The Emotional Intelligence Superpower – The Leadership Skill That Transforms Everything

I used to think I was in control.

But looking back, I was completely reactive, pleasure-seeking, and out of balance. My emotions dictated my decisions. I was driven by short-term gratification rather than long-term purpose. I lacked meaning, motivation, and the ability to regulate myself when things got tough. In short? I was rudderless.

And the worst part? I didn’t even realise it.

This is the reality for so many people who struggle with low emotional intelligence (EI)—but here’s the wonderful thing: EI isn’t fixed. It can be developed, refined, and strengthened.?

Research shows that unlike IQ, which remains stable throughout life, emotional intelligence can be greatly enhanced through targeted interventions (Goleman, Emotional Intelligence).

Our CLEVEREST leadership and mental fitness blueprint highlights Emotional Intelligence as a fundamental pillar for both high performance and wellbeing. Whether you’re leading a team, building relationships, or striving for personal growth, mastering EI is one of the most valuable investments you can make.

But what exactly does emotional intelligence involve? And how can we strengthen it?

The Five Components of Emotional Intelligence (and How to Improve Them)

1. Self-Awareness – The Foundation of Growth

This is the foundation of EI. Self-awareness is the ability to recognise your emotions, triggers, and patterns. Research shows that people with high self-awareness make better decisions, experience less stress, and have stronger leadership capabilities (Eurich, Insight).

? How to Improve Self-Awareness:

One of the most powerful ways to build self-awareness is through reflection and journaling. A study from Harvard Business School found that employees who spent 15 minutes at the end of the day reflecting on their experiences improved their performance by 23% compared to those who didn’t.?

Take time each day to ask:

• What emotions did I feel today, and why?
• How did those emotions influence my actions?
• What did I do well and what could I have done differently?

2. Self-Regulation – Mastering Your Reactions

Early in my journey, I lacked self-regulation. I sought pleasure in partying. If something frustrated me, I reacted. If I wanted something, I sought it immediately. Now, I can’t recognise the person I was. The ability to pause, reflect, and choose your response is one of the biggest differentiators between average and exceptional leaders.

? How to Improve Self-Regulation:

A scientifically backed way to strengthen self-regulation is mindfulness meditation. Research from Harvard Medical School shows that mindfulness reduces emotional reactivity by reducing the size of the amygdala, the brain’s fear and impulse centre. Practicing just 10 minutes of mindfulness daily can significantly improve your ability to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.

3. Motivation – Finding Your Drive

Motivation isn’t just about external rewards—it’s about having a deep, intrinsic reason for what you do. High-EI individuals don’t rely on fleeting motivation; they cultivate purpose-driven motivation that keeps them going even when things are tough.

? How to Improve Motivation:

A powerful intervention is goal setting with personal meaning. Research from the Dominican University of California found that people who write down their goals and share them with a friend are 42% more likely to achieve them. To stay motivated, ask yourself:

• What is the deeper purpose behind my work?
• How does it align with my values?
• Who benefits from what I do?

4. Empathy – The Key to Strong Relationships

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Leaders with high empathy create psychological safety, stronger collaboration, and higher employee engagement. Research from DDI found that leaders with strong empathy are 40% more effective in coaching, engaging teams, and driving performance (DDI, Global Leadership Forecast).

? How to Improve Empathy:

One proven technique is active listening—fully focusing on the speaker without thinking about your response. Neuroscience research shows that mirroring someone’s emotions through active listening increases oxytocin, the brain’s trust hormone, strengthening relationships and connection.

How to Practice Active Listening:

• Give full attention – Put away distractions and maintain eye contact.
• Reflect and clarify – Summarise what the speaker said to confirm understanding.
• Ask thoughtful questions – Encourage deeper discussion with open-ended questions.
• Pause before responding – Resist the urge to interrupt or formulate a reply too quickly.
• Listen beyond the words – What’s the meaning behind their energy and body language

5. Social Skills – The Art of Influence and Connection

Success isn’t just about what you know; it’s about how well you connect with others. People with high emotional intelligence excel in communication, conflict resolution, and collaboration—making them highly valued in leadership and team environments.

? How to Improve Social Skills:

One of the best ways to develop stronger social skills is through deliberate networking and feedback-seeking. A study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that leaders who actively seek feedback improve their communication effectiveness by 20% over time. Ask for feedback regularly and practice adjusting your approach based on what you learn. I often say, when you ask, be prepared to listen. It may be uncomfortable but over time, it will be worth it.

The Emotional Intelligence Advantage

Developing emotional intelligence isn’t just about feeling good—it directly impacts performance, wellbeing, leadership, and relationships.

• Leaders with high EI drive 20% higher team performance (TalentSmart).
• Employees with strong EI report lower stress and burnout rates (APA).
• High-EI individuals experience better career progression and job satisfaction (Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence).

If you could strengthen just one of these areas, which would it be? Let me know in the comments.

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If you would like training or coaching on emotional intelligence at your organisation, book a chat via the link on my profile.