Emotions

"Emotions are the language of the soul." - Karla Mclaren

It's good to be back. After a hiatus to relax with the family, it's time to get back in the saddle. To all my friends in the United States, I hope you enjoyed the Independence Day Holiday, and my best to all of you, wherever in the world you may be, as we press pass the midpoint of this most unusual summer.

Emotions. I know. Many of you are ready to click somewhere else, right now. As fast as you can. But I said we were going back to The Four Forces (Emotions, Energy, Thoughts and Time), and I hope you stick with me today, and in the days and weeks to come. We talk often about putting our "hearts and souls" into things, and to let our souls "speak" as Mclaren suggests, emotions are the "words" that bring or souls to life. And if emotions are a language, then, like our words (most of the time), we can "control or influence" what others "hear".

If I go back to Wilde's words from a few weeks ago, "I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions - I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them," the idea of "using" our emotions connotes conscious control of, and decisions related to, the emotions we feel, share and show. And if we're going to use them, we better know what they are.

In the days to come, we will explore ten emotional "pairs": love/hate, hope/despair, pride/shame, awe/disdain, joy/sorrow, serenity/agitation, amusement/boredom, gratitude/callousness, inspiration/discouragement, and interest/apathy. These "pairs" all exist on a spectrum, of liberating to controlling - love can liberate (allowing us to think, imagine, do, lead and thrive) those who love, while hate can control (limiting what we do, how we do it, and how we think) those who hate. And consciously controlling, or managing, these pairs is an active choice of one side of the spectrum over the other.

To emote interest, we choose it over apathy, to emote joy, we choose it over sorrow, and so on. As I noted previously, don't think good or bad (joy is good, sorrow is bad), think what is appropriate or needed at the time. If you lose a loved one, sorrow is necessary - we must mourn to heal, but as time passes on a schedule unique to everyone and every situation, the choice of sorrow must yield to the choice of joy, lest we spiral into a vortex of despair. And it doesn't mean periods of sorrow (or mourning) can't be filled with moments of joy to ease the hurt and pain.

The critical point, in all of this, is that we do not have to be hostage to our emotions - but if we don't want to be hostage to them, if we want to use them, to master them, we have to actively manage them. But let me make an important distinction. In all of this, I'm talking about authentic emotions - the external manifestation of one's real internal feelings. Not manufactured emotions. Those don't help everyone, and more often than not, are as apparent to the person witnessing them, as they are to the person "emoting" them.

So why all this time on our emotions? Because they are essential to living our shared purpose - to thrive together. If we are going to thrive together, we must live together, share together, hope together, intuit together and strive together, and our emotions are a far more powerful language than any collection of words can ever be. But if we are going to thrive together, we must bring our real emotions, and the right emotions, to each interaction. We'll see you tomorrow!