Emotional Resilience in Leadership
Dexter Demoral
Learning & Quality Management Professional. Consultant. Entrepreneur. Creator. Maximizer.
This week, we're diving into the topic of Emotional Resilience in Leadership.
Let's face it, we've all been there - incredibly stressful moments at work. Workload, looming deadlines, work pressures, or conflicts, the stress can sometimes be super overwhelming. Not to mention our personal predicament which adds even more to our anxiety. Everyone experiences it; no one's immune to these stressors at work. Prolonged exposure to these stressors and, if left unmanaged, has an adverse impact on our emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.
What is Emotional Resiliency?
Emotionally resilient leaders have the ability to navigate through these difficult situations with a sense of calm, composure, focus, clarity, and optimism. They use these challenges as opportunities for growth. On the other hand, leaders who lack emotional resilience might find themselves caught in a vicious cycle of stress and reaction. This is why developing emotional resilience is important. Emotional resilience is not just about weathering the storm, it is about making yourself emotionally stronger with tangible plans and actions when faced with difficult scenarios.
A few years back, I was involved in a government consulting stint. I was part of the change management group and led the training and instructional design workstream. The project was supposed to be for a period of 3–4 months initially, but I was unable to finish it due to feeling overwhelmed and emotionally drained. The compensation was good, the work was manageable, and I loved the people I worked with. So, what went wrong? Beyond the physical stress of driving at least 4 hours to and from home (6 hours when the weather was bad), I hadn't anticipated the emotional impact of work events happening at that time—my entire team, including myself, was made redundant. The consulting project came just after the announcement of the organizational change. Imagine the conflicting emotions. I was happy with the consulting gig but was dejected about my team's situation. The emotional stress was initially masked by my elation at securing a consulting gig, which felt like both a blessing and some sort of divine intervention. However, since I hadn't had the chance to process the recent work events, it took a significant toll on my mental health. The feeling of inadequacy was lurking inside me and was slowly eating me up. This combination of emotional and physical stress led to depression. I abandoned my consulting work, my businesses (I had a bar and a consulting company), disconnected from my friends and colleagues, and just spent most of my time in bed feeling fatigued and tired, among other things. I was in flight mode.
I would not have recovered without the help of my former boss and friend, Murray Cowan. Without his persistence in contacting and trying to visit me, I might not have gotten out of that difficult situation. After two months, I decided to meet him upon his invitation. He made me realize that these things happen, they are normal, and it wasn't my fault. He shared stories of similar experiences as well. That was the moment when I began to process how I felt about my exit from the organization I had worked for. I started to reconnect with my friends and colleagues, gradually eased my way back into my businesses, and began to go out.
Was I emotionally resilient at that time? Of course not, but I have learned a lot from that situation, which has helped me build my mental and emotional fortitude to this day. Now, when faced with seemingly overwhelming challenges, I make sure to share my emotions and thoughts with someone, whether it be my partner, boss, trusted friend, or colleague. I also continuously equip myself with knowledge and skills to better understand myself, such as knowing my triggers and creating actions to manage the stress associated with them, becoming more emotionally aware, and practicing mindfulness. I also started to consult with a psychologist when I'm emotionally drained.
I hope that you'll find this article useful. I have shared some exercises and questions for reflection. If you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed right now, let me tell you that you have control over it, and I am optimistic that you will be able to power through.
Are you emotionally resilient? Try this test out: https://bit.ly/3IR9ZU8.
#emotionalresilience #emotionalresilienceinleadership #dexterslab
Learning & Quality Management Professional. Consultant. Entrepreneur. Creator. Maximizer.
11 个月Hi Jeri Mejia,I admire your openness in sharing your current situation. Without any specific details about the recent changes you've faced, I'll keep my response broad. I believe there isn't a universal yardstick to measure changes or one's capacity to tolerate them objectively. Only you can determine if these changes conflict with your personal values, the work you do, or your role's purpose, and whether they remain within your acceptable threshold.I'd recommend taking a moment to think about whether these changes are truly stressing you out. If they are, it's important to figure out if it's the kind of stress that's motivating (eustress) or the kind that wears you down (distress). I'll dive deeper into this in another article. Just keep in mind that sometimes, the things stressing us are only temporary and might not warrant a big reaction. However, if the stress is constant and starts affecting your health or behavior, it might be time to look at your options. Chatting with your boss or a colleague you trust can offer a new perspective. Appreciate you engaging :)
Experienced Account Manager and Customer Service Specialist
11 个月Got a question on this as I faced this recently. How do you "calculate" the changes you have to do within yourself to cope with the position you have? Is it just reliant on how much you "love" the position you're at? I've heard time and again of people who quit as theyt"do not want to lose themselves, their identity" with their position. How do you determine the middle ground?
Helping people upgrade their standard of living one job offer at a time.
12 个月Thanks for sharing this, Dexter. It sometimes gets tough on leaders to find that delicate balance between giving the business what it needs while making sure our team also gets the support they need to become successful. More often than not, it's the leaders that end up getting burned out - physically, mentally, emotionally. I can't emphasize enough how important it is to have support groups at and outside work and gaining access to tools that can help us deal with this. After all, leaders - just like everyone else in the organization - need to be supported and cared for, too.