Empathy is no longer the most important workplace skill. It isn’t enough

For years, I believed that one of the most important skills for a leader, or any worker really, was empathy. But that is no longer true. Now, I believe it to be compassion.

Which begs the question, what’s the difference? The answer is better understood by examining three words – sympathy, empathy and compassion.

Sympathy is cognitive; it is equivalent to “I understand your problem.” It is when you feel sorry for the person who has experienced a hardship. It usually translates into pity, and while it may be an admirable emotion, it does nothing for the individual who is in physical or emotional discomfort.

Empathy is emotional. It is equivalent to “I feel what you feel.” It goes further than sympathy in that you deliberately try to put yourself in the other person’s position. When you can understand and acknowledge the distress being felt by the other person, it can be helpful to them. Which is why empathy has always been an important workplace skill. It allows you to build a deeper relationship with an individual that goes beyond just the inconsequential. And that leads to healthier workplaces.

Compassion goes beyond empathy. It includes a motivational or active component; it is equivalent to “I want to help you out of this.” It is when you not only experience empathy, but you (try to) take action to alleviate the other person’s difficulty or pain, whether it is physical or emotional. In the case of trauma, it could be holding someone’s hand and sitting in silence, bringing a warm blanket or offering a meal. In the case of a workplace difficulty, it could be offering resources, brainstorming solutions or even just listening attentively. Compassion takes empathy to a whole different level. It creates an environment in which people are more likely to recognize and appreciate others sincerely, and to work to benefit your organization in addition to themselves. It makes people feel like they are part of a team. It reduces pressure and anxiety, as well as makes them more resilient to stress and burnout. All outcomes that would make any workplace better.

Yet, there are the naysayers who may say compassionate people are viewed as weak and are vulnerable to being taken advantage of. ........

This was originally published as one of my regular columns in The Globe and Mail on September 29, 2023. If you have a subscription, you can read the rest on their site here: https://bit.ly/3PZLRCb . And if you don't, a pdf version is archived here: https://www.turningmanagersintoleaders.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/GM_ManagementOnline_092923.pdf