Emotional Intelligence – Practical Definition - I

So then who is an emotionally intelligent person?

Life by design will always be a roller coaster and there will always be pleasant and unpleasant events in one’s life. Being happy all the time, especially during prolonged unpleasant times is cruel to expect from a common man on the street. The great philosophy of psychology, the Bhagwad Gita mentions the word sthitpragya as the emotionally intelligent person. Sthitpragya is a person who is balanced as happy and unhappy emotions pass through the mind. It should be noted that even the happy emotions are to be managed well as an expression in the emotionally intelligent individual. Uncontrolled happy emotions can also lead to wrong expression or decisions which can lead to problems later on. Sthitpragya is a person who is balanced in success and failure both because such a person operating from the vantage point of abundance knows how to deal with both.

Never has a criteria been accorded that an emotionally intelligent person must not feel sad or happy. Rather, to control and inhibit an expression to occur is a very dangerous practice. It can lead to pent up emotions erupting in a highly intense moment and lead to disaster. An emotionally intelligent person is a person who is aware of everything in the scope of emotions oozing out and is just a bystander to the emotional state of cognitive existence.

When one reaches this stage of seeing and doesn’t engage, there is a clear detachment from the expressed emotion. The breeding of new emotions and actions leading out of the previous ones stop, the chain is broken and one can rest easy without a residual guilt of an inappropriate action and or emotional reaction or outburst.

Having said that, even this is difficult to achieve just as the previously discussed goal of being happy all the time. To be detached from emotional expression, one needs to be detached from the event horizon itself which is a herculean task and that is where emotional intelligence starts looking as a myth to the common man and the whole purpose of academics related to emotional intelligence seems to have been defeated.

So how do we bring an applicable methodology to inculcate emotional intelligence?

Practicing emotional intelligence

So how does one remain detached to all the emotions that rise in the mind and take the position of being a neutral observer? It looks impossible like it is to be dry while being immersed in the sea. The mind always wants control and would always aim for being on the positive emotions side of the emotional table because it helps the individual create a good image in the society. But the same mind, as the unconscious mind, is operating from scarcity and low self-esteem dominated with negative emotions....contd. in Part II