Emotional Intelligence: Do you have it?

Daniel Goleman popularized the importance of Emotional Intelligence, a.k.a. EQ, with his research and books on the subject.

?We all instinctively know he is right.

?Emotional Intelligence has been defined as the ability to understand one's own emotions and the emotions of the people around one.

Key characteristics of people who possess EQ are self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and social skills.

?Most people were terminated from their positions not because they lacked technical skills but because of their inability to interact with fellow employees. In other words, they lack emotional intelligence.

?Since it's so important, the question is, how do we evaluate ourselves?

?We can take a traditional intelligence quotient test and receive an objective score for our IQ.

?Yet, no objective test can give us an accurate answer for EQ.

?So, I will suggest a good way to test and evaluate yourself, and it might help you if your responsibilities include hiring or evaluating employees.

?Emotional Intelligence is somewhat of an oxymoron. The ancient Greeks did not think emotions could be intelligent because they were irrational.

?But every emotion we face has three components:

1. The physiological response from our body

2. The mental awareness of this new motion

3. How we react to it mentally and then what we do

?So, here's a simple test involving the four critical emotions and how you should rate yourself on a scale from 1 to 5:

1. Anger

??Do you respond immediately to the individual or persons that trigger an angry reaction in you?

??Your highest score of 5 would mean you take the time to absorb what happened, ask yourself if you contributed to the action taken against you, and then give a measured and appropriate response.

??Lee Iacocca was fired as president of Ford Motor Company. He remembered what his father taught him: "Don't get angry; just get even." He never sued Ford Motor Company but became the famous turnaround leader for Chrysler Motor Company. He would get a five!

1. Love

This emotion has been important in many great relationships and marriages, but it's also the downfall of many great business leaders. At least, they thought it was love. That included Bill Clinton, President of the United States. Harvey Weinstein sits in prison like other famous men.

So, rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 5, the highest being 5:??

When this emotion grabs you, and you start to fall in love or fall into infatuation, do you ask yourself this question:

If this becomes public in the media, will it embarrass me? If the answer to that is yes, do you terminate the relationship? That gets you a five.

1. Fear????

?????????????If you're faced with a life-threatening event and you have to act fast thanks to the flight or fight adrenaline hardwired in your system, you don't have time to think. Grizzly bears don't afford that opportunity. However, most situations provide an opportunity to think critically about a potential solution.

?????????????In my youth, I served as a United States Peace Corps volunteer in Kenya East Africa in a remote village in northern Kenya. I did know I had come down with malaria.

?But malaria kills thousands of people every year. But there were no doctors or hospitals in our region, and seasonal rains often wiped out the road to our village for months.

????????????I was able to locate a Catholic mission and used sign language to talk to one of the Italian nuns. She figured it out, gave me a shot, and I lived to tell the story.

????????????So, on a scale of one to five, with five again being the highest score, do you force yourself to stop, analyze the problem, and explore multiple options to deal with the source crediting the fearful situation?

????????????It's not easy because of the press and raging adrenaline in our systems.

????????????However, statistics show that those who take charge of their situations, especially with medical emergencies, tend to survive better and do better.

1. Conversations with others completely opposed to your way of thinking

????????We live in a toxic world where it is almost impossible to have a sensible dialogue with those who disagree with us. Cable news and social media amplify this, continually denigrating those opposed to their views, including personal attacks, what the Greeks called "ad hominem attacks," on other people's character.

???????So when you're confronted in meetings in your business or with others socially, do you ask yourself this question: If we can agree on a goal, is this individual sharing something from which I learn something and thereby improve?

???????If you can pursue those kinds of discussions with an open mind, seeking new information you might not already know, then rate yourself a five. If you can't, then you can scale yourself down accordingly.

????????Most of those kinds of discussions provide opportunities to change our perspective. The only exception is something that requires us to rethink our basic values, such as honesty and ethics. Those are not starters.

????????A high score on this test proves that you can empathize with others, which is the heart and soul of emotional intelligence.

When you finish your scores on each of the above, please add them up. If you score above 15, you can declare that you possess emotional intelligence.

If you feel you can achieve at least 15, I have embedded the techniques you can use to improve your EQ.

These insights can also be used when you test people during the interview process, enhancing your chances of hiring the best candidate.

#Emotionalintelligence #fear #anger #love #creativity #brain expansion group #empathy

Dan Steininger

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