Emotional Intelligence: Your EQ vs. IQ

“Wise people don’t suppress emotion. They find constructive ways to express it.”

- Adam Grant, Organizational psychologist at Wharton School of Business

I remember being told once that my IQ was 123. I do not know if that is true or not. I don’t know how to find out what my IQ score is… or was… or when I took the test... or even what the scale of me getting a 123 meant!? (I think 134 puts you in the Mensa category, but someone much smarter than me should confirm that.) If I am what someone told me I am, I don’t feel like a “123.” ?Why? Because I’ve always struggled in school and had a hard time reading and comprehending anything I had to read, along with anything else taught to me in a traditional academic setting, i.e., listen to long lectures, struggle through endless reading assignments, memorize everything, regurgitate everything for tests, promptly forget everything, receive failing grades on report card, hide report card from parents. By the time I got to college, I had come up with a pretty good philosophy: “Why study and flunk when I can NOT study and flunk.” It worked wonderfully! (NOTE: The author of this article in no way supports or subscribes to this methodology for himself or his students! This example is for literary purposes only! No students or readers were influenced or harmed by that terrible philosophical advice from 40 years ago!) ??

As I launched various media businesses and moved forward in life, I started hearing about this thing called EQ. Now, EQ to me as a person working in media usually meant equalization for audio and sound recordings achieved by adjusting the volume of different frequency bands on the audio spectrum. To the layperson, you might think of this as adjusting the bass or treble of your car music system. ???

But somewhere in the mid to late 1990’s, this new thing called EQ (Emotional Intelligence) started to take hold in the context of the business world and the workplace. Today you see it applied everywhere. It used to be that if you were a warm body and could accomplish the tasked needed to do a job, you would get hired.

The reason behind the shift and focus from IQ to EQ is that IQ solely focuses on cognitive abilities, such as logical reasoning and problem-solving skills. While these skills are undoubtedly valuable, they do not encompass the full range of qualities necessary for success in life. Managing your “emotional” state in the context of life, and work, is very important for not just surviving, but thriving in what you do, as I like to say in my sports analogies, “Both on and off the field.” ?

Today, there are a battery of personality and motivational tests that you will take to see what drives you, what you’re good at and what you “like” to do before you can even be considered for a job in your field. (Quick NOTE here: This is why Internships can be so advantageous. They get you in the door to prove yourself without all the rigmarole. And you get to try out what you think you want to do before you commit to it!) ?EQ is definitely a factor in the hiring process these days evaluating the success and outcomes for people working in their particular area of specialization and expertise, whether that be the “C-Suite” executive level or entry level. ?

Back in the 1920, psychologist Edward Thorndike described the concept of "social intelligence" as “the ability to understand and manage men and women, boys and girls, and to act wisely in human relations.” This was a time when American psychologists like Fred Moss and Thelma Hunt, both psychology professors at George Washington University, were proposing a wide range of tests for use by educators and employers to determine aptitude for various occupations. In the years to follow, others would also describe this as the following:

?“Social intelligence is reflected in the general ability to get along with people in general, social technique or ease in society, knowledge of social matters and susceptibility to stimuli from other members of a group, as well as insight into the temporary moods or underlying personality traits of strangers”. (https://www.socialigence.net/blog/social-intelligence-in-research/)

?My friend “Chatty” gave me these nuggets to share with you regarding this topic:

?Emotional intelligence (EQ) and intelligence quotient (IQ) are two different constructs that measure different aspects of human capabilities.

1. Intelligence Quotient (IQ):

?? - IQ refers to a numerical score derived from standardized tests designed to measure cognitive abilities, such as logical reasoning, problem-solving, verbal comprehension, and mathematical skills.

?? - IQ tests typically assess a person's ability to analyze information, solve problems, and learn new concepts quickly.

?? - IQ scores are often used to predict academic success, cognitive abilities, and potential for achievement in various fields.

?? - While IQ tests are valuable for measuring certain cognitive abilities, they may not capture other important aspects of human intelligence, such as emotional and social skills.

?2. Emotional Intelligence (EQ):

?? - EQ refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one's own emotions, as well as the ability to recognize, understand, and influence the emotions of others.

?? - EQ involves a set of skills related to self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, and relationship management.

?? - EQ is important for navigating social interactions, building and maintaining relationships, and effectively managing stress and challenges.

?? - Unlike IQ, which is primarily focused on cognitive abilities, EQ encompasses aspects of social and emotional functioning that are essential for success in both personal and professional life.

?? - EQ can be developed and improved over time through self-reflection, practice, and learning strategies for managing emotions and interpersonal relationships.

?While IQ measures cognitive abilities and intellectual potential, EQ measures emotional and social intelligence. Both IQ and EQ are important for success in life, and individuals with a balance of cognitive and emotional skills are often better equipped to navigate the complexities of the world around them.

?Emotional intelligence (EQ or EI) refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one's own emotions, as well as the ability to recognize, understand, and influence the emotions of others. It involves a set of skills that enable individuals to navigate social interactions, build and maintain relationships, and effectively manage stress and challenges.

?There are several components of emotional intelligence, including:

?1. Self-awareness: The ability to recognize and understand one's own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, values, and goals.

?2. Self-regulation: The ability to control and manage one's emotions, impulses, and reactions in various situations. This involves staying calm under pressure, managing stress, and adapting to changing circumstances.

?3. Social awareness: The ability to recognize and understand the emotions and perspectives of others. This involves empathy, active listening, and sensitivity to social cues and dynamics.

?4. Relationship management: The ability to build and maintain healthy relationships with others. This involves effective communication, conflict resolution, collaboration, and leadership skills.

?In the workplace, emotional intelligence is highly valued and can have a significant impact on individual and organizational success. Here's how it applies:

?1. Leadership: Effective leaders demonstrate high levels of emotional intelligence, as they are able to understand and respond to the emotions of their team members, inspire and motivate others, and foster a positive and inclusive work environment.

?2. Teamwork and Collaboration: Employees with high emotional intelligence are better able to work collaboratively with others, communicate effectively, resolve conflicts constructively, and build strong relationships with colleagues.

3. Decision Making: Emotional intelligence plays a crucial role in decision-making processes, as individuals who are emotionally intelligent are better able to weigh different perspectives, manage ambiguity and uncertainty, and make sound decisions that take into account the emotions and needs of others.

?4. Customer Service: Employees with high emotional intelligence are better equipped to provide excellent customer service, as they are able to empathize with customers, understand their needs and concerns, and respond appropriately to address their issues.

?5. Stress Management: In today's fast-paced and demanding work environments, emotional intelligence is essential for effectively managing stress and preventing burnout. Employees who are emotionally intelligent are better able to cope with pressure, stay resilient in the face of challenges, and maintain a healthy work-life balance.

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Overall, emotional intelligence is a critical skill set that contributes to individual and organizational success by fostering positive relationships, enhancing communication and collaboration, and promoting overall well-being in the workplace.

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So, what does this all mean for you in this day and age? For the good for your own mental health, you can improve your EQ skills with some thoughtfulness and practice:

• SLOW DOWN! Sometimes your emotions come crashing in on you. Slow down your reactions. Practice calming techniques so you’re not “reacting” to situations as they occur. ?The next time you feel angry, count to ten, take a big step back and let it simmer before just irrationally lashing out. Why are you angry? Why are you upset? Did someone do something to you? What are the emotions underneath your reactions and behavior??
• THINK about who you are and what you do well. What are your strengths and weaknesses? No one is good at everything, and guess what - that’s okay! Know yourself and what triggers you. And don’t be afraid to ask for - or offer – help in these tough situations.?
• SEE the situation for what it is. WATCH others for non-verbal clues. Are you reacting to words without recognizing your own demeanor? Take the time to figure out the ground rules or parameters when you’re working together with peers and co-workers on a project. Everyone reacts differently.
• LISTEN. Then TALK IT OUT! Communication is important! ?Listen to the other person's perspective, giving full attention. Make clear points when you talk. Discuss effectively and openly. Agree on how to proceed together.

More info for self care and EQ can be found at the Mental Health of America website: https://mhanational.org/what-emotional-intelligence-and-how-does-it-apply-workplace

Jess Stainbrook is an 8x Emmy Award winning producer/director who is passionate about raising up the next generation of creative professionals and visual storytellers. A simple google search will give you more info about the variety of things he is doing in and out of the world of media.

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