Emotional Intelligence: is it your IQ or your EQ that is required right now?

I recently ran a live webinar for Rob Forsyth and Gemma Butler who head up an awesome Marketing Career Agency at www.ninetythousandhours.co.uk.

The aim was to share my work with their network so that more people can grow in awareness about the difference EQ can make, specifically in the context of leadership and sales relationships. Rob has done an amazing job of summarising my work- here is his write up:

What is the difference between Emotional Intelligence and EQ?

• EQ - is the measure of Emotional Intelligence. Unlike IQ, it can be developed using tools and techniques.
• EQ is vitally important especially during the high-stress situation we now find ourselves in with COVID-19. This is because it helps us to control our behaviours and perform better in our roles as leaders and within teams.
• In 70% of the time, high performers in business have higher EQ scores than average performers.

Practising the WHY?

We often learn about EQ, but we miss the opportunity to learn how to apply it in a business sense. Often leaders with high IQ can find it difficult to gain trust from colleagues, especially if they have low particularly low EQ. However, we can train this. It is in our interest to train ourselves as; on average people with high EQ earn 30% more than those with lower EQ. Those with High EQ often outperform and become the best in their field

EQ is not just about self-awareness

It is ONLY one component. There is a bit missing - what else is involved?

• Core attitudes - these have been instilled in us since childhood and they can influence how we regard others.
• Feelings - How people behave and express themselves can make you feel a certain way - for example lower your self-esteem. Self-awareness is understanding why we feel a certain way in certain situation.
• Actions - this is about learning how to manage your own actions as well as empathise with others. The ability to recognise triggers in yourself and others and reacting in the right way to control our behaviour.

What are the building blocks of EQ?

How does having low EQ affect us?

• Having low EQ can mean we hold back our emotions for fear of seeming weak
• People can view us as being aggressive or volatile in certain situations
• It can lead to low personal power and trigger a fight or flight response

How can we gain control?

• We can focus on what we can control and not dwell on what we cannot control
• We can use positive self-talk to help us control our triggers and fight or flight response

Where your focus goes the energy flows

How can you help yourself and others during COVID-19 Right now we are all united by COVID-19, lockdown situation and a lack of control and security, possibly even fear.

• Focus on what we can control. We can’t change the impact the virus is having on our business, but we can control our response to it
• Do a Body scan if you start to notice triggers - do you feel hungry? Tired? Why am I feeling this way?
• Move away from instinct and into intuition by monitoring our ‘self-talk’ in a positive way
• Choose language that is appropriate in a business sense. Rather than say ‘that makes me upset’, say ‘I feel overwhelmed when x happens and I could do with a break’ separate it from emotions which may make others feel uncomfortable.

The neuroscience bit...

Sip those green cocktails - and generate calm hormones Oxytocin and Serotonin

Our brain operates in a different way when we are feeling under pressure - the primitive brain gets activated. Using the traffic light analogy - If someone is low in EQ they are easily ‘activated’ and they move into the brains ‘Amber’ Limbic system very quickly, often due to reminders of what has happened to them previously - from here they go into ‘Red’ protection mode or fight or flight.

We want to avoid being activated - get ourselves into the safer ‘green’ part of the brain, where we are in control. To help do this whilst in the Limbic 'amber' part of the brain we can ask ourselves questions such as - What else can I do? What choices do I have and what outcome do I want?

By using collaborative language we can also help others move out of their limbic system (amber) by asking questions such as, How can we help? - what can I do? What do you need? How can we make this happen? Using ‘we’ to collaborate -using language to build trust.

I continue to love sharing my work in all industries as it is relevant regardless of your role, level, title or how many co-workers you have. If you would like to find out more about how you, your team or your organisation can benefit from developing Emotional Intelligence, then get in touch.

https://www.besthopes.co.uk/book-a-virtual-coffee-slot.html

Did you like this content? Check out this Blog that summarises some of my tips for having more impactful conversations!! https://www.exducis.com/blog0520