Empathy in Leadership: Helping Your Team Navigate Uncertain Times

I don't remember much about my second-period accounting class senior year. I remember constantly confusing "debits" with "credits" and voicing, more than once, that it was illogical trying to do balance sheets by hand with a calculator when software existed to balance them for us.

The thing that I remember most about accounting is the morning of September 11, 2001, when my friends and I shuffled into the classroom, confused and concerned about what we'd just watched unfold on TV in New York and D.C., scared about what was happening and what might happen next.

The teacher (whose name I can't remember), said, "Alright, I know the airplanes. Put that aside; we have work to do."

Incredulous, my classmates and I decided that we most certainly did not. A handful of us left the classroom and searched for one of those rolling TV carts to watch the coverage unfold. We set up shop in the empty choir room next door and watched, shellshocked, for what was probably hours. Long past the end of the class we'd ditched.

Do I think the teacher was apathetic to the unfolding terrorist attacks? Of course not. I'm sure she was stressed out too, and she was likely dealing with things in the way she thought was best at the time. A kind of "keep calm and carry on" approach to income statements. But to us, at the time, it felt like grave indifference. One we never forgot, which colored the way we thought about her for the rest of the semester.?

When you're in a leadership position, employees watch even more closely in uncertain times. As humans, when we aren't sure how to react or what to do, we take cues from those we trust.?

Most leaders aren't given instruction manuals for navigating turbulent times. When shocking or appalling things unfold in the world, it can be easy to lose sight of the fact that WE are being watched. Our words — or lack of words — matter. Our actions matter. And employees will remember how you made them feel for a very, very long time — long after they've forgotten the work of the day.

In times when it seems impossible to escape news of atrocities happening all around us, it's important to remember that your employees don't have an "emotional off switch" to activate during working hours. Your team can't take care of your customers if they don't feel taken care of by you.

Today's newsletter is an attempt to help you navigate talking about the Israel-Hamas War and, in general, all of the unpredictable events sure to follow. It isn't perfect, but perfection isn't the target in moments like these — humanity and empathy are.

I hope you join me in praying for and supporting those around the world facing unthinkable horrors. And, closer to home, I hope you'll join me in saying something to help your employees feel seen and supported, even if it's incomplete or imperfect.

Address the Elephant in the Room

As a leader, the last thing you want to do is completely ignore the current events and pretend that everything is business as usual. We all know there’s no emotional ‘off-switch’ that your team can activate when they walk through the door of your office. Depending on the culture of your organization, the CEO, the head of HR, or another trustworthy executive should be prepared to address the news.

Whether it’s through a company-wide meeting or newsletter, let your team know that you’re aware of the events that are going on in the world and are sensitive to the emotional impact of the situation. By acknowledging the crisis, you’re letting your employees know that you are concerned about their realities outside of the office and are prepared to provide support to them during difficult times.

Many leaders avoid making statements out of fear of saying the wrong thing; however, when you don’t acknowledge the situation, your employees can interpret this silence as a dismissal of their feelings or an out-of-touch organization that isn’t capable of leading the team through adversity. Or, worse, they may see it as leadership apathy or indifference to an issue that is of great importance to them.

Before you communicate news in a meeting or press send on a company-wide email — about this latest geo-political crisis or any other major event — consult a few trusted partners or resources to ensure that your statements are factual, compassionate, sensitive, and most of all… not tone-deaf. Here are some guiding principles to help:?

Be Flexible

Every employee is unique and responds to a crisis differently. To the extent that you can, be flexible with time off, remote work options, or adjusted schedules so that everyone can cope with the situation effectively. A supportive and flexible approach sends a strong message that you value your employees' well-being over the company’s bottom line.?

In his book, Never Lose An Employee Again, Joey Coleman addresses the challenge of navigating personal loss in the workplace. He spoke with Tracey Ivanyshyn, head of Good Grief at Work, and shared her recommendations for how to manage when an employee experiences the loss of a loved one. I’ve summarized her tips below:

• Identify a grief ally: Instead of having the employee recount their upsetting news to multiple coworkers, customers, and vendor partners, a grief ally will facilitate all communication on their behalf (unless the employee wants to handle it on their own, of course).
• Create a grief plan: Ivanyshyn reminds us that everyone copes with grief differently: “‘Some people would be so touched if their work family came to a funeral or celebration of life, while others would find that intrusive and only want immediate family involved.’” (223).? As a leader, remind your team to be respectful of the employee’s wishes and share your recommendations for how to best support them.?

Foster Open Communication:

Distressing world events can make employees feel isolated, overwhelmed, and helpless. Open communication helps them realize they are not alone in their feelings, as others may be experiencing similar emotions. This sense of shared experience can be comforting.

Encourage an open-door policy and let your employees know that you're there to support them. Actively listen to their concerns and create a safe space for them to express themselves.?

At the same time, it’s important to communicate that threatening, hateful, or accusatory language will not be tolerated. When global events pull at deeply rooted divisions, it’s more critical than ever for the leadership to double down on the things your team can do to unite your employees as one.

Provide or Curate Resources

Sharing helpful resources for your team will further demonstrate that you care about them. Here are a few places to start:

• Share trusted news outlets: There’s a chance that your message to the company is the first time an employee is learning about a tragic event. Share the platforms or articles that you trust for updates and accurate context. Always warn your employees if the resources you’re recommending have graphic footage.
• Support their families: Some of your employees may have children and are therefore managing the emotional well-being of their families in addition to their own. Consider sharing a resource like this one from Nickelodeon that teaches parents how to talk to kids about difficult current events.??
• Establish an employee assistance program: If your company has an employee assistance program, remind them of the services available to them. Establish a support group for anyone that’s interested in sharing their experiences.?
• Offers ways to help: Share a list of ways that people can provide support to the community. If you’re able to, let your employees know that you’ll match any donation that they make.?
• Curate mental health tools: Recommend apps like Calm, Talkspace, or Headspace for self-help as well as crisis hotlines for immediate assistance.?

The ongoing Israel-Hamas War and the ever-present challenges around the world underscore the importance of empathy, support, and flexibility in leadership. I hope this newsletter helps you create a workplace where employees can find solace during challenging times. If you have any other tips or resources that you’ve found helpful, please share them with me.

Thank you for everything you do to provide stability to your team during this and other turbulent, trying times. I hope you join me in ongoing prayers for everyone impacted, both directly and indirectly, by these atrocities.