Emotional suffocation

First you need to acknowledge your feelings and realize that EVERYONE is struggling in their own way, with this journey. EVERYONE!

At first it can be very overwhelming and about a month it, reality kicks in and becomes more real and clear that this is now it, this is your new reality and one day, it all might feel just a bit too much. It can be a lot to deal with and everyone copes differently but for some people fall into depression. We are being looked at by some as “traitors” who left the country, the moment you admit that you are struggling, those back at home has something to say. Easy to say a lot but they would never take the risk themselves. It’s easy to chirp in from the side with “you thought the grass is greener on the other side” – it's a matter of opinion, mentality and where you water it. The struggles are not the same struggles as back home. In SA a big struggle is finances, here you can manage to do a lot more with your salary and it’s because the money has more value. The struggles are emotionally due to change and as adults we can struggle to adapt quickly. The emotionally struggles are not enough reason to stay if you made a move because of finance, better future for children or victim of crime in SA. So, many of those that immigrate becomes isolated. You feel that you can’t say anything because the judgement is harsh, and your BS meter doesn’t have the capacity to deal with that mentality. ?It's a SA thing, we are also raised not to complain to other people so bear with us and yourself, but you don't always have the carry the load yourself all alone. Especially men.

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Pointers or saving yourself from emotional suffocation

• CHOOSE your friends and you cut toxicity out of your life.
• You acknowledge your feelings and speak to your partner about that so that they also know how you feel; your head space affects the vibe at home.
• You find something that makes you happy, painting, writing, yoga, coffee at the beach, baking and PRAYERS, a lot of prayers (those who are religious).
• If you made a friend that you can confide in, take time to go for a coffee and if you haven’t made a friend, then do a video call with your friend back in SA. Remember that friend might be feeling the same way as you.

You are allowed to take a few days for yourself, to feel sad, bad, negative, emotional, rant and rave but it’s crucial to get yourself back out of the massive, big dark hole. It will suffocate you and then the entire journey becomes more difficult than what it should have or could have been.

So - breathe, acknowledge, identify something that makes you happy, get out of your head, get fresh air (seems quite safe to walk alone).

To me, I love to write, and English is my second language, so my grammar won’t always be correct and I'm no JK Rowling and that is also okay. I’ve managed to upskill myself in the kitchen and went from a master sandwich maker to a master stew chef! Great I feel like Gordon Ramsey in the making! I love creative journalling and I’m no Picasso but one day I will look back at my book of arts and will be proud of how much I grew and see the phases I went through. Lastly, a good spring clean of your house (even though it's clean) and maybe that is a woman thing, I don’t know but when my house is clean, no laundry, fresh bedding, then my mind feels clear, and I feel much better! You don't have to be excellent in something, you do it for yourself.

Be kind to yourself.

Be kind to your family.

Be kind to your mind.