Empathy - What is it and why is it important for Paralegals to have it?

Empathy defined: The action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.

Sympathy?vs.?Empathy

Sympathy?and?empathy?both refer to a caring response to the emotional state of another person, but a distinction between them is typically made: while?sympathy?is a feeling of sincere concern for someone who is experiencing something difficult or painful,?empathy?involves actively sharing in the emotional experience of the other person.

What is the difference between?empathy?and?compassion?

Compassion?and?empathy?both refer to a caring response to someone else’s distress. While?empathy?refers to an active sharing in the emotional experience of the other person,?compassion?adds to that emotional experience a desire to alleviate the person’s distress.

Clearly it's easy these days to Google something and have an answer in seconds. Now that I've shared WHAT Empathy is and how it differs from Sympathy and Compassion, I'd like to discuss the IMPORTANCE of having Empathy while working as a Paralegal.

Empathy is a soft skill that is usually developed over time and begins at an early age. It's easier for some than others to grasp this concept and incorporate it into their everyday lives. Typically, this skill isn't taught in school, but it can be developed over time. I've listed some steps to help you get started in your development. Keep in mind, these steps are not all-inclusive and may be repeated or completed in any combination or order.

First, take some time to seriously consider what your biases are. Open your mind to move beyond what you view as "correct," to consider what others may believe or think. It's not a matter of changing your views to those of others, it's more about learning about others' views and accepting that others think differently than you. Which is a good thing. Imagine a world in which everyone had the same beliefs, views, and thoughts. How boring would that be?

Second, observe. What could be more easy than that? Don't forget to include observance of those who show you empathy. Take note of what others do when they are comforting or showing empathy. Take note too of what others are not doing or saying. Sometimes silence is all that is needed.

Third, sit with your feelings and thoughts. Give yourself time to process how you react to experiences. Pay attention to the feelings you're having. Generally, it's a good idea to sleep on it. Our subconscious is a mysteriously wonderful realm.

Finally, don't be afraid to express your thoughts or feelings. The point isn't to make relationships more awkward or difficult, or to try to get people to come around to your way of thinking, rather it's to help you connect on a deeper level. Embrace that you may have differences of opinion, but that doesn't make you enemies or foes.

Getting back to empathy being a soft skill paralegals should possess, personally I can attest to connecting on a deeper and more personal level with many clients. For the most part, people want to know that they are being listened to and really heard. No disrespect to any attorneys, but they are busy professionals with little time alloted to be on long phone calls or typing e-mails back and forth with clients, and that's okay. Attorneys should be doing attorney work; that's what they're trained (and paid) to do. That's not to say they shouldn't be aware of their clients' feelings and express empathy.

I'm also not saying paralegals are not as busy as attorneys (of course we are), but paralegals can assist in building the bridge between the attorney/firm and its professional staff in order to make the client understand the legal process their going through and feel comfortable. Again, from experience, clients don't always understand why they aren't getting much one-on-one time with their attorneys. Afterall, that's who they hired, right? Well, yes and no. They hired the lawyer, but in reality they hired the law firm which usually includes a team of legal professionals. That said, it's imperative that a paralegal be well versed on how to explain to clients that they can be trusted with their most private details pertaining to the matter at hand as if they were discussing it with their attorney. In a perfect world, the attorneys would take care of explaining this during an initial client introduction, but we all know there is no such thing as a perfect world. Paralegals should make it a part of their initial conversation with new clients to not only introduce themselves, but to provide insight as to what the client can expect as their case proceeds.

How do we as paralegals achieve all of the above?

To begin, it's essential paralegals try not to take what clients say personally. That can be difficult at times, but remember, people usually hire attorneys for something traumatic or life-altering, like a catastrophic accident, the loss of a job due to injury or unethical means, a contract gone bad, a divorce, or death of a loved one. Emotions are high and clear thinking isn't occurring. It may seem like the client is taking their frustrations or anger out on you, but they really just want answers and results. Remember to stay focused on the tasks at hand and what it is you're trying to help your attorney and client achieve.

Paralegals are not therapists! Let me say that again -- Paralegals are not therapists! Just like paralegals are not licensed to provide legal advice, neither are they licensed to provide mental health therapy. It is not up to paralegals or any legal professional to shoulder all of the emotional frustrations and anxiety that comes from clients going through terrible times. However, the rewards received from a client who expresses appreciation at the end of their case is well worth the extra effort in practicing even just a little empathy, not to mention the internal personal reward of knowing you did a good job.

Practicing Empathy:

Some steps paralegals can take to let clients know they are cared about and that their legal team is fully engaged in helping them through their legal issues are: (1) remind clients that they are an essential and useful element in moving their case forward; (2) gently parse out the facts from clients by staying on track and focusing on details; (3) let your clients know you understand how they feel by actively listening and responding to their questions in a respectful and reliable manner; (4) be a point of contact for your clients and provide an overview of what they can expect as their case progresses; (5) briefly explain the legal process for their specific type of matter so they understand the steps and time-line involved; (6) practice active listening (a biggie), react without bias, validate feelings, build trust, and de-escalate over-reactions if possible; (7) provide proactive empathy that prompts your clients to think about solutions rather than dwell on the negative impacts they're feeling; (8) offer to step away from a call, meeting, or e-mail to allow time to regroup and process before readjourning; (9) communicate brief status updates to avoid frequent interruptions from clients, and explain that the necessary work needed to stay on top of their case cannot be done when continued interruptions occur; (10) stay calm, don't argue, but don't accept disrespectful or bad behavior, and certainly do not become a doormat; (12) communicate that unacceptable behavior is a disruption and is not productive in moving the case forward; and last, but not least (11) take care of yourself by developing strategies to help you manage second-hand stress and your mental health such as meditation or taking short breaks. Try to leave your work at work when you are off the clock.

Many of the above tips can be found within the below article. I added some of my own tips and/or twists of those in the article based on my own personal experiences, but do refer to it for more details.

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