Emotional Intelligence for the Holidays

The two things that stress me out the most are airports and the holidays. I don’t really care for airports, but I love the holidays. They just stress me out. Something happens to everyone and they either get really sweet or really awful. It is these awful people that make it hard. Driving in traffic in December just seems more frustrating. Family visiting at Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hannukah and any of the other over 30 holidays in November and December might be stressful for some. There is also the pain of loss for people we have lost in our lives through death, loss of friendship, abandonment, or many other kinds of loss.

One of the most important things we can do during these times is to elevate our own emotional intelligence to keep ourselves balanced as well as helping to be a place of calm for others. Emotional Intelligence is a set of emotional and social skills that influence the way we perceive and express ourselves, develop and maintain social relationships, cope with challenges, and use emotional information in an effective and meaningful way.

It all begins with self-awareness. During this time of year, it is especially important to pay attention to our own emotions. We can ask ourselves, “How am I feeling? Why am I feeling this way?” By doing this regularly, we stay in tune to our own emotions which will increase our ability to act appropriately on them rather than reacting without thinking.

This leads to self-management. By knowing how we are feeling and why, we can ask ourselves the question, “What am I going to do about it?” There are many ways to regulate ourselves. Meditation, rest, eating healthy, exercise, socializing with the right people, talking about our feelings with a professional, and many more. It doesn’t do much good to be aware of our emotions if we don’t regulate them once we know how we are feeling.

The next component is social awareness. This means not just paying attention to our own emotions but to the emotions of others as well. In the same way we get stressed out about certain things, other people do too. We are better when we pay attention to the needs of those around us and give them some grace.

Naturally following that is relationship management. Once we notice how others are feeling and acting, we can act as needed. This is the importance of responding versus reacting. When we automatically react, we are not being mindful. But when we pause, assess and respond, we always bring about a more intentional result.

During the season of peace on Earth and goodwill towards all, the more of us who are dialed in emotionally, the better. Bring a sense of calm and peace to those around you. It will make a better holiday season for all.

David B. McLaughlin is the founder of Pendulum Coaching, LLC and host of the podcast, The Mindful Leader.?David is a popular speaker and coach on mindfulness and emotional intelligence. You can learn more at pendulumcoaching.com and sign up for his weekly email newsletter. But wait, there’s more! He just released his second blues album, The Stranger, available on all streaming platforms!?Find out more at thatsfantasticentertainment.com.