Emotions and Stress: Inside Out

Out of all the workshops I've led, stress and emotions consistently come up as the most puzzling concepts. They feel like a tangled mess, leaving you wondering where to start and how to start improving. Well, I hear you! And with the recent release of Inside Out 2, a movie that beautifully explores our emotional landscape, I thought this was the perfect time to delve deeper into the connection between stress and emotions. By understanding this link, we can become better equipped to handle the inevitable emotional rollercoaster of our VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous) or BANI (Brittle, Anxious, Non-linear, Incomprehensible) world, depending on your preferred acronym.

We'll be using a framework called the 4 Stages of Competence to understand how our awareness of stress and emotions evolves, and a reimagining of Kolb's Experiential Learning Cycle that incorporates Robert Plutchik's fascinating theory of emotions. This theory, visualized as an "Emotion Wheel," will guide us through the process of expanding our emotional vocabulary and building resilience.

Stage 1: Unconscious Incompetence (The Numb Zone)

Think about the first time you rode a bike. You probably weren't aware of the intricate balancing act happening beneath you. Similarly, many of us initially exist in a state of "unconscious incompetence" regarding stress and emotions. We might experience constant fatigue, muscle tension, or irritability, but dismiss them as just part of life. We haven't yet learned to connect these physical cues to the underlying emotional currents.

Stage 2: Conscious Incompetence (The Aha! Moment)

A pivotal event, like a heated argument or a health scare, can jolt us awake. Suddenly, we become aware of the pent-up emotions simmering beneath the surface. This "aha!" moment, while initially overwhelming, is crucial. It signifies the start of our journey towards self-awareness.

Stage 3: Conscious Competence (Learning to Label with Nuance)

This is where things get exciting! We begin actively learning about stress and emotions. Techniques from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be incredibly helpful here. CBT helps us identify negative thought patterns that contribute to stress and anxiety. Mindfulness practices like body scans can also be transformative, allowing us to become more aware of the physical sensations associated with emotions.

Here's where Robert Plutchik's Emotion Wheel comes into play. This wheel proposes eight basic emotions: joy, sadness, anger, fear, surprise, disgust, trust, and anticipation. These basic emotions can then combine to form more complex emotional states. For instance, envy might be a blend of anger and sadness, while optimism could be a combination of joy and anticipation.

By understanding these emotional dyads (pairs), we can significantly expand our emotional vocabulary. Imagine being able to say, "I feel a blend of disappointment and shame" after a project setback, instead of simply saying "stressed." This level of detail allows for more targeted coping mechanisms and better communication with others.

Stage 4: Unconscious Competence (Acceptance and Integration)

Imagine yourself calmly navigating a stressful meeting, thanks to the deep breathing exercises and mental preparation you did beforehand. This is where recognizing and responding to stress and emotions becomes second nature. We learn to accept them as a normal part of life and integrate them into our self-awareness, managing them effectively.

Expanding Your Emotional Vocabulary with the Emotion Wheel

Now, let's explore how Kolb's Experiential Learning Cycle, infused with Plutchik's Emotion Wheel, can help us expand our emotional vocabulary, a key component of self-awareness:

Concrete Experience:

Start by simply observing your daily life. Notice situations that trigger physical sensations or mood swings. Are there specific tasks, environments, or people who consistently make you feel tense or sluggish? Pay close attention to your body's signals and how they correlate with your emotional state. For instance, a clenched jaw and racing heart might indicate underlying anxiety, while a pit in your stomach could signal dread or apprehension.

Reflective Observation:

Take time to reflect on these experiences. Ask yourself questions like "What happened?", "How did I feel?", and "What was I thinking in that moment?". Journaling can be a powerful tool for self-discovery. By reflecting, you can start to identify the root causes of your stress and emotional responses. Perhaps you realize that looming deadlines trigger feelings of overwhelm, while arguments with loved ones lead to frustration and anger.

Abstract Conceptualization:

This is where learning resources come in handy. Explore CBT tools, mindfulness apps, or even emotional intelligence books. As you learn about different emotions and stress responses, can you identify patterns in your own experiences? Perhaps you discover that bottling up envy (anger + sadness) leads to sudden outbursts later. The key here is to connect the dots between your thoughts, emotions (using the Emotion Wheel to identify the specific blend), and physical sensations. The more you understand these connections, the better equipped you become to manage your emotional state.

Active Experimentation:

Now it's time to put theory into practice. Experiment with relaxation techniques like deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation. When feeling stressed, try to identify the underlying emotions using the Emotion Wheel. Is it a touch of anxiety (fear + anticipation) or disappointment (sadness + surprise)? This awareness allows you to choose a targeted coping mechanism. Maybe deep breathing helps with anxiety, while journaling your frustrations can help you process them and prevent outbursts.

Remember:

• Expanding your emotional vocabulary is crucial. Initially, many of us have a limited range of words to describe our feelings. With practice, you'll discover a richer vocabulary based on the Emotion Wheel. Imagine being able to say, "I feel a sense of hopeful anticipation" before a job interview, instead of simply saying "nervous." This level of detail allows for more targeted coping mechanisms and better communication with others.

• Improvement isn't linear. There will be setbacks. Accept that some days will be tougher than others. There will be times you fall back into old patterns. Be kind to yourself throughout the process. Celebrate your victories, no matter how small, and acknowledge your efforts.

Remember, self-awareness is a lifelong journey, and every step forward is a step in the right direction.

By embracing these frameworks and embarking on this experiential journey, you'll gain a deeper understanding of your stress and emotions. You'll be better equipped to navigate the inevitable emotional rollercoaster of life, feeling more empowered and resilient.

So, take a deep breath, and let's begin this adventure together!