Empathic Listening
Charles Anderson
Peak-Performance Sales Coach - I help experienced B2B sales professionals fast-track their sales success by Conquering the Battles Within. Please text me at 339-927-2746 for a complimentary sales planning call.
I often ask my clients what “empathy” means to them. When I do, I get dozens of different answers, many of which veer far from their true meaning. So before we go further, let’s define the word.
According to Wikipedia, empathy?is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within the other being’s frame of reference, i.e., the ability to place oneself in another’s position.
Empathic listening is a structured listening and questioning technique that allows individuals to develop and enhance relationships with a more robust understanding of what is conveyed intellectually and emotionally.
Stephen R. Covey, the author of?The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, summarizes the heart of empathic listening: “Seek first to understand.” Covey describes this listening as a profound paradigm shift, as most people force their perspective before attempting to listen.
Empathic listening.
This type of listening includes the mechanics of active listening and takes the listener a step further. The empathic listener begins with the intent to immerse themselves fully in the other person and what they are experiencing and feeling.
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This listening requires the listener to use their eyes, ears, and heart.
An empathic listener works to keep the speaker from feeling or becoming defensive. To do so, the listener must put aside subjective views and values and suspend their ego to enter their world. They refrain from disputing what is being said or arguing about what is right or wrong.
Covey describes it as “emptying ourselves of the need to be right.” Whether or not someone is right or wrong can be debated later. The empathic person must know themselves well and be solidly grounded enough to avoid getting lost in the other person’s reality.?
One way to approach this shift in thinking is to replace judgment with curiosity. Curiosity shifts perspectives, allowing us to look at the situation from a different vantage point.
If the speaker asks for your input, be honest. But refrain from sharing information that will intentionally escalate the emotional intensity of the other person.?
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