Empathy and tough decisions
An awkward challenge for many leaders is being empathic and sustaining trust when they have to make decisions that can cost people their jobs.
There is no silver bullet that will make this experience an easy one, but a first suggestion is to listen. When you need to deliver discouraging news, having the courtesy and investing the time to listen to the other person will help defuse the situation. In a difficult moment it conveys consideration and professional respect. The suggestion: explain your decision clearly, then be prepared to listen.
Listening is the foundation of personal empathy. And listening thoughtfully to others in their moments of stress can help you reconcile your natural empathy with the fact that leaders sometimes need to make and justify difficult decisions.
Listening well is a discipline and an art, and there are valid reasons a leader might not listen effectively: the pressures of decision-making, a packed schedule, the temptations of technology and multi-tasking, and a perceived lack of time, among others. Or we may just prefer to avoid an uncomfortable situation, that of seeing another person in pain.
But these can be moments for leadership as well as compassion. If we can slow down and focus on their concerns, suspending our agendas and priorities for even a few moments, we begin to see a shift in communication, even under difficult circumstances. That individual will feel heard and acknowledged, and it can make a real difference.
A second important reminder: perceived motives are important. Most people will give you the benefit of the doubt if they believe you are doing your best and trying to do the right thing. There may be considerable debate about what constitutes the ‘right thing’, but people will usually give you a chance if they think your motives are good.
But if someone is perceived as selfish, opportunistic, ‘political’, or untrustworthy, it is going to be more difficult to build empathy and trust. A thoughtful, self-aware leader needs to understand and acknowledge his or her personal motivations and anticipate how their leadership decisions are going to be perceived by others.
Thus three tips for remaining empathic while executing tough decisions: Remember that genuine leaders won’t always be popular. Your motives and perceived motives are important. And as always, listen well.
Click on the link below to learn more about reconciling empathy with difficult messages.
Mark Brown is a leadership educator and author based in Lisbon, Portugal. He likes to swim and play the piano, but not at the same time.
Contact Mark at www.time4clarity.com.