Emotional Manipulators Exploit Emotions to Get What They Want, So Be Wary

In order to appreciate how grief can go awry and transition from a normal response to a disabling condition warranting medical attention, we must first know the characteristics of normal grief and how to differentiate normal grief from complicated grief and/or grief-related major depression.

Bereaved individuals with complicated grief find themselves in a repetitive loop of intense yearning and longing that becomes the major focus of their lives, albeit accompanied by inevitable sadness, frustration, and anxiety. Balance is key.?

Avoidance of extremities in either introvert or extrovert behavior is important for ultimate healing. Embracing vulnerability begins with reflection and acceptance of varied emotions we may experience.

Balance & Boundaries

Support Systems, Dealing with Friends and Family, Conflict and Disagreement

People who are maybe not so good for you in your grief or, oh say, life in general. ?These people come in all shapes and sizes, but mostly we'd like to concentrate on the emotionally manipulative kind because they are the most clever and sneaky.

This topic is?especially relevant to grief because.?

(1) people are vulnerable after they experience the death of someone they love and (2) research has shown that having a healthy support system has not only been linked with reduced rates of PTSD, but also may contribute to the likelihood a person will feel they've experienced posttraumatic growth as a result of their experiences.

Ideally weeding toxic people out of your support system would be easy, but?in reality, it?can be hard to objectively look at people you have ties with.?Even when something feels definitively off, it can be difficult to tell if the problem is with you or with them. They've been there for you (at times), they've done nice things for you in the past (you think), and they're your friend - aren't they? Sometimes the answer is "yes", sometimes the answer is "yes, but..." and sometimes the answer is "no!".

The same goes for your friends and in-laws. Just like you, they each have a unique?take on life, love etc.

These people come in all shapes and sizes, but mostly we'd like to concentrate on the emotionally manipulative kind because they are the most clever and sneaky.

Research has shown that having a healthy support system has not only been linked with reduced rates of PTSD, but also may contribute to the likelihood a person will feel they've experienced posttraumatic growth as a result of their experiences. Ideally weeding toxic people out of your support system would be easy, but?in reality, it?can be hard to objectively look at people you have ties with or in-laws etc.

Some of them might be?great?thinkers but horrible doers, others might be great advice givers but horrible listeners. Again, just like you, they each have a unique?take on life, love, children, family, work, problems, and relationships. They will even try to pick who you should be or have a relationship with if you let them. It is to keep you under their control. A relationship is not a consensus, no one belongs in the middle of one.

When to say..."I love you, but I can't be around you right now.

Sometimes you have to move forward from people who you love, care about, and value because being close to them hurts you or holds you back from moving forward or growing. ?Even though this person, to you, doesn't seem bad,?staying close to them threatens your well-being for whatever reason.?

Perhaps they were a part of a lifestyle you need to leave in the past; perhaps they tempt you into doing things that you want to stop doing. Perhaps they are inflicting their lifestyle on you making it so everything no matter what the topic is revolves around them and their lifestyle and choices.

Even your religious beliefs be it any faith or belief in God. They will have you disregarding the scriptures they muddle up things, with sneaky tactics such as political correctness. Or make it as if you don't go along, it's a violation of equal rights, or if you don't go along, you're not being loving or tolerant, or you don't love them, or the deceased, or you're not honoring them.

They do this to everyone, you, your spouse, your family, friends and in fact they had been doing it to the deceased throughout their lifetime as well. It's paid off for them, they have benefited in many ways and in most instances, attention, in finical support you end up paying for things or supporting their agendas. They will hijack your achievements and the deceased as well, for example your charity becomes under their control or puts them in the spotlight. The deceased accomplishments become theirs or what they are on becomes the deceased way of life, when in-fact the deceased did not live that lifestyle or was it yours with the deceased, you two never did those things, your marriage was not of such a thing.

Psychological manipulation can be defined as the exercise of undue influence through mental distortion and emotional exploitation, with the intention to seize power, control, benefits, and privileges at the victim’s expense.

First of all, I know some of you are saying "I wouldn't let anyone do that to me"?and I hope you are right. ?

But keep in mind, no one wants to be the victim of emotional manipulation. People who use emotional manipulation are often clever and charming. If they're really good, they make you feel as though you are important, loved, and needed by them and so, at times, it seems as though there's a payoff to pleasing them. ?

In the resulting dynamic, you either don't see it or understand because of your love and vulnerable during grieving. When you're being taken advantage of, or you actually feel as though you?want?to give up your time and energy to make the person happy.

As the label implies, emotional manipulators exploit emotion to get what they want, so be wary if you are currently feeling emotionally vulnerable (or?if you're just a generally caring person).?

Obviously, there is more to it, and I?recommend more than what is in this article,?if you want elaboration, but in a quick review here's what emotional manipulators do:

(1) They identify your weaknesses and use them against you to get what they want. ?Sadly, because they're exploiting?your?weaknesses,?you often end up blaming yourself or feeling inadequate for unhappiness and/or problems in the ties to them or the kinship.

(2) They make you feel as though they?desperately?need your time, attention, and energy because without it they will suffer some sort of emotional or physical harm, or your ties or kinship will suffer or there will be even broader implications.

Of course, you comply because...

? You're a good person

? You don't want to hurt them

? Their unhappiness means you've failed

? You want them to be pleased with you

(3) If you try and draw boundaries or say no to them, they make you feel guilty by shifting the focus away from the consequences you experience as a result of giving in and towards the ways that your resistance?hurts them.

(4) ?They convince you that their actions, which you feel in your gut are wrong or malicious, are actually good, helpful, or altruistic.

Add all this up - the guilt, blame, and distorting of reality - and it's easy to see how?a person might not see or know they are being taken advantage of. ?

It's often only after repeated manipulation that a person recognizes they are involved in a dynamic that?harms?them while serving another. Even in the light of day?it can be hard to put a stop to manipulation,?especially?if you are prone to feeling guilt and self-blame or if you worry you will be alone and isolated without the love of the toxic person.?

Or another instance with such people is Trauma?bonding.

Trauma?bonding refers to an intense emotional connection that creates an intense attachment in a ties, friendship, kinship and relationships. The term trauma bonded is sometimes used by people when they experience a traumatic event together – such as a couple in a relationship having a car accident or pregnancy loss or soldiers in combat.

For example, you as a solider in combat lost people or was exposed to a lot of trauma war crimes were occurring or violations of UCMJ the Hague. You defend their war crimes and ignore them or any religious beliefs. Your morals and standards are discarded because of Trauma?bonding, which is a very difficult thing to understand or know that you are doing. You know deep inside something is off, yet you defend them and allow yourself to be manipulated and subjected to harmful abuse as well as subjecting others to it or promoting it.

In addition to these signs, Stockholm syndrome is also common in these types of situations. The person who is being abused by the abuser will become accustomed to the abuse and will even defend their painful actions.