Empathy is better than auto-correct.

Does this sound familiar?

You’re writing out a text message and you begin typing in the words. Then, for some reason, AUTO CORRECT changes what you typed in. 

It basically says to you “No, that’s not what you meant to say. This is really the word/spelling that works better."

Here’s the problem….I did type in the word that I wanted. 

AUTO CORRECT just doesn’t have this word in it’s dictionary and can’t recognize it. It’s telling me that my word is WRONG.

To break it down, your phone is not able to show empathy toward you, your feelings, and the message you are trying to convey.

This lack of empathy is what I am seeing all over social media and hearing about in too many organizations.

At its core, empathy is acknowledging while you may not understand the other person’s perspective, you want to support them in the emotion they are trying to express.

Instead of telling someone a “better” way to explain their pain, or try to give them a “gentler” way of expressing their feelings, you can instead say –

“I hear how much this hurts you. How can I support you?”

It’s just that simple. You can also say –

“I can’t imagine what this is like for you right now, but I want you to know that I’m here to listen.”

“Do you have any thoughts on what we can do to change this?”

(later on) “I’ve been thinking about what you shared with me and I wanted to check back in and see how you’re doing.”

Empathy is a main ingredient to Emotional Intelligence. If you recognize there is a lot of tension and poor communication within your organization, it’s quite probable that many of your employees have low emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is broken down into four parts. Each part is necessary to have a collaborative work environment, healthy communication, and respect for differences.

Self-Awareness - Your ability to accurately perceive your own emotions in the moment and understand your tendencies across situations. Self-awareness will help you tap into your own feelings of discomfort that have been bought up from hearing your co-workers’ pain, anger or challenges.

Self-Management - Your ability to use your awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and direct your behavior positively. This helps you to manage your emotional reactions to situations and people, instead of allowing your emotions to drive how you interact with others. You’re also able to make a conscious decision to lean in more to your co-worker’s experience and not impulsively respond from your own. 

Social Awareness - Your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and understand what is really going on with them...... even if you do not feel the same way. Social awareness helps you to first focus on the emotion so you can then connect to the pain point/problem area. You may not be able to “relate” to what they are sharing, but social awareness will help you “respond” in a healthy and supportive manner.

Relationship Management - Brings together the first three areas and helps you to effectively communicate, work together toward common goals, manage conflicts, be a change agent, and build healthy bonds with others. Relationship management is a key skill for leaders.

People are in pain.

As an organization it’s your responsibility to create an environment of psychological safety and not re-traumatize those who are trying the best they can to heal their own pain, while still fulfilling their personal and professional responsibilities.

If your organization is need of Emotional Intelligence training or coaching, now is the time to book a consultation with me. Go to: https://EricaNReed.as.me/

Erica N. Reed, LCSW-C is a Psychotherapist and Corporate Trainer, specializing in teaching organizations how to focus on the human side of business. 

Erica’s post training evaluations and follow-up calls indicate attendees consistently implement the techniques and strategies taught and have demonstrated growth and development in the areas of emotional intelligence, communication skills, collaborative efforts, stress management, mental health and effective leadership. Managers report they feel better prepared to have “difficult conversations” with their team members and have learned to adopt coaching strategies to increase engagement and performance.