Empathy and Validation: How to Change Deeply Held Beliefs

Originally posted on Stevenreuter.com

I love this quote by Larry Whitmore during an interview:

"My opinion always changes with the facts."

I think this is true for the majority of us. People's opinions often change when confronted with new facts. But, when an opinion is deeply tied to one's sense of self, changing it requires more than just presenting facts and figures. It requires heart work.

It's no small thing to join with someone in a way that may change an opinion that holds some notion of themselves. We need to approach the moment with the same reverence as we would hope others do for us.

It's not about proving someone wrong. Instead, it's an invitation to consider all available data, encouraging an open-minded examination of the evidence. These moments demand that we also scrutinize our own beliefs with the same deference to the evidence.

Resistance to new ideas often stems from a perceived threat to one's sense of self or worldview. In these circumstances, resistance is a defensive reaction, not an obstinate refusal of facts. When people feel their identity is under siege, simply scolding them or dismissing their fears only entrenches them in their position. We must recognize that, in their view, there is a clear and present danger that must be addressed.

To effectively communicate and foster change, we must first empathize with the concerns that fuel their resistance. Sitting with them in their fear and seeking to understand what they believe they are defending against is crucial. Validation of their experience is the first step in the process of relinquishing what we thought to be true and take up a new reality.

The process of changing deeply held beliefs requires patience and empathy. It’s about creating a space where people feel safe to explore new ideas without feeling attacked.? The goal is to bridge divides and cultivate connections. When we approach others with compassion and a genuine desire to understand, we lay the foundation for meaningful dialogue and lasting change.

It is in these moments of shared humanity that we find the strength to transform resistance into acceptance and fear into trust.

Our true power to change minds lies not in the force of our arguments but in the depth of our empathy. Through careful and considerate engagement, we can help others navigate their fears and find reassurance in the truth. In doing so, we contribute to a more understanding and connected world, where differing opinions are not seen as threats, but as opportunities for growth and unity.