Empathy - How much is too much?

The most popular cliché of all times is "be in your customer's shoes!" For decades, there has been a push to be empathetic to customers , and 'listen' rather than 'hear' their problems. But often, we realize that we end up underplaying or overplaying the part.

You would have come across situations like this in your daily life. Lets take an example - you have owned a refrigerator for more than a decade and it has provided you with the best service. There was no need for you to look for a newer one until now, when you feel that you need extra space, or if the lifetime of the refrigerator is nearing its end, or something more. When you start scouting the market for a new one, you would have obviously made a checklist of features or functionality that you would like to have. There might be the obvious possibility that you perhaps are not aware of the technological advancements over these 10 years in the refrigerator segment, which gets us to the point - is your list of feature requirements in sync with what is available in the contemporary market? So in the end, you perhaps want to visit a few stores to understand whether your specific requirements are feasible or not.

I have created a conversation log below to explain on varying levels of empathy.

Store #1 - Lousy storekeeper

You: I am looking to buy a new fridge, my old one has a host of issues and is more than a decade old. But I wanted to check if the new models have these features or requirements that I need?

Storekeeper: 3rd aisle and far-end, that's where all the refrigerators are. I ain't an engineer to know all the workings of a fridge! Just choose whatever suits you...we are running a discount of 10% if you pay by cash and an exchange offer as well. We accept cash only.

You: [left dumbfounded.....left store]

Store #2 - Limited, brand-focused setup, but high on apathy!

You: I am looking to buy a new fridge, my old one has a host of issues and is more than a decade old. But I wanted to check if the new models have these features or requirements that I need?

Storekeeper: We do have refrigerators, but we have limited models from Yabadabadoo brand only, you can check them. I cannot see if all your requirements fit.

You: Would you be able to suggest which other brands can I check that would fit my needs?

Storekeeper: Sorry I can't. We are a premium reseller for YYYY only and I don't want to stir them up by driving our customers away! You are free to check at other places if you do not like YYYY.

You: Could you at the least see my requirements list and tell me if your brand has some match? You see, I have a constraint of-

Storekeeper: That's alright! I don't really need to check your list. We have sold 170 pieces last month and most customers had the same set of requirements as you! I am sure YYYY will definitely fit your needs...

You: [possibly stayed at the store, possibly not!]

Store #3 - Decent lineup of products, but misplaced empathies

You: I am looking to buy a new fridge, my old one has a host of issues and is more than a decade old. But I wanted to check if the new models have these features or requirements that I need?

Storekeeper: We do have a wide-range of refrigerators to suit customers from different segments. We are the best in this whole area and our after-sales services are ranked as top according to the recent survey done by the local xyz magazine. I am sure you won't have to visit another store in search of a refrigerator! I will even add a free home-delivery and set-up for you.

I can help you show around the section where they are, and may be a few easy general buying tips, but can we skip going through your entire list? There is a specification sheet hanging next to each of refrigerators that you can refer to know more about that model. Can I get you some coffee while you are checking out the refrigerators? A few cookies perhaps?

You: [possibly stayed at the store to check out a few models as the store keeper was offering free coffee and cookies! eventually went to another store to finalise purchase]

Store #4 - Great lineup of products, just the right kind of empathy

You: I am looking to buy a new fridge, my old one has a host of issues and is more than a decade old. But I wanted to check if the new models have these features or requirements that I need?

Storekeeper: You have come at the right time! We just received a fresh stock of new models yesterday and they are already on the aisles for our customers to check out. May I know your budget range or anything specific that you are looking for?

You: That's nice! I actually brought with me a list of needs, you see my family has quite many demands on how they want the new refrigerator to be! Would you be able to help me choose a model that suits me? More importantly, before we go on checking out the models, would you be kind enough to go through my list and let me know if my requirement is rightly positioned? I am sorry the list is wee bit long!

Storekeeper: No worries at all. Would be happy to go through your list first. That way, I can tell you whether your requirements and budget match current market values or not. Also, I will be able to direct you to specific items that have a closer match with your list. This will save you a lot of time on selecting the right one.

You: That sounds good to me. I don't want to read through specs of each model, trying to match them to my requirements. Its just not my cup of tea! Do you have any pricing offers as well? I can make a credit card payment, but was also interested in installment option if the interest is nil or low.

Storekeeper: Indeed we do, but I would recommend matching your need to the model specification first. Once you have shortlisted a few, I would be able to guide you on offers available on those models that will be suitable for you.

You: [possibly stayed at the store, and keen to make a deal here as the store seemed to give all the right signals]

Store #5 - Extremely sticky guy! The kind who literally take "being with the customer on their journey" very seriously!

You: I am looking to buy a new fridge, my old one has a host of issues and is more than a decade old. But I wanted to check if the new models have these features or requirements that I need?

Storekeeper: I would love to show you all the models that are even remotely fitting your description! Let me explain you the models. As I understand from your requirement - You are in need of a refrigerator! Now as luck would have it, I have refrigerator in stock. Let me pull in a chair for your and get coffee. Or tea? Okay, so I understand that you need a new fridge as your current one is more than a decade old and you have also made a list of features that you are looking for in the new fridge. Am I correct? Please do let me know if my understanding is correct. I can completely understand how painful it is when a faithful old fridge dies that way. But please do not worry, I am here to help you and I will ensure that you will buy a fridge. I will walk with you on each aisle on all floors and show you all models that we have. We can map your list to all the models one by one so that I can provide you with the very best model! Your feedback for each model that we checkout is undoubtedly important to us. We have the latest models and I am eager to show all of them to you!

You: [browsed a few models, with the storekeeper tagging close at heels, then you got irritated and left]

To end the note...

I have tried to structure the conversation logs so as to match the apathy/empathy differentiations in my endeavor to present a story line to you! I believe many of us would have been through similar situations as a 'customer'. I also believe it is essential to focus on a consultative mindset that will eventually lead to the right level of empathy, followed by a "walk the talk" phase.

Keen to hear your opinions and from your experience!