Emotional Intelligence for Leaders

Many, many years ago I was gifted a book that covered numerous aspects of emotional intelligence and human behaviour.

Emotional intelligence is something that, over recent years, has started to regain popularity in businesses as a desirable skill, especially when it comes to those who are in positions where they manage others.

That doesn’t mean that emotional intelligence is not desired in employees further down the ranks. Instead, recent insights by company leaders and research from psychological studies have shown the importance of emotional intelligence to increase as an individual moves up through a company.

I am delighted to see the increased focus and awareness of the role of EQ from recruitment through to effective teams and personal relationships. Today’s young adults entering the workforce have so much to benefit from this awareness on their path to becoming better team members and leaders.

What is Emotional Intelligence

As one of the first to promote the importance of emotional intelligence with his 1995 book ‘Emotional Intelligence’, Daniel Goleman  is a leading contemporary source on this subject.

“Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive emotions, to access and generate emotions so as to assist thought, to understand emotions and emotional knowledge, and to reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth."

This is quite a mouthful but in essence, it all boils down to a set of emotional components that create the overarching concept of emotional intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence vs. Cognitive Intelligence

Emotional intelligence can also be described as EQ, a simple abbreviation that helps to link it to its better-known cousin IQ. For many years it was assumed that if you had a higher IQ you were destined for a better job than those with a lower IQ. While this could be true is some fields, such as academia it is far from the truth when it comes to the world of business and even life for that matter.

For example, a study conducted by Professor Bernard J. Crespi of Simon Fraser University showed that “autism is positively genetically correlated with high intelligence”. But when these figures are compared to a 2008 study that showed “75-85% of adults with Asperger Syndrome do not hold a full-time job”, it’s clear to see that there is more to procuring gainful employment than just your IQ.

This is where EQ comes into play. If you want to thrive in your job and get promoted (where you will become a leader if you aren’t already) then EQ is an essential skill to cultivate, and here is how you can do just that. 

Self-Awareness

“What you do has far greater impact than what you say.” This quote from Stephen Covey, author of the monumentally successful “The 7 habits of highly effective people”, is an excellent place to start when developing your EQ (in fact, I suggest you read his book if you’re serious about it).

Taking the time to assess your performance, as a leader, is crucial for developing self-awareness. Great leaders get the best out of those they manage and, rather than blaming others for poor results, focus on what role they may have played in those results.

Looking in the mirror (metaphorically) will immediately make you a better leader and I feel honoured to be working with our leadership team to expand our emotional quotient in our workplace. 

Two Ears, One Mouth

“Impactful Communication is a two way street – leaders must listen more than they speak. Great leaders have impact and gravitas.”

This quote from Jon Michail shows how important it is to be a skilful listener. When you’re a leader, you may think you are in a superior position and therefore that you are the shot-caller and you need to have all the answers.

In reality, taking the time to listen and understand the point of view of other employees gives you a new perspective on tasks that you may not have thought of on your own. Everyone is unique, and this uniqueness can bring creative solutions to problems, but employees won’t feel comfortable sharing these insights if the dynamic of a relationship is ‘top down’.

Synergy

An added bonus that comes from listening is the idea of synergy. Another concept put forward by Stephen Covey, synergy is the idea that 1 + 1 = 3 or more when people work together to create solutions. Taking the time to listen to all ideas, and not just pushing your own, can lead to much more effective solutions (and also a more energized office culture!). Some of the most successful work outcomes that I have had the privilege to be part of over my career resulted from teams working with strong synergy where 1 + 1 almost became 5.

Balancing Your EQ Skills

Before going further, it’s important to note that your EQ is made up of a set of different skills that interrelate and you must maintain a balance between them in order to be an effective leader.

If you focus too much on looking at yourself in the mirror, people may perceive you as self-obsessed. Conversely, if you over-emphasise listening and pleasing others you’ll be seen as a pushover. Neither of these are traits of a respected and effective leader.

Trust the Process

Just as cultivating self-awareness takes time, learning how to apply new found EQ skills to your role as a leader will also be a long process. Finding balance takes a while and the constant adjustments necessary to improve your interpersonal skills can feel like growing pains.

Keeping the end goal in sight is important motivation. As Dottie Herman, CEO of Douglas Elliman Real Estate in New York has learned: “It’s about finding that balance between managing and letting go. You have to allow people to make mistakes, as we learn from mistakes. If you don’t, people will never make a move.”

Investing in your employee’s performance is advised, but past a point this turns into micromanagement, and that will do more to hinder their performance. The key here is, again, self-awareness.

Conclusion

Improving your EQ skills is essential for becoming the best leader you can be, not just because it makes you more effective as an individual, but because it also improves your interpersonal skills.

A quote from Dale Carnegie reminds us that “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.” Following on from my opening statement, my mother shared her copy of Dale Carnegie’s book with me when I was in high school. She obtained the book after my father passed two weeks before I was born to help move forward with her life. This book revolutionised my whole outlook on life to this day. 

To come full circle in explaining why EQ is so important, we will complete as we started, with a quote from Daniel Goleman:

“As much as 80% of adult “success” comes from EQ.”

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Daniel Goleman is an internationally known psychologist. As a science journalist Goleman reported on the brain and behavioural sciences for The New York Times for many years.

Jon Michail is the author of Life Branding, CEO of Image Group International and a pioneer in the personal branding world. Based in Australia, he coaches and positions senior executives, entrepreneurs and changemakers on how to elevate their gravitas… online and offline.

Dottie Herman is the CEO of Douglas Elliman, one of America’s oldest and largest real estate brokerage firms with approximately $27.4 billion in annual sales volume and 7,000 real estate agents.

Dale Carnegie was the author of 'How to Win Friends and Influence People,' one of the best-selling self-help books of all time.