Emotional Intelligence: The heart of leadership in a divided world

In today’s world of geopolitical upheaval and rapid technological transformation, it is tempting to seek solutions that are purely rational or strategic. Leaders around the globe face challenges that demand intellect, technical expertise, and swift decision-making. But are these enough? Daniel Goleman’s seminal work on emotional intelligence (EI) reminds us that leadership is not solely about strategy or intellect. It’s about people, relationships, and emotions—elements that are often overlooked in high-stakes environments but are pivotal in shaping outcomes, whether on a global stage or in the intimate confines of a coaching conversation.

When we look at global conflicts—from the Middle East to Ukraine—and consider the strained relationships between nations like the United States, China, Russia, and the European Union, the underlying tensions are not just about policies or resources. They are deeply emotional. These conflicts stem from histories of mistrust, perceived slights, and fears of vulnerability. Leaders may speak the language of power and pragmatism, but their decisions are often shaped by what they feel: anger, pride, frustration, or hope.

As a business psychologist and coach, I witness this emotional complexity firsthand in my work. My days often span multiple continents, starting with conversations in Singapore, moving through Saudi Arabia or Dubai, and finishing with leaders on the east or west coast of the United States. Across these diverse contexts, one thing remains constant: the emotional ties we establish in our coaching relationships are critical to creating meaningful change.

Coaching is not just about frameworks or goals; it’s about connecting with another person on a human level. The emotions that arise in these conversations—moments of vulnerability, frustration, joy, or clarity—are not incidental. They are the substance of the work. Leaders often come to me grappling with high-stakes challenges, but behind the professional fa?ade, they are also navigating personal struggles: strained family relationships, questions of identity, or the weight of expectation. The space we create in coaching is one where these emotions can surface, be understood, and ultimately guide actions that feel both authentic and impactful.

This emotional foundation is no different on the global stage. Nations, like individuals, are driven not only by rational calculations but by the emotions that permeate their histories and interactions. The prisoner’s dilemma—a game theory concept that captures the tension between self-interest and collective good—is a striking example of how emotions complicate cooperation. Even when mutual collaboration offers the best outcome, the fear of betrayal often leads to conflict.

Take the strained relationship between the United States and China. Beneath the surface of trade disputes and technological competition lies a deep-seated mistrust. Both nations fear vulnerability: the United States fears losing its global dominance, while China fears being constrained by Western systems. These fears, though rarely articulated, shape policies and actions that perpetuate the cycle of mistrust.

Similarly, the ongoing conflict in Ukraine is not just a territorial dispute; it is a clash of identities, histories, and emotions. For Russia, the conflict is tied to a sense of lost grandeur and perceived encirclement. For Ukraine, it is about survival, independence, and dignity. Without acknowledging these emotional drivers, diplomatic efforts risk becoming hollow exercises in rhetoric.

What ties these geopolitical challenges to the intimate coaching relationships I see every day is the undeniable role of emotions. Whether between nations or individuals, meaningful progress depends on understanding, managing, and leveraging these emotions. Self-awareness helps leaders—whether heads of state or CEOs—recognize how their emotions shape their decisions. Empathy allows them to understand the perspectives of others, even adversaries. Self-regulation tempers impulsive actions, creating space for measured responses.

But emotional intelligence is not a panacea. It is challenging work, made harder by the prisoner’s dilemma dynamic that pervades human relationships. Cooperation requires trust, and trust requires a leap of faith—one that feels almost impossible when the stakes are high, and the cost of betrayal looms large.

The Danish philosopher K.E. L?gstrup wrote that “we hold some portion of another’s life in our hands.” In leadership, this truth carries profound implications. Whether guiding a global organization or steering a nation through crisis, leaders must recognize that their choices ripple outward, shaping the lives of countless others. Emotional intelligence is not just a tool for leadership; it is a responsibility, a reminder of the humanity that connects us all, even in a fragmented world.

The challenges we face—geopolitical, organizational, or personal—may be daunting, but they are also opportunities. Opportunities to bridge divides, to understand one another, and to lead with a depth and authenticity that no algorithm or strategy can replicate. Emotional intelligence, in its timeless wisdom, just might be the key to unlocking these possibilities.

Link to Daniel Goleman's original article from 2004: What Makes a Leader?