Emotionally Preparing for Your Book Launch: What Every Author Needs to Know

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This week’s post is a bit different, but this topic has been on my mind for some time. I’d love to hear your thoughts and reactions, especially if you’ve experienced something similar.

We often don’t talk about how lonely and isolating it can be to put yourself out there in a big way. Writing on social media, publishing a newsletter, getting up on a stage, starting a business—all these things can make us feel quite vulnerable.?

Publishing a book is a whole other level of exposure.?

Even smaller-scale book launches can be quite nerve-wracking.

Many people in publishing don’t want to talk about this because they don’t want to do anything to derail you from publishing?your?book. But I think we do a great disservice when we work in publishing and don’t set the expectations when launch day rolls around.

I’ve heard a few people mention the “arrival fallacy” after writing a book. Coined by psychologist Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, the arrival fallacy describes the sense of emptiness and disappointment we often feel after achieving a major life goal. It makes total sense why this would happen with a book launch. After all, our expectations are so high. We’ve put our heart and soul and significant amounts of time into crafting this opus to share with the world. We think publishing our book is going to change our lives, and often that doesn’t happen, at least not immediately and definitely not without significant marketing.?

I’ve spent the last year and a half handling the marketing and promotion for a hybrid book publisher who specializes in multi-author books, and one thing we talk about with authors is what to expect on launch day.?

Understandably, emotions are quite high. Truth be told, they might be high weeks?before?and even weeks?after?publishing your book. So many emotions come up when you really put yourself out there in a big way, and it doesn’t help when we don’t get the response we expect, especially from those closest to us.

And I speak from personal experience. A year ago, I?co-authored a book ?with a handful of other women and wrote a deeply vulnerable and personal chapter about the difficulties I faced in quitting a job I thought I was going to be fired from while one of my children was battling a life-threatening illness. I shared the ups and downs of that experience and the eventual transformation that came from it. (That transformation, by the way, was pretty amazing. I stopped dieting, stopped measuring my self-worth by my appearance and started my writing career in earnest.)

Family members bought the book on launch day and cheered me on. Complete strangers reached out to tell me about how they had gone through a similar experience. Former colleagues told me they shared my book in their Slack channels and had read it on their lunch break.?Some of my closest friends signed up to be part of my launch squad.?

But there were notable absences. A couple of my friends did not reach out. And these were supposedly some of my closest friends, people I had asked to be my early readers.?I know not everyone enjoys reading books, but after months of promoting the book on social media, I would have expected my closest friends to at least check in with me. It was disconcerting.

For weeks afterwards, I questioned whether it was the right decision to be that vulnerable. I woke every other day at 3 a.m. in a panic—why had I put myself out there??The reaction from my closest friends was a big reason.

I’ve since learned this is pretty common. Our biggest book champions often end up being complete strangers or people who aren’t close to us. Sometimes our closest supporters simply don’t acknowledge our big accomplishment. Often we never know why. But my guess is … it really has nothing to do with us. It feels like our launch should be the biggest thing in their lives too, but often that’s not the case.

Writing actively on LinkedIn and Substack since that book was published, I’ve seen it happen on smaller scales too. When I talk to authors as we prepare for release, the conversations are about setting realistic expectations. That includes book sales and publicity, reactions and milestones. It’s also about preparing them for the range of emotions they may feel around their book launch, because it’s often quite alienating if you don’t have a strong support group.?

Here Are Some Tips to Help You Emotionally Prepare for Your Book Launch

1. Set Realistic Expectations.

Understand that immediate success is rare. Your book launch probably won’t lead to instant fame or sales. Be prepared for gradual growth. A marketing plan is a must.

2. Develop a Support System.

Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, or fellow authors. Ask for support. Having people to share your journey with can make a huge difference.

3. Prepare for Mixed Reactions.

Not everyone will be supportive or enthusiastic. Be ready for some people to be indifferent or critical.

4. Practice Self-Care.

Launching a book is right up there with buying a house, getting married or having a baby in terms of stress. Make sure to take care of your physical and mental health through sleep, exercise, nutrition, and relaxation techniques.

5. Celebrate Small Wins.

Recognize and celebrate the small milestones along the way, like getting positive feedback, selling your first copies, or receiving media mentions. This can help avoid the dreaded arrival fallacy.

6. Stay Connected with Your Why.

Remember why you wrote the book in the first place. Write them down before launch and refer to them often. Keeping your original motivations and passions in mind can help you stay grounded.

7. Limit Comparisons.

While it’s almost impossible to avoid, do what you can to stay out of the comparison trap. Every author’s experience is different, and comparisons can lead to unnecessary stress.

8. Seek Help.

If the stress becomes overwhelming, consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate your emotions.

9. Build a Relationship with Readers.

Their positive feedback and encouragement can provide emotional support and motivation. Ideally, this is something you do pre-launch and has the added benefit of helping support the book launch.

10. Plan Post-Launch Activities.

Post-launch vacay, anyone? OK, maybe you shouldn’t go away right away since you’ve probably going to be doing post-launch promotion, but having activities planned can give you something to look forward to and help maintain momentum.

11. Reflect on Your Accomplishments.

Take time to reflect on how far you’ve come. Writing and publishing a book is a huge achievement!

Participating in a multi-author book was one of the best decisions I ever made because it gave me more confidence to put myself out there. It also meant I didn’t go through process of writing and publishing my book alone. To this day, my fellow co-authors are still some of my biggest champions, and vice versa, and these are women I didn’t know before this experience.

So for my fellow authors, as you prepare for your launch, make sure you set realistic expectations and surround yourself with supportive people. Putting yourself out there can be both exhilarating and isolating, but if you expect some unexpected reactions, you’ll be in a better position to celebrate this major milestone.?

Now it’s your turn. I’d love to hear your experience with putting yourself out there and your tips for managing expectations.