Emotional well-being

It was long thought that with the decline in physical abilities, older adults would also experience a decline in emotional well-being, happiness, and life satisfaction. To the surprise of many, researcher Dr. Laura Carstensen found the opposite. Older adults tend to be quite content. They experience fewer negative emotions and less emotional reactivity than do younger adults.

The sweet spot seems to be between age fifty-five and seventy. Those in Carstensen's study who were older than seventy-five started having more negative emotions, correlating in part with poor health or cognitive impairment. But even their bad days did not tend to go as low as those of younger adults. These tendencies have been confirmed across multiple studies and in multiple countries.

What is at the root of this emotional positivity?

• Consciously avoiding stressors. As our time becomes more our own (for example, retirement), we are able to avoid common stressors. In fact, we make a point of it. Don't drive during rush hour. Limit contact with disagreeable people. Establish routines that are predictable and don't create stress. Pursue pleasant leisure activities.
• A focus on what's important. With limited time on the planet, older adults tend to embody a "don't sweat the small stuff" ethic. Life is too short to get upset. Instead, focus on those things that bring joy and meaning. Often this means a smaller social circle, but one that is more closely knit.
• Contentment is a goal. When we are young, our emotional expectations are for more extreme stimulation. We want to feel very happy, very often. We seek highly activating emotions and excitement. With maturation, however, we tend to get more realistic about our expectations and are pleased with "happy enough." Interestingly, older adults may be happier overall because it's easier for them to reliably achieve their emotional goals of being happy enough.
• Being positive when they can be. Research finds that older adults tend to give others the benefit of the doubt more often than do younger adults. They might ascribe difficult behavior as someone having a bad day rather than a character flaw or unkind intentions. They tend to make interpretations that preserve peace between people rather than confrontation.

Of course, we've all met older adults who are grumpy and seem to prefer that state. This is more common in later old age when life stressors may emerge that are not avoidable. Isolation and feeling out of sync with the world seem to contribute. And certainly, if there is significant cognitive impairment (dementia), then emotional regulation diminishes.

Accessible anytime. The good news about emotional regulation is that you don't need to wait until you are fifty-five to benefit from these strategies. They may be easier to implement as we grow older, but they are available to all. It's primarily a shift in focus and priorities. Where you put your attention.

Curious about ways to enhance emotional well-being?

Contact the experts on aging:

Tewes CARES

(203) 826-9206