Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Getting Comfy with Emotions in the Workplace

Have you ever heard the comment, “leave your personal problems at the door” from a boss? If you haven’t, lucky you. I remember I had a boss that told me to get a dog if I wanted a friend - translation, don’t expect any friends here at work!

Workplaces are often seen as environments where professionalism trumps emotional vulnerability. This perceived expectation can hamper our ability to foster genuine, supportive relationships with colleagues and superiors. Yet, as the landscape of the modern workplace evolves, let’s not overlook the benefits of developing emotional intelligence, which enables us to be comfortable with sharing our emotions and being on the receiving end of others'.

Emotions may be seen as an obstacle in professional settings, but if we approach them with emotional intelligence, they can act as a catalyst for better communication, collaboration, and understanding. Here, we'll explore the importance of normalizing emotions in the workplace and the steps employees and leaders can take to do so.

Why should we care about EQ in the workplace?

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our emotions and the emotions of others. It involves being able to empathize with others, maintain positive relationships, and use emotional information to guide thinking and decision-making.

By developing our emotional intelligence, we open the doors to improved:

1. Communication: Understanding our own emotions helps us express ourselves clearly, while understanding others' emotions helps us interpret their messages more accurately.

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1. Collaboration: When we know how to work with others' emotions, we can better?

collaborate and support our teammates. We also are more efficient because we can express our emotions and cut right to some of the interpersonal issues we experience in the workplace.?

1. Resilience: Having a deeper understanding of our emotions enables us to manage stress and recover from setbacks more effectively.?

1. Productivity: By paying attention to our emotional needs, we're more likely to avoid burnout and maintain productivity throughout the day.?

Normalizing Emotional Wellbeing

Encouraging better emotional wellbeing in the workplace is the foundation for a healthy work culture. Here are some steps towards emotional normalization:

Psychological Safety - Foster a Mentally Safe Environment

Managers and leaders play a vital role in creating a safe a mentally safe environment where people can share their emotions without the fear of judgment or repercussions of any kind. Encourage open dialogue and let your team know that it's okay to share their feelings, thoughts, and concerns, affirming that their emotions are valid and have a place in the workplace. By fostering an inclusive and open environment where employees feel comfortable expressing themselves, gossip, bullying, silos and other destructive behaviors are significantly reduced.?

Practice Empathy

Empathy is the quality that allows us to step out of our own shoes and step into those of another, seeing the world from their perspective. When we practice empathy, we show a genuine interest in what others have to say and make a sincere effort to understand where they're coming from. It's a beautiful way of showing others that we care about their experiences and that we're willing to listen to what they have to say.?

Practicing empathy can include organizing team-building activities that promote solutioning from an opposing position, coordinating cross-functional projects, activities that encourage collaboration across teams or linking business goals to support collaboration. Such experiences provide opportunities to connect on a deeper level and develop empathy organically. So, engage in active listening, validate emotions, and offer support where needed.?

Encourage Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence. It involves the ability to recognize and understand one's own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and motivations. It enables individuals to manage their emotions effectively, remain calm under pressure, make better decisions, and adapt to changing circumstances.

Encourage your team to recognize and understand their emotions and how they impact their work life. By promoting self-awareness, your team can better navigate their emotional landscape and avoid negative interactions. Start each team meeting with exercises that help identify how they are feeling. One great meeting opener is “Describe how you are feeling with three words” or “Share one positive outcome and one negative challenge you are currently facing?”?

Avoid binary questions or questions that have automated answers, such as? “How are you feeling?” Why? Because there is likely a thought that the expectation is a “good” response and that does not get to the heart of helping them understand their true feelings.

Celebrate and Model EQ Behavior

Acknowledge and celebrate instances of EQ behavior within your team, as it reinforces the importance of such behavior in the workplace. Additionally, lead by example – demonstrate EQ behavior yourself so your team can witness it in action.

One of the most frequent experiences I hear from women I coach is “well I was talking to them about (insert high emotion/high vulnerability topic here) and then I just started to cry!! And we can’t cry. As women we are already coming from a deficit of being thought of as weak and not able to stand the pressure”. It reminds me of the line from A League of Their Own when Tom Hanks' character says, “there’s no crying baseball!!”.?

And well sometimes there is crying in baseball and in things we really care about. How is caring so much about your work, your colleagues, your interactions that it pours out of your eyes a weakness? If we can normalize our emotional expression, and do not harm in the process (let’s not make screaming and expressing anger in an ineffective way the norm), but really get ok with the wide arrange of emotions we all experience. While we don’t want to weaponize tears or any emotion for that matter, it is important to allow others to see authentic expressions of happiness, frustrations, sadness, exuberance and acceptance. Sharing emotions is a wonderful way to build trust, compassion, and empathy, and connect as humans.?

Offer Emotional Intelligence Workshops and Training

Consider organizing workshops or training sessions on emotional intelligence, where employees can learn essential skills like understanding emotions, communicating effectively, resolving conflicts, and more. This will equip them with tools to navigate their professional lives more mindfully.?

Emotions shouldn't be seen as a hindrance in the professional world but rather as a powerful tool. By embracing EQ, employees and managers alike can foster more open, empathetic.

Not sure how to get started with your own journey or in supporting your teams, contact us today!

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