Emotional Intelligence & Fitness.

I am reposting this article that I wrote over a year ago to lay the a basis for the next article about Adversity and Duality.

How Mentally and Physically Fit are You?

Physical fitness and wellness have been a lifelong passion for me as well as an ever-evolving journey to expand the boundaries of my mental and physical limits. They directly contribute to improve and impact my personal well-being and happiness. Extreme fitness pursuits are my stress management tool of choice and help feed my soul. Fitness not only supports me in having a healthy of body, but also feeds positivity into my emotional and mental wellness. I am a firm believer that mental health, contentment, and exercise are important contributors to overall well-being.

To view it from a granular perspective and to make a more direct connection, let me break it down into the five specific components that I choose to focus on, though there are several other to choose from: (Self-Confidence, Optimism, Interpersonal Relationships, Self-Awareness and Self-Actualization).

Self-Confidence is one of the important facets of Emotional Intelligence. It is almost always present in people we admire and respect who “have their act together.” We admire individuals who display a positive attitude toward themselves without being arrogant.

Self-confidence is a positive and balanced attitude that influences the five dimensions of wellness (physical, emotional, social, spiritual, and intellectual), and impacts our personal health. It consists of a basic belief that we can do what is needed, to produce the desired outcome. When obstacles occur, a person with a confident attitude continues to work to overcome the barriers, whereas someone lacking in self-confidence is not likely to persevere and might not even begin something. When I was in the military, I attended many extremely difficult and highly demanding special skill courses, and most were both physically and mentally challenging. I respected the difficulty of each but never feared I would not graduate as I was extremely confident in my mental and physical preparation and never doubted my desire to successfully complete each course. Later in life as I started racing Ironman Triathlons, I embraced the motto of Ironman founder, Navy Commander John Collins- “You can quit and no one else cares but you will always know”. My level of physical fitness has always played huge role in my overall self-confidence level and thus promoted my mental well-being.

Overcoming barriers and giving ourselves credit for what we have achieved—no matter how insignificant to others—are important ways to build self-confidence. Experiencing small successes allows us to build larger ones.

Optimism is an ever-evolving journey with trials and tribulations. As a naturally optimistic but realistic person, I find it easy to stay positive in the face of setbacks, because I expect and embrace them as an opportunity to learn and grow. Furthermore, attention to physical fitness is a great contributor to boost and balance my optimism. I have a passion for exercise, pushing boundaries and being outdoors. I truly enjoy the “process” of fitness as it is much more about the training than any single event that might mark a milestone.

I remember my second Ironman Triathlon in Panama City, Florida. I had a great swim, smoking bike ride and strong first 8 miles of the run and then the “wheels started to fall off”. My stomach started bloating and I started throwing up and then the other end decided to join the party. I literally ran, walked, stumbled and staggered the next 18 miles from port-a-pot to port-o-pot hiding from race officials so they wouldn’t pull me off the course. When I deliriously but also euphorically crossed the finish line I told the volunteer who place the finisher’s medal around my neck to take me to the medical tent. This was 2004 and they weighed you before the race and afterwards if you went the medical tent. So, I get to the medical check-in and I’m smiling, and I tell the women, I need an IV, I’m in trouble. She says, looking me over “get on the scale” I jump on the scale and say “I’ve had diarrhea and been throwing up for the last 5 hours, I’m in distress and need two IVs”, she looks at the scale and says “ that can’t be right, you lost 22 lbs, get back on the scale” I smile at her and say “look, if you don’t get me into the med tent, I’m going to throw up on you and probably leave a puddle from my backside on the ground too!” So, for the next two hours, with two IV’s in my arms, I’m shuffling between a cot and a port-o-pot, with a blanket over my shoulders while drinking chicken broth but I’m smiling the entire time and people keep asking me why I’m smiling. I’m smiling because I never quit, never even thought about it. I knew I would finish, it would be tough, but Ironman is tough and things go wrong all the time. What matters is how you handle things when they go wrong and that you remain positive. As a side note, I had somehow picked up a parasite, probably a day or two before the race during a practice swim and ended up losing 35lbs over the next few weeks. I still look at that picture of me crossing the finish line; over 3 hours slower than I had planned, beat up and depleted but not defeated. 

I view Ironman racing from the perspective of: “Life will throw you a curve; no matter how much and how hard you train and prepared you are, you will be challenged with circumstances you could not have foreseen. You will then rise to the occasion and persevere or cower and succumb to failure.”

Interpersonal Relationships are as the saying goes, “birds of a feather stick together”. Fitness is the glue or at least the foundational spark of many of my relationships! My close friends and I have shared life, laughter and sometimes, blood, sweat and tears as we trained and fought in the military and conquered new personal best and fitness achievements in the gym or as we covered miles together swimming, biking and running. 

Quality time is very important to nurture relationships and like anything, physical fitness requires some committed time every day. The people I train with have become the people I want to spend time with not just being fit, but in sharing meals, vacations, business ventures and other life experiences. 

I am filled with admiration of those I choose to spend my time with; they support me to complete my fitness goals, they challenge me and provide advice, encouragement, constructive criticism and a listening ear when I need it. I have formed lifelong friendships through fitness.

Self-Awareness allows a strong individual to be acutely aware of their own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. They must be able to accurately identify and understand their strengths and weaknesses and have a value system that they are unwilling to compromise. This ties directly to physical fitness goals.

I remember racing in my first Xterra World Championship in Maui, Hawaii. It was brutally hot at the race start so I knew by the time we hit the mountain bike and trail run portions of the race the heat would be downright oppressive. Also, the currents and rip tides on the practice swim were especially rough and the conditions were the same on race day, so I knew the swim would take some extra energy. I had to plan my race accordingly and know when to hold back and when to drop the hammer and just race my race and not be influenced by the competitors around me. The swim was brutal, the riptide pulled us out but didn’t want to let us back in and the current pushed us down and away from the swim finish marker so staying on course, sighting and exiting the swim finish was tough and exhausting. The mountain bike was mentally and physically draining; mostly climbing the first half and then very technical, then climbing again, then screaming down the mountain at breakneck speeds. I saw more than one crash due to a lapse of concentration or underestimation of the course. It ended with a lung busting and leg crushing run up the mountain then back down while jumping over logs and boulders and balancing on narrow goat paths, then finishing with a 300 meter beach run before climbing one final hill to the finish. My plan of staying within myself and knowing my strengths and weaknesses paid off. I finished 2nd in my age group; completely spent but happy that I ran my race.

Self-Actualization is an area in which I am very comfortable with setting aggressive goals and a having a willingness to learn and evolve. I tend to be motivated towards big goals in many areas of my life and fitness is no exception. From military special operations training to Ironman to Xterra to Tough Mudders, I am motivated to challenge and push myself to expand my limits. I am energized by the feelings of challenge and learning, especially if it is physically, mentally, and emotionally demanding. The process of setting a tough, stretch goal, in alignment with my personal values is energizing. If anything, I could likely benefit from backing off and lean towards decreasing my proficiency in this area and look to create more space for recovery and rest but then I wouldn’t be me. I find it easier to “go hard and suffer”; the challenges and rewards are much more gratifying. 

Fitness has contributed greatly to my sense of health and wellness. As viewed through the optics of Emotional Intelligence, and assessing my overall wellness, I am able to see where I can grow and what supports that growth. By maintaining my commitment to optimal physical health and wellness I can continue to purse my balance of a healthy personal and professional lifestyle.

Lead With Action!

Joe