undue burden on our workplaces and ourselves.

This shift doesn't diminish the importance of meaningful work. Instead, it creates a more sustainable and enriching approach to life, where work is a significant but not all-consuming part.

As we navigate the evolving landscape shaped by AI and other technological advancements, embracing a multifaceted life will empower us to thrive both personally and professionally.

Your job title, responsibilities, and work style will change in the coming years—more than they have in your entire life.

Moreover, this approach aligns with the idea that AI and technology should serve as tools to enhance our human experience, not define it.

Let's challenge ourselves to step back and ask: Have we been asking too much of work, and what can we do to rediscover fulfillment beyond the workplace? The answers may lead us to a more balanced, satisfying, and human-centered existence.

Was that helpful to you? Please let me know your thoughts!

Want more like this from me beyond what I linked in this article?

• It's okay to say "Yes" too much.
• How To Handle Angry, Frustrated, Or Upset Co-Workers, Clients, Or Managers)
• We Should Pay Our People More...
• "Giving Advice" Should Be About The "Giving" Portion As Much As The "Advice" Portion