Emotions

“If your emotional abilities aren't in hand, if you don't have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions if you can't have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” Daniel Goleman, author, psychologist, and science journalist.?

Emotions are part of human biology. They are chemicals that help regulate our minds and bodies, assisting us to cope with the complexities of making decisions, interacting with people, and finding our way through life. If emotions are part of us, how can we learn to use them well? Emotions?occur in response to our interpretation of a specific trigger. It takes our brains about 25 seconds to identify the trigger and about another 25 seconds to produce the emotion. Emotion chemicals are released throughout our bodies, not just in our brains. They last for about 6 seconds.?Then they turn into feelings. And feelings turn into our mood.

According to Robert Plutchik, creator of Wheel of Emotions, there are eight primary emotions – and countless variations and nuances. These are Joy, Sadness, Fear, Disgust, Surprise, Anticipation, Anger, and Trust. The two emotions which stand on our way to success are fear and anger.

We do not control emotions consciously. The part of the brain that deals with emotions evolved early on in human history, making it relatively primitive. This explains why an emotional response is often fairly straightforward but powerful: you want to cry, run away, or shout. These responses are based on the need to survive. Emotions are strongly linked to memory and experience. If something bad has previously happened to you, your emotional response to the same stimulus will likely be strong. Emotions are also closely linked to values: you respond emotionally if your key values have been challenged. Understanding this link to memory and values gives you the key to managing your emotional response.

We cannot control emotions when they are already triggered, but we can do some things in our everyday lives to minimize them. These things are:

• Being kind to others. This helps stop you from worrying about yourself.
• Being open and accept what is going on around you. Learn to appreciate what is happening and avoid excessive criticism of others or situations.
• Spending time with people whose company you enjoy.
• Challenging negative thoughts by looking for evidence against them.
• Being in the fresh air, especially around nature.
• Being grateful: thank people in person for doing nice things for you and remember it.
• Noticing the good things in your life, count your blessings.

If you need help with managing emotions at the workplace, don't hesitate to get in touch with me or schedule a free consultation call.

Being smarter with emotions means paying attention to them. We need to practice EI by pausing & noticing, by being intentional about how we show up.